DYKWIA - The 2017 thread
Mar 2, 2017, 7:41 am
#121
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Bristol
Programs: BA GGL, UA Plat, DL Plat, Hilton Diamond
Posts: 2,380
I like to think I would have the presence of mind to boldly walk back up the jetway and announce "All fixed now, have a safe flight !"
Mar 2, 2017, 8:23 am
#123
Join Date: Dec 2013
Programs: QRPC Platinum, KFEG
Posts: 999
In the priority line at Tampa, waiting to board the BA flight to London, us Club World passengers were patiently waiting to shuffle on early, when an elderly couple push past us to the head of the queue. I politely point out that there is a queue. The man retorts grandly, 'we have priority because we are in Club'. I reply that everyone in the queue has the same priority because we are all Club passengers. His dear lady wife chimes in, with an unmistakeable air of triumph, 'But WE are FULL FARE passengers. Most of the people here look as if they have had free upgrades, or are using air miles'. Micro-seconds before a riot breaks out, a staffer appears and insists the couple go to the back of the queue. Which they reluctantly do, amid much huffing and puffing and threats to 'take this insult up at the highest level'.
Simple, require everyone to wear a huge piece of paper around their neck with their booking code so they can find their place in the queue accordingly.
Mar 3, 2017, 1:22 pm
#124
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: usually somewhere between 30000 and 40000 feet...but actually the English countryside
Programs: BA GGL/Lifetime Gold, EK Gold, Lowly M&M, Marriott tit, Hhonors Diamond, numerous others
Posts: 1,156
So GVA this afternoon. The 729 back to LHR is already suffering a delay of 30 minutes or so - I think we ended up at 45 eventually.
Now for those of you who don't know the route, it can often be a great sense of amusement.
We were called to the gate from the lounge and there was already a queue around 20 deep in the priority lane - despite boarding not eventually commencing for another 15 minutes or so.
Then the announcement for Gold, Club etc and I joined the back of the queue which rapidly thinned out as the non-entitled were told to wait their turns. Two older "gentlemen" sidled in from the side in front of me but I let it go.
The nice lady at the gate looked at their BP's and said that as Bronzes they shouldn't really be boarding at this point, but she would let them this time. (I think she mentioned something about them being Senior!)
At this point, the taller of the two then launches into a rant about when did this change, he has always been entitled to priority boarding etc and how Easyjet never spoke to him like this etc etc.
His smaller, similarly unentitled, companion simply egged him on and off they go - 10 yards. As happens often, the tensa barrier at the top of the stairs was still across so the queue was backed up down the stairs.
These two then started to rant and moan to each other, looking around for support from others about how disgusting the wait was, where was anyone in charge, the station manager, Im going to write in etc. They really were by now looking like pompous prats.
Im about to tell them to belt up, when the barrier goes up and we start to board. The small one then starts to get agitated about now having to wait on the airbridge and starts to tell his mate how he is going to talk to the purser and give him "what for". His mate tells him thats what he is good at, and is looking forward to it.
The poor guy at the door then cops a load of drivel from the dwarf, sorry, smaller companion, and is asked to stand to one side so as not to impede boarding.
I actually know the CSM and had seen him earlier in the airport and simply winked at him as I boarded.
He embarrassingly proceeded to give me a very OTT welcome, how valued my custom was and so forth. It was quite funny to see the bronze dwarf subtly cut off from his moaning and he simply ran out of steam as he now made his deflated way to the back.
It brightened my afternoon anyway..
Now for those of you who don't know the route, it can often be a great sense of amusement.
We were called to the gate from the lounge and there was already a queue around 20 deep in the priority lane - despite boarding not eventually commencing for another 15 minutes or so.
Then the announcement for Gold, Club etc and I joined the back of the queue which rapidly thinned out as the non-entitled were told to wait their turns. Two older "gentlemen" sidled in from the side in front of me but I let it go.
The nice lady at the gate looked at their BP's and said that as Bronzes they shouldn't really be boarding at this point, but she would let them this time. (I think she mentioned something about them being Senior!)
At this point, the taller of the two then launches into a rant about when did this change, he has always been entitled to priority boarding etc and how Easyjet never spoke to him like this etc etc.
His smaller, similarly unentitled, companion simply egged him on and off they go - 10 yards. As happens often, the tensa barrier at the top of the stairs was still across so the queue was backed up down the stairs.
These two then started to rant and moan to each other, looking around for support from others about how disgusting the wait was, where was anyone in charge, the station manager, Im going to write in etc. They really were by now looking like pompous prats.
Im about to tell them to belt up, when the barrier goes up and we start to board. The small one then starts to get agitated about now having to wait on the airbridge and starts to tell his mate how he is going to talk to the purser and give him "what for". His mate tells him thats what he is good at, and is looking forward to it.
