dalehill

It doesn't upset me if people ask and I don't think it's rude to ask. I do think it's rude to not let it drop if it didn't go their way. A friend of mine once said to me, after I'd pressed her a number of times to let me take her picture before she left the west coast for good, "You've asked me and I've said no. I don't want my picture taken and I have a right to say no to that." She deftly changed the subject from all the reasons why she should let me take her picture to the fact that she had a right to say no. I could hardly argue that she did not have that right. I've borrowed that a number of times since then when people forget that others have rights too and I always think fondly of her.

leonidas

I have always agreed to seat swap requests, unless I am given a substantially worse seat. I move on with life. Some day, I might be in that same position, making that request.

[Comment deleted by moderator per rules.]

drewguy

It's not a good analogy anyhow - when you reserve at a restaurant you're asking for a "table for X". The restaurant then has the freedom to assign you to any of a number of tables that meet your requirements, and also are consistent with other needs, based all on the last minute.

United (and others) assign seats on a first come basis. It would only be analogous if when you booked you requested X seats together (and maybe could ask for a window or a group not near the galley) and then you were told where you're sitting when you arrive.

laxmillenial

Proudelitist

No, it's rude to even ask. Courtesy is taking the seat you are given, sitting down in it, and not bothering others. As flyertalk user Sarah2599 put it: "Even politely asking is intrusive and puts the other person in an awkward situation. I don’t want to be put in that situation, say no, and then have some psychopath stare me down for an entire flight. It’s inappropriate to force that position in the first place."

I don't want to hear from other pax at all if I can help it. I am settled. I have my bag stored. My ear buds are in. I am reading. I reserved that seat well in advance. For someone to disturb me to ask that I give them what I have is flat out rude. To presume I care about their problem is flat out rude. To ask me to have to gather my stuff and try to find what little bin space is left is rude. Requesting someone else's seat, regardless of how politely it is done, is an imposition to satisfy wants, not needs. It's no better than panhandling.

I don't care if it's like for like ( and anecdotally, it has never been even like for like. The closest I came was an offer for aisle to aisle..but seeing as the seat they were offering was next to a COS..and behind a toddler, it really wasn't). I still have to get up and move my stuff to accommodate grown adults who just don't want to sit apart. If there are kids involved, get the FA to make me move.

FlyfromDenver

Sounds good to me - so you wouldn't want anyone to help you no matter the circumstances, right ?

Proudelitist

Hyperbole.

It depends completely on the circumstances. And the circumstance of a flight doesn't live up to it.

WineCountryUA

Topic check

While FTers like to use analogies, let's return to the seat swap request while on UA flights discussion.
And remember it is fine to disagree but refrain from making personal comments or necessarily believing that everyone will come to the same point of view. None owns the only right answer.
Sometimes it is better to accept to disagree and move on.

WineCountryUA
UA coModerator

Loren Pechtel

Even without kids--my wife is simply too short to use the overheads. There's a lot less hassle if we are together.

Also, on TPACs we sit AB--she will turn at an angle so she's against the corner between the seat and the wall and put her legs on mine to sleep. That wouldn't work if it was anyone else there.

SkiAdcock

Bolding mine based on the first post quoted in this post. The irony

It's a simple ask. It's not panhandling for crikey's sake . If you don't want to move, then the answer is a simple no thank you. But it's not the end of the world/a major imposition for a simple ask. Geesh. I've been asked before many times. Sometimes I say yes, sometimes I say no (depends on seat, like to like swap, length of flight, attitude of person asking, etc). I do agree w/ others if the answer is no, don't badger the person. I think I've only asked 3 times in many years of flying & it wasn't because I hadn't planned properly but found out a close friend was on the flight when we ran into each other in the boarding area - my asks were like to like & if the person I asked had said no, I would have been fine w/ that. No muss, no fuss, no drama. When I'm asked by others there's usually no drama either. As I mentioned, sometimes I say yes; sometimes I say no. If I say no (getting back to thread title itself), no I don't feel like a jerk for saying no.

Cheers.

jp12687

Proudelitist

It's not that simple. It never is in the reality of the cabin compared to the theoretical of the internet . A simple no never gets a satisfied response. What you get instead is indignity, demanding an explanation, name calling, and being made into a bad guy. It is more polite to mind your own business and take what you are given then foist an awkward, unsolicited interaction upon someone who is in their rightful seat.

If you want to displace someone for your own wants, you are starting from a place of selfishness. You covet what someone else has, and probably selected and paid for.

Of course not. Nor would I think the lottery is a tax on stupidity if I won. But this has never happened to me, and with rare exceptions here and there, to anyone else.

Baze

Is that how you treat someone who asks you? I really don't get why you feel this way. Did you ask once and get treated like that so now you think no one should ever ask? I have never in my 20+ years of very frequent travel seen that done to anyone who asked someone or had it done to me or done it to anyone who asked. I am trying to understand why you have such disdain about this subject.

chavala

Baze

Guess I should make myself clearer, what I said pertains to me. Didn't mean to imply it never happens.