gold23

How old was the son, and how genuine was the ask? If the kid was 15 or younger (sounds like he was, since you indicate young woman), I do this swap as long as its not a middle seat. My comfort can be slightly inconvenienced so that a mother and her child (who likely do not fly a whole lot) can be together and not stress.

If this is adults or even late teenage kids? I calmly explain the qualitative difference in seats and decline. But unless I'm downgrading cabins, I'll 100% switch for families. I think too many of us assume that the average person who rarely flies understands how to guarantee seats together- especially when they're likely concerned first and foremost with pricing of the tix.

My favorite personal experience was flying ATL-EWR a few years back, with my sister and young niece. They were in 8 B/C on 737 and I was sitting up front. After most have boarded but before door closes, I get up and ask 8A if he'd mind switching seats. He hems and haws, likely getting ready to deny my request (quite understandably) when he goes "well, where is your seat?" I point to first class, he smiles, and gives me an affirmative nod. My niece, to this day, thinks I am the greatest person in the world for moving back a few rows to sit with her on a 2hr flight. Little things, lol. Oh, and yes the FA saw this happening and told me that I shouldn't have done it and that there were people on upgrade list. I agreed, but also said that if I didn't switch with him specifically then those people wouldn't have upgraded, so it was hurting nobody. She chuckled, said "that's not really how it works" but didn't do anything else.

climmy

This thread always brings back a fond memory. Years ago...Flying CO pre-merger, had two $500 vouchers for Mrs Climmy and myself. Cashed it in for $532 tickets SFO-IAH-AMS. Had great Y seats on a wide-open 764 on the IAH-AMS segment.

Had a good tiff with Mrs Climmy on the first segment so we went our separate ways in the terminal at IAH. Anyway, boarded the plane and took my seat for the AMS leg. Noticed the plane filling up quickly....very quickly. Told a Martinair flight had been cancelled and our flight would go out full. WAY full.

Few minutes later, GA found me and was told they needed my seat and I would be upgraded to biz (again net net for $32!). Asked if I could give my seat to Mrs Clim (This is ALWAYS SOP for me). GA: "sure". At this time a semi-mad Mrs Clim shows up and is now a little less mad. Takes her seat in biz and I'm in the back.

Because of the cancellation fiasco, the Martinair pax were all split up. I was asked to move and accepted. Asked again...and again...and again. Ended up in a non-reclining seat and just wondered "What have I done?".

Few minutes later the GA walks by and asks "How did you end up here?" Told her seat swaps. Few minutes after that I was summoned up to biz and she specifically stated: "If you hadn't given your seat to your wife AND hadn't moved around a bunch of times I would NEVER have arranged this".

Flew on the 10 hour leg in biz with a now-happy Mrs Clim for $64 total! I guess sometimes it does pay to switch seats...Can't remember what stupid thing we were scrapping about.

gaobest

Very kind of you to swap with the son.

Boraxo

concur. I would never take that trade. Tell her to find another seat in the back. I am sure there are a couple of middles that would be happy to do it for a bulkhead

tarheelnj

Let’s assume for a moment these are inexperienced travelers experiencing IRROPS. They would likely have been on standby and assigned their seats just before boarding by the GA, who likely just told her when asked about seats together, “oh, no problem, just ask the person next to you on the plane - I’m sure they’ll switch their seat.” I blame the lazy GA for not dealing with it prior to boarding or alerting the FAs to sort it out. I believe your decision was the right one for you in that moment. At a minimum, I would include an FA in the discussion, something like, “Hi, I’m a (status level) flier and feel bad that this lady and her son are split up. Due to my (height/bad back/bad knee, etc.), I would have a hard time with the seat where her son is seated, but want to help. What do you suggest?” That shows the other passenger that you’re not a jerk (forum title) and puts the onus to fix this squarely back on the FA, where it belongs. If there’s a no-show in J, I would think it would increase your chances of snagging that seat resulting in a happy ending for everyone (except #1 on the upgrade list).

erik123

Many years ago did Milan-Amsterdam during fashion week. I had a nice aisle up front but after boarding there's a guy in my seat. He's huffing and puffing and not giving up his seat. I tell him no problem ask him for his seat number and end up in a middle in the back of the plane - where 2 models are waiting for me to take the middle. I exchanged numbers with the chatty one and we started dating a few weeks later. You should have seen Mr. seat poachers face when he went to use the lav in the back.

ContinentalFan

I’ve had one or two similar experiences with passengers/flight attendants. The flight attendant in all likelihood suggests asking; the passenger relays a message that I have to move!

Back to the original discussion: frankly, I don’t see why any explanation is needed and how it can help. Why not just decline?

If a passenger can’t accept the answer “no” as graciously as they’d accept “yes,” then they’re not actually asking.

mahasamatman

I think it's ridiculous that so many of the responses here are literally telling the OP that he was wrong to do what he did and then go on to tell the OP what he should have done. Just because you would do or not do something does not give you the right to tell someone else they did something wrong.

hughw

When I fly with Mrs. hughw, I've made a lot of people happy by asking them to switch seats. I usually book seats A and C in Premium Plus with the hope that middle seat B will stay empty. When we board, we sit in assigned seats. If someone shows up for B, we politely ask if they mind sitting in aisle seat C so we can sit together in A and B. So far, no one has hesitated to accept.

prestonh

OP literally solicited feedback including 'would have done'. not sure how else to interpret the request.

mfirst

I appreciate the comments - even some of the criticism
obviously, as some can appreciate - it is difficult to turn down a request from a mother with her child, but maybe part of the question is also - and how I learned from this in retrospective - to be more engaging of the UA crew to solve such problems. Such as "I would be happy to change, but UA prohibits such things unless they approve" - a point that I think is actually true

I did casually mention it to the FA in the area (who btw, looked like was having a rough day already and who I preemptively gave a bag of candy too) - but nothing.....

EmailKid

Agree, I did not see any poster telling OP what he should have done in any negative way. I suppose it could be subject to interpretation, but that is my interpretation of the posts.

I also note that a couple or so posters wished OP good karma. I don't believe in karma so don't wish good or bad karma to / for anyone. Now dogma, that is a whole another beast

eng3

Answering your questions directly
​​​​​​​
I decide if the proposed seat to my liking relative to my own. The amount I feel like putting my comfort ahead of the person asking is directly proportional to the length of the flight. Then, I provide the appropriate answer and move on with my day
No. Since it is a request, I have the option to say 'yes' or 'no'.
If someone decides to give me dirty looks for 16hrs, in order to try to make me feel like a jerk, who is really the 'jerk' in this situation?

DELee

Wow. Ruff crowd.

David

mfirst

just as long as there is no karma running over my dogma.......
.. and yes, in the end - I feel like I did a good deed for someone even if it meant me being uncomfortable for a few hours....

Oh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness

... and as a side note - I just shared my story with 1kvoice - I know a waste of electrons, but will see what they say....shocking that I didnt get a survey on this leg, but I did on the next one....

happy new year to all