The poor guy at the door then cops a load of drivel from the dwarf, sorry, smaller companion, and is asked to stand to one side so as not to impede boarding.
I actually know the CSM and had seen him earlier in the airport and simply winked at him as I boarded.
He embarrassingly proceeded to give me a very OTT welcome, how valued my custom was and so forth. It was quite funny to see the bronze dwarf subtly cut off from his moaning and he simply ran out of steam as he now made his deflated way to the back.
It brightened my afternoon anyway..
Mar 3, 2017, 3:20 pm
#125
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: US of A
Programs: Delta Diamond, United 1K, BA Blue, Marriott Titanium, Hilton Gold, Amex Platinum
Posts: 1,775
So GVA this afternoon. The 729 back to LHR is already suffering a delay of 30 minutes or so - I think we ended up at 45 eventually.
Now for those of you who don't know the route, it can often be a great sense of amusement.
We were called to the gate from the lounge and there was already a queue around 20 deep in the priority lane - despite boarding not eventually commencing for another 15 minutes or so.
Then the announcement for Gold, Club etc and I joined the back of the queue which rapidly thinned out as the non-entitled were told to wait their turns. Two older "gentlemen" sidled in from the side in front of me but I let it go.
The nice lady at the gate looked at their BP's and said that as Bronzes they shouldn't really be boarding at this point, but she would let them this time. (I think she mentioned something about them being Senior!)
At this point, the taller of the two then launches into a rant about when did this change, he has always been entitled to priority boarding etc and how Easyjet never spoke to him like this etc etc.
His smaller, similarly unentitled, companion simply egged him on and off they go - 10 yards. As happens often, the tensa barrier at the top of the stairs was still across so the queue was backed up down the stairs.
These two then started to rant and moan to each other, looking around for support from others about how disgusting the wait was, where was anyone in charge, the station manager, Im going to write in etc. They really were by now looking like pompous prats.
Im about to tell them to belt up, when the barrier goes up and we start to board. The small one then starts to get agitated about now having to wait on the airbridge and starts to tell his mate how he is going to talk to the purser and give him "what for". His mate tells him thats what he is good at, and is looking forward to it.
The poor guy at the door then cops a load of drivel from the dwarf, sorry, smaller companion, and is asked to stand to one side so as not to impede boarding.
I actually know the CSM and had seen him earlier in the airport and simply winked at him as I boarded.
He embarrassingly proceeded to give me a very OTT welcome, how valued my custom was and so forth. It was quite funny to see the bronze dwarf subtly cut off from his moaning and he simply ran out of steam as he now made his deflated way to the back.
It brightened my afternoon anyway..
Now for those of you who don't know the route, it can often be a great sense of amusement.
We were called to the gate from the lounge and there was already a queue around 20 deep in the priority lane - despite boarding not eventually commencing for another 15 minutes or so.
Then the announcement for Gold, Club etc and I joined the back of the queue which rapidly thinned out as the non-entitled were told to wait their turns. Two older "gentlemen" sidled in from the side in front of me but I let it go.
The nice lady at the gate looked at their BP's and said that as Bronzes they shouldn't really be boarding at this point, but she would let them this time. (I think she mentioned something about them being Senior!)
At this point, the taller of the two then launches into a rant about when did this change, he has always been entitled to priority boarding etc and how Easyjet never spoke to him like this etc etc.
His smaller, similarly unentitled, companion simply egged him on and off they go - 10 yards. As happens often, the tensa barrier at the top of the stairs was still across so the queue was backed up down the stairs.
These two then started to rant and moan to each other, looking around for support from others about how disgusting the wait was, where was anyone in charge, the station manager, Im going to write in etc. They really were by now looking like pompous prats.
Im about to tell them to belt up, when the barrier goes up and we start to board. The small one then starts to get agitated about now having to wait on the airbridge and starts to tell his mate how he is going to talk to the purser and give him "what for". His mate tells him thats what he is good at, and is looking forward to it.
The poor guy at the door then cops a load of drivel from the dwarf, sorry, smaller companion, and is asked to stand to one side so as not to impede boarding.
I actually know the CSM and had seen him earlier in the airport and simply winked at him as I boarded.
He embarrassingly proceeded to give me a very OTT welcome, how valued my custom was and so forth. It was quite funny to see the bronze dwarf subtly cut off from his moaning and he simply ran out of steam as he now made his deflated way to the back.
It brightened my afternoon anyway..
