Having experienced too many losses over the years, including two cairn terriers, two Siberian huskies, two cats, a German shepherd, four Rhodesian Ridgebacks, one "Heinz 57" - all except the Cairns we purchased from a breeder in the 1960s were rescues - we can empathize with what folks are feeling when they lose a pet. (This doesn't count the pets we each lost before we married.) It's not easy, we have to allow ourselves time and space to grieve and not everyone understands.
RSSrsvp, we've walked that difficult walk and had to make the difficult decision for some of our pets - quality of life vs. end of pain and travail. Heartfelt sympathies for you and lots of kudos for doing the right, if difficult, thing.
The University of California at Davis Veterinary Medical School has previously operated the pet loss hotline previously mentioned, as well as a page that lists various pet loss resources
here ranging from hotlines to memorial websites to books, articles, etc. They offer a short (two page) PDF brochure
here.
Pet Loss Hotlines (most staffed by caring veterinary students)
Cornell University pet loss support hotline
607-253-3932, 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. ET, Tuesday-Thursday
University of Illinois pet loss helpline
US Tollfree (877) 394-CARE (2273) / (217) 244-CARE (2273) in Champaign, IL
7:00 - 9:00 p.m. CT, Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday
Michigan State University pet loss support hotline
517-432-2696, 6:30 - 9:30 p.m. EST, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday
(Summer hours Tuesday and Thursday only)
* Callers are invited to leave a message if calling outside of these hours. Your call will be returned during our next regular hotline hours. Calls are returned with a calling card and may appear as unlisted on caller-id.
Tufts University pet loss support hotline
508-839-7966 6:00 PM - 9:00 p.m. EST Monday - Thursday during the academic year
Washington State University pet loss hotline
1-(866) 266-8635 or (509) 335-5704 7:00 -9:00 p.m. Monday-Thursday, and 1:00 -3:00 p.m. Saturday Pacific Time during the academic year.
E-mail
[email protected]
While school is not in session and during holidays we have abbreviated hours checking phone and email messages Monday-Thursday and Saturday once daily. All messages will be returned as soon as possible.
Note: most have additional weblinks and resources available
A short, non-copyrighted article from UC Davis Vet Med School here:
Loving Animals and Losing Them
For those of us who choose to share our lives with pets, at one time or another we will undoubtedly become emotionally attached to them. Even for people who share their lives with many animals, every so often an extra special one comes along.
When we must face the loss of an extraordinary animal companion, we may be shocked to find ourselves experiencing intense grief. It might even be worrisome to have such an overwhelming response to losing "just an animal."
You need to realize this is NOT "just an animal." This pet, for reasons perhaps known only to you, has managed to find a very special, unique place in your life and in your heart. Part of the sadness in losing such a pet is knowing that no other pet or person will ever fill that special place in quite the same way.
Reactions to Loss
First and foremost, GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to have a reaction, whatever it is. Know that grief can occur before, during and after the loss of a loved one. Grief also includes a wide range of reactions that are considered normal, such as feeling numb, irritability, crying spells, hallucinations, and feeling hopeless.
Every loss is unique and every person grieves differently - even when experiencing the loss of the same animal or person. It is normal for profound sadness and grief to last a few weeks to many months, lessening with time. Without proper care and attention, painful grief can last for years.
Recovery from Grief
If you have suffered painful losses before, you may know that no two losses are alike and losing loved ones does not get easier. If a loss of this magnitude is new to you, you may feel as though you will never get over it and that you will be suffering forever.
PEOPLE DO RECOVER from painful losses. The people who adjust to loss are those who experience their feelings about the loss and take one day at a time. Many eventually decide to bring another pet into their lives.
In every case, grief does not go away magically. Dealing with your loss and the passage of time are the two best healers.