The Gate Lice are coming... the GATE LICE are coming
Mar 16, 2015, 7:38 am
#1426
Suspended
Join Date: Jan 2015
Programs: Delta Turbo Diamond, Functioning Alcoholic, Hertz Pres Circle (When they have cars), Marriott Lifer
Posts: 171
So, they call they are boarding first class and premium. I am in First Class. After fighting my way through a 10 deep throng of gate blockers, I get to where I think is the end of the line for FC/Premium. This guy is moving with what appears to be the line of people boarding. There were people standing still on either side of the line eying their boarding passes as if looking at them hard enough would change their zone order. I ask him if he is in line and he says yes.
I fall in behind this guy. I heard the beeps of the boarding passes being scanned and the thank you's for being Diamond. I look down at my iPhone to finish reading the article about Putin being on the wrong end of a coup as we proceed towards the plane. I am maybe 10' from the BP scanner. All of a sudden, I note that the beeping noises have stopped. I look up in horror to see the gate agent grabbing the microphone to announce Sky. At this moment 40 budding Nastrodomi's converge in front of me, but not before the dude "in line" in front of me goes into beast mode and runs through the crowd like Marshawn did on the winning play of the Super Bowl... I mean... In any case, I get to wait for 40 more people to board. The physics of how that many people could materialize in front of me was as astounding as calling a pass play on the 1 yard line with the SuperBowl on the line with the best RB in the NFL as a decoy, but I digress.
So, I get to my FC seat, and fake FC line blocker is exit row bulkhead in EC. There is no room in the overheads in FC at this point. The FA puts my bag in the closet on the MD88.
As we get up in the air, FC line blocker runs a 4.3 40 to the FC head and opens the door at 10,001 feet. He avoids eye contact with me on the way back to his seat. I'm not pisssed off at him as the whole thing is comical to me and my look reflects that.
We finally land and he gets up 3 seconds before the plane fully stops and collects his computer case out of the overhead in row 10. Before I can even move, he is standing next to me collecting his giant roller bag directly over my head.
He gets off the plane, ahead of me, and that is the last I saw of him.
...this guy is being enabled by the poorly managed boarding process Delta allows by just plain not having a system to prevent this... Probably because they just don't care.
I fall in behind this guy. I heard the beeps of the boarding passes being scanned and the thank you's for being Diamond. I look down at my iPhone to finish reading the article about Putin being on the wrong end of a coup as we proceed towards the plane. I am maybe 10' from the BP scanner. All of a sudden, I note that the beeping noises have stopped. I look up in horror to see the gate agent grabbing the microphone to announce Sky. At this moment 40 budding Nastrodomi's converge in front of me, but not before the dude "in line" in front of me goes into beast mode and runs through the crowd like Marshawn did on the winning play of the Super Bowl... I mean... In any case, I get to wait for 40 more people to board. The physics of how that many people could materialize in front of me was as astounding as calling a pass play on the 1 yard line with the SuperBowl on the line with the best RB in the NFL as a decoy, but I digress.
So, I get to my FC seat, and fake FC line blocker is exit row bulkhead in EC. There is no room in the overheads in FC at this point. The FA puts my bag in the closet on the MD88.
As we get up in the air, FC line blocker runs a 4.3 40 to the FC head and opens the door at 10,001 feet. He avoids eye contact with me on the way back to his seat. I'm not pisssed off at him as the whole thing is comical to me and my look reflects that.
We finally land and he gets up 3 seconds before the plane fully stops and collects his computer case out of the overhead in row 10. Before I can even move, he is standing next to me collecting his giant roller bag directly over my head.
He gets off the plane, ahead of me, and that is the last I saw of him.
...this guy is being enabled by the poorly managed boarding process Delta allows by just plain not having a system to prevent this... Probably because they just don't care.
Mar 16, 2015, 8:04 am
#1427
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: yyz
Programs: Aeroplan
Posts: 424
So, they call they are boarding first class and premium. I am in First Class. After fighting my way through a 10 deep throng of gate blockers, I get to where I think is the end of the line for FC/Premium. This guy is moving with what appears to be the line of people boarding. There were people standing still on either side of the line eying their boarding passes as if looking at them hard enough would change their zone order. I ask him if he is in line and he says yes.
