"In Memory"
Oct 24, 2012 | 11:36 am
#106
Moderator: American AAdvantage
Join Date: May 2000
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Resources for those experiencing grief from pet loss
Having experienced too many losses over the years, including two cairn terriers, two Siberian huskies, two cats, a German shepherd, four Rhodesian Ridgebacks, one "Heinz 57" - all except the Cairns we purchased from a breeder in the 1960s were rescues - we can empathize with what folks are feeling when they lose a pet. (This doesn't count the pets we each lost before we married.) It's not easy, we have to allow ourselves time and space to grieve and not everyone understands.
RSSrsvp, we've walked that difficult walk and had to make the difficult decision for some of our pets - quality of life vs. end of pain and travail. Heartfelt sympathies for you and lots of kudos for doing the right, if difficult, thing.
The University of California at Davis Veterinary Medical School has previously operated the pet loss hotline previously mentioned, as well as a page that lists various pet loss resources here ranging from hotlines to memorial websites to books, articles, etc. They offer a short (two page) PDF brochure here.
Pet Loss Hotlines (most staffed by caring veterinary students)
Cornell University pet loss support hotline
607-253-3932, 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET, Tuesday-Thursday
University of Illinois pet loss helpline
US Tollfree (877) 394-CARE (2273) / (217) 244-CARE (2273) in Champaign, IL
7:00 - 9:00 p.m. CT, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday
Michigan State University pet loss support hotline
517-432-2696, 6:30 - 9:30 p.m. EST, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
(Summer hours Tuesday and Thursday only)
* Callers are invited to leave a message if calling outside of these hours. Your call will be returned during our next regular hotline hours. Calls are returned with a calling card and may appear as unlisted on caller-id.
Tufts University pet loss support hotline
508-839-7966 6:00 PM - 9:00 p.m. EST Monday - Thursday during the academic year
Washington State University pet loss hotline
1-(866) 266-8635 or (509) 335-5704 7:00 -9:00 p.m. Monday-Thursday, and 1:00 -3:00 p.m. Saturday Pacific Time during the academic year.
E-mail [email protected]
While school is not in session and during holidays we have abbreviated hours checking phone and email messages Monday-Thursday and Saturday once daily. All messages will be returned as soon as possible.
Note: most have additional weblinks and resources available
A short, non-copyrighted article from UC Davis Vet Med School here:
RSSrsvp, we've walked that difficult walk and had to make the difficult decision for some of our pets - quality of life vs. end of pain and travail. Heartfelt sympathies for you and lots of kudos for doing the right, if difficult, thing.
The University of California at Davis Veterinary Medical School has previously operated the pet loss hotline previously mentioned, as well as a page that lists various pet loss resources here ranging from hotlines to memorial websites to books, articles, etc. They offer a short (two page) PDF brochure here.
Pet Loss Hotlines (most staffed by caring veterinary students)
Cornell University pet loss support hotline
607-253-3932, 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET, Tuesday-Thursday
University of Illinois pet loss helpline
US Tollfree (877) 394-CARE (2273) / (217) 244-CARE (2273) in Champaign, IL
7:00 - 9:00 p.m. CT, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday
Michigan State University pet loss support hotline
517-432-2696, 6:30 - 9:30 p.m. EST, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
(Summer hours Tuesday and Thursday only)
* Callers are invited to leave a message if calling outside of these hours. Your call will be returned during our next regular hotline hours. Calls are returned with a calling card and may appear as unlisted on caller-id.
Tufts University pet loss support hotline
508-839-7966 6:00 PM - 9:00 p.m. EST Monday - Thursday during the academic year
Washington State University pet loss hotline
1-(866) 266-8635 or (509) 335-5704 7:00 -9:00 p.m. Monday-Thursday, and 1:00 -3:00 p.m. Saturday Pacific Time during the academic year.
E-mail [email protected]
While school is not in session and during holidays we have abbreviated hours checking phone and email messages Monday-Thursday and Saturday once daily. All messages will be returned as soon as possible.