Mar 3, 2017, 5:47 pm
#126
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 279
In the priority line at Tampa, waiting to board the BA flight to London, us Club World passengers were patiently waiting to shuffle on early, when an elderly couple push past us to the head of the queue. I politely point out that there is a queue. The man retorts grandly, 'we have priority because we are in Club'. I reply that everyone in the queue has the same priority because we are all Club passengers. His dear lady wife chimes in, with an unmistakeable air of triumph, 'But WE are FULL FARE passengers. Most of the people here look as if they have had free upgrades, or are using air miles'. Micro-seconds before a riot breaks out, a staffer appears and insists the couple go to the back of the queue. Which they reluctantly do, amid much huffing and puffing and threats to 'take this insult up at the highest level'.
Mar 3, 2017, 5:49 pm
#127
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Thames Valley
Programs: BAEC, LHM&M, and even a dusty KLFB!
Posts: 894
This right here is genuine, 24 carat, genius! I pray to whatever urges and demiurges exist out there on the astral plane that I remember this line for the inevitable future time that I need it...
Mar 3, 2017, 6:05 pm
#128
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: UK, Peak District near MAN
Programs: BA- blue, BD,DL
Posts: 2,027
Mar 3, 2017, 10:48 pm
#129
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: London
Programs: Hilton, IHG - BA, GA, LH, QR, SV, TK
Posts: 17,008
...
I actually know the CSM and had seen him earlier in the airport and simply winked at him as I boarded.
He embarrassingly proceeded to give me a very OTT welcome, how valued my custom was and so forth. It was quite funny to see the bronze dwarf subtly cut off from his moaning and he simply ran out of steam as he now made his deflated way to the back.
It brightened my afternoon anyway..
I actually know the CSM and had seen him earlier in the airport and simply winked at him as I boarded.
He embarrassingly proceeded to give me a very OTT welcome, how valued my custom was and so forth. It was quite funny to see the bronze dwarf subtly cut off from his moaning and he simply ran out of steam as he now made his deflated way to the back.
It brightened my afternoon anyway..
Mar 3, 2017, 11:19 pm
#130
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: usually somewhere between 30000 and 40000 feet...but actually the English countryside
Programs: BA GGL/Lifetime Gold, EK Gold, Lowly M&M, Marriott tit, Hhonors Diamond, numerous others
Posts: 1,156
i did ponder whether to put that part in but decided for completeness it had to go in...
i wasn't even going to mention the special services lady airbridge meet at LHR...
Last edited by Beano HK; Mar 3, 2017 at 11:19 pm Reason: typo
Mar 4, 2017, 2:21 am
#131
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Balham - Gateway to The South
Programs: BA Bronze
Posts: 2,020
In the priority line at Tampa, waiting to board the BA flight to London, us Club World passengers were patiently waiting to shuffle on early, when an elderly couple push past us to the head of the queue. I politely point out that there is a queue. The man retorts grandly, 'we have priority because we are in Club'. I reply that everyone in the queue has the same priority because we are all Club passengers. His dear lady wife chimes in, with an unmistakeable air of triumph, 'But WE are FULL FARE passengers. Most of the people here look as if they have had free upgrades, or are using air miles'. Micro-seconds before a riot breaks out, a staffer appears and insists the couple go to the back of the queue. Which they reluctantly do, amid much huffing and puffing and threats to 'take this insult up at the highest level'.
That has started my weekend off with a laugh ^^
Mar 4, 2017, 4:12 am
#132
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: UK
Programs: BA Bronze, IHG Platinum Elite, Hilton Gold
Posts: 31
Mar 4, 2017, 4:57 am
#134
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: London
Programs: BA Gold
Posts: 1,683
In the priority line at Tampa, waiting to board the BA flight to London, us Club World passengers were patiently waiting to shuffle on early, when an elderly couple push past us to the head of the queue. I politely point out that there is a queue. The man retorts grandly, 'we have priority because we are in Club'. I reply that everyone in the queue has the same priority because we are all Club passengers. His dear lady wife chimes in, with an unmistakeable air of triumph, 'But WE are FULL FARE passengers. Most of the people here look as if they have had free upgrades, or are using air miles'. Micro-seconds before a riot breaks out, a staffer appears and insists the couple go to the back of the queue. Which they reluctantly do, amid much huffing and puffing and threats to 'take this insult up at the highest level'.
Mar 4, 2017, 5:02 am
#135
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Anywhere
Posts: 6,576
However, I was rudely stopped upon walking onto the plane. Why you may ask? Well, because I was about to board a flight to Bangkok and not Singapore...the SIN gate had been changed to H4, and I hadn't bothered to check.
So, a very very embarrassing walk back up the jetway, past the same people I had skipped past, up the stairs, past security, and over to H4.
So, a very very embarrassing walk back up the jetway, past the same people I had skipped past, up the stairs, past security, and over to H4.
MH's approach to security here is disturbingly nonchalant, I'm shocked to discover.