Mar 16, 2015, 8:33 am
#1428
Suspended
Join Date: Jan 2015
Programs: Delta Turbo Diamond, Functioning Alcoholic, Hertz Pres Circle (When they have cars), Marriott Lifer
Posts: 171
Mar 16, 2015, 8:51 am
#1429
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Boston MA
Programs: Delta Platinum, Delta Million Miler,Hilton Lifetime Diamond, Hertz Presidents Circle, Delta Sky Club
Posts: 663
Mar 16, 2015, 8:51 am
#1430
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: yyz
Programs: Aeroplan
Posts: 424
This problem isn't limited to Delta. Check out what's happening with AC's efforts to introduce zoned boarding. The only real solution is to not have anything that needs to be stored above when you travel and then you can board at your leisure and not worry about the masses. Travel used to be fun (and even relaxing). Not so much anymore.
Mar 16, 2015, 8:54 am
#1431
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: yyz
Programs: Aeroplan
Posts: 424
Mar 16, 2015, 8:58 am
#1432
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Boston MA
Programs: Delta Platinum, Delta Million Miler,Hilton Lifetime Diamond, Hertz Presidents Circle, Delta Sky Club
Posts: 663
True, and i understand your point but that makes the assumption that I'm in the wrong line. If I am in first then I'm not impeding anything I don't really have any reason to answer anyone behind me. For the record I get your point, but what if 5 people ask you that question? 10? That would get annoying really fast...
Mar 16, 2015, 10:20 am
#1433
Join Date: May 2010
Location: TPA
Programs: All The Programs
Posts: 2,207
True, and i understand your point but that makes the assumption that I'm in the wrong line. If I am in first then I'm not impeding anything I don't really have any reason to answer anyone behind me. For the record I get your point, but what if 5 people ask you that question? 10? That would get annoying really fast...
Mar 16, 2015, 10:27 am
#1434
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Boston MA
Programs: Delta Platinum, Delta Million Miler,Hilton Lifetime Diamond, Hertz Presidents Circle, Delta Sky Club
Posts: 663
But then there are people who should be in that position in line - what I'm saying is if I'm in line correctly then I'm going to get annoyed pretty fast when people behind me keep asking what cabin I'm sitting in and my answer is First. Quite frankly its not your business what cabin I'm in - if Delta wants to fix the problem and make folks wait (or send them to the back of the line) who try and board ahead of their Zone, that's fine. Or if a gate agent wants to walk around and 'patrol' the boarding area and ask people who are standing around potentially blocking the door, fine as well. As far as a random passenger asking - MYOB (mind your own business)
Mar 16, 2015, 10:30 am
#1435
Suspended
Join Date: Jan 2015
Programs: Delta Turbo Diamond, Functioning Alcoholic, Hertz Pres Circle (When they have cars), Marriott Lifer
Posts: 171
But then there are people who should be in that position in line - what I'm saying is if I'm in line correctly then I'm going to get annoyed pretty fast when people behind me keep asking what cabin I'm sitting in and my answer is First. Quite frankly its not your business what cabin I'm in - if Delta wants to fix the problem and make folks wait who try and board ahead of their Zone, that's fine. Or if a gate agent wants to walk around and 'patrol' the boarding area and ask people who are standing around potentially blocking the door, fine as well. As far as a random passenger asking - MYOB (mind your own business)
Mar 16, 2015, 10:33 am
#1436
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Boston MA
Programs: Delta Platinum, Delta Million Miler,Hilton Lifetime Diamond, Hertz Presidents Circle, Delta Sky Club
Posts: 663
Mar 16, 2015, 10:55 am
#1437
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: on the path to perdition
Programs: Delta, United
Posts: 4,786
Just say "Excuse me could I get by, my zone is boarding" then shuffle past them. If they are actually boarding they will say something. If they are gate lice they will say nothing.
Mar 16, 2015, 11:03 am
#1438
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: NYC
Programs: AADULtArer
Posts: 5,693
Sung to the tune of "I'm a girl watcher"
I'm a louse watcher
Gate louse watcher
Watch them block the aisle
My, my, my
I'm a louse watcher
The gate lice watcher
Here they all are now-
There's a louse I'm gonna meet
Because he's trying poach my seat
Overhead bins are full
My carryon went into the hold
Now I'm a louse also
I'm a louse also
Gonna block the aisle
Make the diamonds cry
Now I'm a louse also
I'm a louse also
Wishing I was sky-
I'm a louse watcher
Gate louse watcher
Watch them block the aisle
My, my, my
I'm a louse watcher
The gate lice watcher
Here they all are now-
There's a louse I'm gonna meet
Because he's trying poach my seat
Overhead bins are full
My carryon went into the hold
Now I'm a louse also
I'm a louse also
Gonna block the aisle
Make the diamonds cry
Now I'm a louse also
I'm a louse also
Wishing I was sky-
My runner up entry..' The Joker"
Some people call me Gate Louse
Some people call me Delta Medalli -UN
Some people call me CK...
