I certainly don't need training regarding proper booze smuggling. Where is J.Edward's thread on DL Award Ticket Change Fees, again? :D

I must admit that the tale was somewhat embellished. The dude with the rat tail was indeed attempting to get the beer through and holding up the line (at 5:30am, mind you). Alas, he wasn't wearing the offensive T-shirt. The guy a few persons back from him in line was. I combined them in the interests of hyperbole, obfuscation, and general tomfoolery... and because, in a perfect world, rat-tail dude would so have been wearing that shirt.

What better place for tomfoolery than the security line at 5:30AM. :D

I've always wanted to try the old Spinal Tap foil-wrapped-cucumber in pants gag at the metal detector. However, I'm not sure I'd want to deal with the repercussions from the Terribly Stupid Administration.

True, but the travel schedule has me needing to go to NYC, not SJU. Not saying I wouldn't love to visit Puerto Rico at some point, but right now the travel schedule (and funds) are pretty well spoken for for the rest of 2008. So I'll stick to MIA-JFK at this point.

That's not to say I would be opposed to getting a second AB6 on JFK-SJU at some point. ;)

Maybe your beer smuggler was the same one I got behind at IAH A South last December. He had a 12 pack in his carry-on suitcase and started arguing with the TSA about how he needed to carry it on the plane so he could drink it during the flight. When they told him he could buy a beer on board and that the only way the beer was getting on the plane was in his checked bag, he said "Them airline employees will drank my beer."

He had a US boarding pass.

What would follow would be a national ban on Cucumbers, and that wouldn't be good for anyone, friend.

Wirelessly posted (bb: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0) BlackBerry8310/4.2.2 Profile/MIDP-2.0 Configuration/CLDC-1.1 VendorID/102)

"They're looking at us and we've got these armadillos in our trousers, and they run screaming."

Nearly a decade ago I got behind a guy at IAH C who kept setting off the metal detector, so they were giving him the hand wand. This was in the pre-TSA days when the entire line got held up when someone needed hand wanding. The metal detector only beeped when it passed over his crotch region. He'd been patted down and emptied his pockets, and yet the thing still registered that there was a large amount of metal hiding under his clothing. The security screener said "Sir is there anything else metal on you? Any jewelry, medical device?" The passenger responded "I have a very large piercing. Down there."

The male security screener turned red in the face and said "Ouch. You may go now. Enjoy your flight."

You would be so hosed if you tried to smuggle tzatziki through security:

TSA Screener: Sir, is this a liquid, gel, or cucumber?
ME: Uh, well, you see... it's all three, really.
TSA Screener: Please step this way, sir.
ME: I need an adult! I need an adult!
TSA Screener: You're not a terrorist, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that, fatty fat fatty.

:D:D^

While I'm married to Marriott, I've been keeping Starwood as my mistress and been spending more and more time with them. They are so good to me. Sigh. It's hard to go back to the same old thing after experiencing the excitement of suite upgrades; staff that is actually happy that I am there. I'll still maintain my Plat with Marriott; but Mistress Starwood is keeping the same color.

I feel the same way. I'm a Hilton Diamond, and Gold with Marriott, and this year have been throwing Starwood more and more stays. I'll still keep up my Hilton and Marriott status (I could stop staying at Hilton tomorrow and stay Diamond into 2010 at this point) but I've been rather impressed by several recent Starwood stays. And they certainly are more generous with the bonus points than Hilton is these days. My main complaint about Starwood is their small number of hotels, especially outside of larger cities. But that does seem to be slowly improving as they roll out new brands, and expand some of the current ones.

Have any of you in the box stayed at Aloft yet?

In case anyone cares...
 

Random musings from my day:

- I love caipirinhas.
- 2.5 hrs of sleep in the last 30 hrs or so...ugh... :(
- I never thought I'd be so happy to see a bookstore. Spent $50 USD on 3 crappy paperbacks and it was worth every penny!
- If I fall ill in Brazil, please please PLEASE take me to a private hospital, not public.
- Caipirinhas are good.
- Brazilians eat constantly! Fried food, baked goods, sandwiches, cafe com leite...every 15 minutes people take a break for chatting and snacking...and they're skinny!!!
- New flightmemory line: CGH-JOI-CGH (now complete for 2008...working on prior history)
- A319, row to myself, hot sandwich and drink service...on a 229 mile flight!
- There's something very comforting about coming "home" to a large American chain hotel when spending the week in a country where all you know of the language is "please", "thank you", "red wine", and "restroom". (oh...and "caipirinha" ^ )

Shell NYC, but how do you like the caipirinhas? ;)