Note: most have additional weblinks and resources available
A short, non-copyrighted article from UC Davis Vet Med School here:
Loving Animals and Losing Them
For those of us who choose to share our lives with pets, at one time or another we will undoubtedly become emotionally attached to them. Even for people who share their lives with many animals, every so often an extra special one comes along.
When we must face the loss of an extraordinary animal companion, we may be shocked to find ourselves experiencing intense grief. It might even be worrisome to have such an overwhelming response to losing "just an animal."
You need to realize this is NOT "just an animal." This pet, for reasons perhaps known only to you, has managed to find a very special, unique place in your life and in your heart. Part of the sadness in losing such a pet is knowing that no other pet or person will ever fill that special place in quite the same way.
Reactions to Loss
First and foremost, GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to have a reaction, whatever it is. Know that grief can occur before, during and after the loss of a loved one. Grief also includes a wide range of reactions that are considered normal, such as feeling numb, irritability, crying spells, hallucinations, and feeling hopeless.
Every loss is unique and every person grieves differently - even when experiencing the loss of the same animal or person. It is normal for profound sadness and grief to last a few weeks to many months, lessening with time. Without proper care and attention, painful grief can last for years.
Recovery from Grief
If you have suffered painful losses before, you may know that no two losses are alike and losing loved ones does not get easier. If a loss of this magnitude is new to you, you may feel as though you will never get over it and that you will be suffering forever.
PEOPLE DO RECOVER from painful losses. The people who adjust to loss are those who experience their feelings about the loss and take one day at a time. Many eventually decide to bring another pet into their lives.
In every case, grief does not go away magically. Dealing with your loss and the passage of time are the two best healers.
For those of us who choose to share our lives with pets, at one time or another we will undoubtedly become emotionally attached to them. Even for people who share their lives with many animals, every so often an extra special one comes along.
When we must face the loss of an extraordinary animal companion, we may be shocked to find ourselves experiencing intense grief. It might even be worrisome to have such an overwhelming response to losing "just an animal."
You need to realize this is NOT "just an animal." This pet, for reasons perhaps known only to you, has managed to find a very special, unique place in your life and in your heart. Part of the sadness in losing such a pet is knowing that no other pet or person will ever fill that special place in quite the same way.
Reactions to Loss
First and foremost, GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to have a reaction, whatever it is. Know that grief can occur before, during and after the loss of a loved one. Grief also includes a wide range of reactions that are considered normal, such as feeling numb, irritability, crying spells, hallucinations, and feeling hopeless.
Every loss is unique and every person grieves differently - even when experiencing the loss of the same animal or person. It is normal for profound sadness and grief to last a few weeks to many months, lessening with time. Without proper care and attention, painful grief can last for years.
Recovery from Grief
If you have suffered painful losses before, you may know that no two losses are alike and losing loved ones does not get easier. If a loss of this magnitude is new to you, you may feel as though you will never get over it and that you will be suffering forever.
PEOPLE DO RECOVER from painful losses. The people who adjust to loss are those who experience their feelings about the loss and take one day at a time. Many eventually decide to bring another pet into their lives.
In every case, grief does not go away magically. Dealing with your loss and the passage of time are the two best healers.
Last edited by JDiver; Oct 24, 2012 at 11:58 am Reason: add / update
Oct 24, 2012 | 1:22 pm
#107
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Join Date: Sep 2000
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Having experienced too many losses over the years, including two cairn terriers, two Siberian huskies, two cats, a German shepherd, four Rhodesian Ridgebacks, one "Heinz 57" - all except the Cairns we purchased from a breeder in the 1960s were rescues - we can empathize with what folks are feeling when they lose a pet. (This doesn't count the pets we each lost before we married.) It's not easy, we have to allow ourselves time and space to grieve and not everyone understands.
