beachmouse

I've actually told shop clerks that yes, I know their training manual says they're supposed to keep checking with the customer and informing them of the virtues of different products but some of us really do want to just pick out our underwear in peace and I'll leave the store without buying anything if you don't let me do that.

stealthferret

I had an 'accident claim' cold call as I left work so for my entire 30 min drive home I gleefully told the guy on the phone every detail of the 'accident' I had been in - he didn't catch on that I was basically explaining the plot to Speed. He even asked who was the bus operator.

Wozza2404

"And what's your name, Sir?"
"Perry"
"Terry"
"Perry"
"Terry?"
"Perry. With a P. P for pteradactyl."
"Erm..."
"Then E for eye"

Etc.

You can make up your own. A for Aegean, W for write. etc.

You can continue with A for Aegean, etc.

LTN Phobia

I've managed 45 minutes That is my record so far! I had them swearing at me when I revealed that they mistook me for an ignorant victim and I was playing them all along. Meanwhile, I was working on a project while pretending I was trying to work out what to do, claiming my computer was slow as a snail because it's ancient and running Window (rather than Windows) "something old" (in reality it's a nice and quick i7 running Windows 10 Pro, hooked up to a lovely 4K monitor) and that I was completely clueless and I kept apologising, and getting every instruction wrong. They were trying to get me to install a remote control software on my computer, so I told them it failed to install and all sorts...

Best use of DYKWIA towards the end of the call, with a claim that I was in fact an "IT security expert, specialising in computer-based scams" (but that DYKWIA might not entirely be the truth - scammers do not deserve the truth )

If more people donated their time to "battle scammers through wasting scammers' time", I think we might eventually win the war with scammers in some small ways. Scammers aren't ignorant of what they are doing and I really object to those who try to find unsuspecting victims, who are often clueless and frightened of something may have gone wrong.

I would happily even do fake DYKWIA to fight them, and I encourage all willing participants to reward themselves with practising their DYKWIA skills with them after sufficiently misleading the scammers into believing you are clueless and stupid and can easily be duped.

(Sorry about going non-airline DYKWIA but DYKWIA has its use in the right context!)

TheOldMan

I keep a whistle beside the telephone. They tend to leave you alone for quite a while as they are visiting the doctor.

Fitch

The car accident claims are fun.

100% success rate with the following:

Me: "Hello"

Scammer: "I'm calling you about the accident you were involved in on 7th November"

Me: "What's my name ?"

<dial tone>


The only variation I've had was back when the opener was actually a human:

Me: "What's my name ?"

Scammer: "I can't tell you due to data protection"

golfmad

Just tried this out. Had a call claiming to be from Hilton offering me something remarkable. On and on they went until they asked me a question at which point I told them we were on a recorded line and asked what was their relationship to Hilton? They hung up and I felt good.

Irreverent Medusa

My weapon of choice is a track by Diamanda Galas called "wild women with steak knives (the homicidal love song for solo scream)" Most of her stuff is fairly experimental - I do like her work and she has an incredible voice - but this track is really far on the vocal experiment scale even by her standards and not one I'd choose to listen to that often

Barnaby100

I always tell them about the terrible accident that I have had. I then have a long tale which culminates in the giraffe running out and hitting my car with his neck and 1 leg going through the sunroof. At that point they almost always put the phone down.

When it was an industrial accident the giraffe fell onto me from the warehouse shelving etc.

jimlad48

I find with accident that wasnt my fault claims, telling them yes, and it was when I was in Paris in August 1997 and I am sure a Fiat was involved usually gets interesting...

T8191

.
.

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I guess we really should revert to DYKWIA..

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signol

A is for Aisle, B is for Bdellium, C is for Czar...

signol

golfmad

I love the way AA always refer to 'D as in David' as they can't bring themselves to refer to a competitor

T8191

So they know who they are, clearly.

golfmad

Very nicely brought back On Topic! Well done