But we are all righty righty righty here in Group one...
So, they call they are boarding first class and premium. I am in First Class. After fighting my way through a 10 deep throng of gate blockers, I get to where I think is the end of the line for FC/Premium. This guy is moving with what appears to be the line of people boarding. There were people standing still on either side of the line eying their boarding passes as if looking at them hard enough would change their zone order. I ask him if he is in line and he says yes.
I fall in behind this guy. I heard the beeps of the boarding passes being scanned and the thank you's for being Diamond. I look down at my iPhone to finish reading the article about Putin being on the wrong end of a coup as we proceed towards the plane. I am maybe 10' from the BP scanner. All of a sudden, I note that the beeping noises have stopped. I look up in horror to see the gate agent grabbing the microphone to announce Sky. At this moment 40 budding Nastrodomi's converge in front of me, but not before the dude "in line" in front of me goes into beast mode and runs through the crowd like Marshawn did on the winning play of the Super Bowl... I mean... In any case, I get to wait for 40 more people to board. The physics of how that many people could materialize in front of me was as astounding as calling a pass play on the 1 yard line with the SuperBowl on the line with the best RB in the NFL as a decoy, but I digress.
So, I get to my FC seat, and fake FC line blocker is exit row bulkhead in EC. There is no room in the overheads in FC at this point. The FA puts my bag in the closet on the MD88.
As we get up in the air, FC line blocker runs a 4.3 40 to the FC head and opens the door at 10,001 feet. He avoids eye contact with me on the way back to his seat. I'm not pisssed off at him as the whole thing is comical to me and my look reflects that.
We finally land and he gets up 3 seconds before the plane fully stops and collects his computer case out of the overhead in row 10. Before I can even move, he is standing next to me collecting his giant roller bag directly over my head.
He gets off the plane, ahead of me, and that is the last I saw of him.
...this guy is being enabled by the poorly managed boarding process Delta allows by just plain not having a system to prevent this... Probably because they just don't care.
I fall in behind this guy. I heard the beeps of the boarding passes being scanned and the thank you's for being Diamond. I look down at my iPhone to finish reading the article about Putin being on the wrong end of a coup as we proceed towards the plane. I am maybe 10' from the BP scanner. All of a sudden, I note that the beeping noises have stopped. I look up in horror to see the gate agent grabbing the microphone to announce Sky. At this moment 40 budding Nastrodomi's converge in front of me, but not before the dude "in line" in front of me goes into beast mode and runs through the crowd like Marshawn did on the winning play of the Super Bowl... I mean... In any case, I get to wait for 40 more people to board. The physics of how that many people could materialize in front of me was as astounding as calling a pass play on the 1 yard line with the SuperBowl on the line with the best RB in the NFL as a decoy, but I digress.
So, I get to my FC seat, and fake FC line blocker is exit row bulkhead in EC. There is no room in the overheads in FC at this point. The FA puts my bag in the closet on the MD88.
As we get up in the air, FC line blocker runs a 4.3 40 to the FC head and opens the door at 10,001 feet. He avoids eye contact with me on the way back to his seat. I'm not pisssed off at him as the whole thing is comical to me and my look reflects that.
We finally land and he gets up 3 seconds before the plane fully stops and collects his computer case out of the overhead in row 10. Before I can even move, he is standing next to me collecting his giant roller bag directly over my head.
He gets off the plane, ahead of me, and that is the last I saw of him.
...this guy is being enabled by the poorly managed boarding process Delta allows by just plain not having a system to prevent this... Probably because they just don't care.
Mar 16, 2015, 11:21 am
#1439
Suspended
Join Date: Jan 2015
Programs: Delta Turbo Diamond, Functioning Alcoholic, Hertz Pres Circle (When they have cars), Marriott Lifer
Posts: 171
Mar 16, 2015, 12:29 pm
#1440
Join Date: May 2004
Location: MSP
Programs: Delta PM
Posts: 215
How about "Is this the line for first class?"