RSSrsvp, we've walked that difficult walk and had to make the difficult decision for some of our pets - quality of life vs. end of pain and travail. Heartfelt sympathies for you and lots of kudos for doing the right, if difficult, thing.
RSSrsvp, we've walked that difficult walk and had to make the difficult decision for some of our pets - quality of life vs. end of pain and travail. Heartfelt sympathies for you and lots of kudos for doing the right, if difficult, thing.
Dec 21, 2012 | 9:28 pm
#110
Moderator: Delta SkyMiles, Luxury Hotels, TravelBuzz! and Italy
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 27,013
Our sweet Hazel, our shiny black Pug died this week. She may have been the sweetest dog in our dog history. Hazel was unlike any pug I have ever known. Hazel thought she was a greyhound and could outrun every other dog in the dog park; she came pretty damn close.
She was 13.
During the last 2 years she had become incontinent and her back legs were paralyzed, apparently due to spinal problems.
We refused to euthanize her because she peed on our carpets.
Earlier this week, it became apparent that she was suffering. She had several seizures during the night and screamed.
We were thankful that she passed peacefully and is no longer suffering. I have had dogs my entire life. Saying goodbye never gets easier. Now, our Yorkie is very clingy. Although, they didn't exactly play, they did hang out. Big transition. Sad transition
She was 13.
During the last 2 years she had become incontinent and her back legs were paralyzed, apparently due to spinal problems.
We refused to euthanize her because she peed on our carpets.
Earlier this week, it became apparent that she was suffering. She had several seizures during the night and screamed.
We were thankful that she passed peacefully and is no longer suffering. I have had dogs my entire life. Saying goodbye never gets easier. Now, our Yorkie is very clingy. Although, they didn't exactly play, they did hang out. Big transition. Sad transition
Dec 24, 2012 | 4:21 pm
#113
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,022
I have just discovered this section of the forum about the special bonds between us and our pets. Reading the posts here about the immense griefs which we have all experienced in losing a beloved pet, made me wept. But, it also made me felt grateful that there are so many who love their pets deeply as we have. They are parts of our family - they give us more than we ever know. Thank you to all of you who have shared your stories here.
Dec 24, 2012 | 10:45 pm
#114
Original Poster
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Location: Greener Pastures
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My dog died this morning.
O2k, I'm so sorry to hear about Hazel - it sounds like you have her a very full life and did the right thing for her once the suffering became apparent.
Dec 27, 2012 | 9:36 am
#116
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bhatnasx, as you are the OP for this thread and many of us have posted about our own losses would you object if I revised the title to "In Memoriam" or "In Memory"?
Last edited by RSSrsvp; Dec 27, 2012 at 9:51 am
Jan 3, 2013 | 4:16 am
#117
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 1,022
Thanks for your kind words. Last night I was reflecting with one of my neighbors who is also a dog owner and she hit the nail right on the head. I had 2 beagles growing up as a kid but they were both "family" dogs. Angel was the first dog I owned in my adult life and I spent more time being with her than any living person in the last 10 years. She was my shadow and it was almost like she had a sixth sense that I needed a mental boost as no matter how bad a day I was having she always managed to put a smile on my face.
Jan 4, 2013 | 9:57 pm
#118
Moderator: Delta SkyMiles, Luxury Hotels, TravelBuzz! and Italy
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 27,013
O2K
Jan 9, 2013 | 11:22 am
#119
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Mar 28, 2013 | 5:59 pm
#120
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Lisbon, Portugal
Posts: 26
I was reading through the Travel with Pets forum and came across this thread.
Being the owner of a 7 year old black lab, I was moved by the original post and by the support of this community, even on a thread going for 5 years.
I'm very fortunate to be in such good company.
bhatnasx, hoping that the memories of Indy still remain strong
Being the owner of a 7 year old black lab, I was moved by the original post and by the support of this community, even on a thread going for 5 years.
I'm very fortunate to be in such good company.
bhatnasx, hoping that the memories of Indy still remain strong