How do you handle a seat change request? {Archive}
Mar 1, 2018, 10:41 am
#511
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 57,628
Now, If I see that you've been separated from your kids or your spouse, I will often make the offer to move if the seat exchange isn't detrimental. You approach me first, you get a polite but firm no.
Mar 1, 2018, 10:53 am
#512
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: MFR
Programs: UA 1K 1.9MM, Hilton Gold, Marriott Gold
Posts: 2,885
It's not a good analogy anyhow - when you reserve at a restaurant you're asking for a "table for X". The restaurant then has the freedom to assign you to any of a number of tables that meet your requirements, and also are consistent with other needs, based all on the last minute.
United (and others) assign seats on a first come basis. It would only be analogous if when you booked you requested X seats together (and maybe could ask for a window or a group not near the galley) and then you were told where you're sitting when you arrive.
United (and others) assign seats on a first come basis. It would only be analogous if when you booked you requested X seats together (and maybe could ask for a window or a group not near the galley) and then you were told where you're sitting when you arrive.
Mar 1, 2018, 10:56 am
#513
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington, DC
Programs: UA 1K 1MM, AA, DL
Posts: 7,419
I have less sympathy for a restaurant customer asking to be seated at a table that's already occupied (unless there was some reservation for that specific table) than I do for someone asking an airplane passenger to move seats - for the reason I explained as to why the analogy is poor.
Mar 1, 2018, 10:58 am
#514
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington, DC
Programs: UA 1K 1MM, AA, DL
Posts: 7,419
FWIW, in reality I have sometimes made a request, but never been indignant when declined. I have received such requests, and when unwilling to accommodate have never had an explanation demanded.
Mar 1, 2018, 11:47 am
#515
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Houston
Programs: United 1K, Marriott Lifetime Platinum; Hyatt Diamond/GLOB
Posts: 738
I've certainly made the request to change seats a couple of dozen times in my flying career, but it always is to move you to what objectively is a better seat (sometimes swapping you a first class seat for an economy seat). I've never had the request turned down.
I've probably moved another couple dozen times after being asked. I don't really care if I'm in 3A or 3F. I'd rather not have a bulkhead, so I'll happily move from there as well. I'm not going to move to a significantly worse seat, but I'm not going to be bothered by the ask.
I've probably moved another couple dozen times after being asked. I don't really care if I'm in 3A or 3F. I'd rather not have a bulkhead, so I'll happily move from there as well. I'm not going to move to a significantly worse seat, but I'm not going to be bothered by the ask.
Mar 1, 2018, 11:52 am
#516
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: SAN
Programs: 1K (since 2008), *G (since 1990), 1MM
Posts: 3,220
....Writing this just now from 2A on DFW-ORD. The woman in front of me boarded early with her husband, before GS or military was called (does this mean non rev? Or just the biggest DYKWIA GS?). When the man who had a BP for 1A boarded, she TOLD him to sit in 3A.
He meekly complied. She is sooo lucky it wasn’t me.
In fact this happened on my LAX-KOA flight in January that when I got on the plane I found a girl of about 10 years of age sitting in my seat (1A). The FA says I hope you do not mind but she wanted a window seat and I knew you would not mind. Actually I did mind as if I wanted an aisle seat in FC I would have selected that when I purchased and paid for my FC seat. The FA then got into a debate that I was going to deny a small child my seat. I stood my ground. Now had they approached me and asked first I probably would have agreed but to sit the (unaccompanied?) child in my seat and expect me to move was not reasonable IMO. During the conversation the FA told the child to stay in the seat rather than move back to her seat in 1B. As it happened my friend had purchased an upgrade at the airport and got the window seat in row 5 so offered to swap with the child and sit in 1B. The FA said it would be more easier if I just sat in the aisle seat next to my friend and move the passenger currently in the aisle seat to 1B rather than move the child to row 5. No one asked the passenger in row 5 if he were happy to switch to row 1. I did stand my ground and the child sat in row 5 by the window. No I did not report the incident since I handled it to my satisfaction, and have learned some other tips from people on this thread. :-)
BTW - my friend and I had a great flight having a drink together during the flight, but we had been very willing not to sit together for the 5 hour flight and we were not going to ask people to move - we are adults and had met up in the AS lounge and were going to have a week in the island and she was originally in E+
Mar 1, 2018, 12:04 pm
#517
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: MFR
Programs: UA 1K 1.9MM, Hilton Gold, Marriott Gold
Posts: 2,885
I have less sympathy for a restaurant customer asking to be seated at a table that's already occupied (unless there was some reservation for that specific table) than I do for someone asking an airplane passenger to move seats - for the reason I explained as to why the analogy is poor.
Mar 1, 2018, 12:08 pm
#518
Join Date: Feb 2017
Programs: United Mileage Plus
Posts: 86
I was on an EWR-DEN flight last year where I was sitting in the Window seat right behind E+. The woman next to me was separated from her husband who was in the E+ row ahead. I could tell she was waiting for the person in the aisle seat to board the plane to ask if they would swap with her husband. Obviously I wasn't going to squander the opportunity and offered her my seat. Worked out swimmingly for me as I got to enjoy and aisle seat in E+.
I would never offer for a worse seat but in this case they were already looking to make the exchange.
To piggy-back on the discussion I would never ask to switch if I was offering a "worse" seat. If it was an even exchange or an upgrade for the other passenger I don't see the issue. If they say no, so be it, but never hurts to ask.
I would never offer for a worse seat but in this case they were already looking to make the exchange.
To piggy-back on the discussion I would never ask to switch if I was offering a "worse" seat. If it was an even exchange or an upgrade for the other passenger I don't see the issue. If they say no, so be it, but never hurts to ask.
Mar 1, 2018, 2:57 pm
#519
Join Date: Oct 2009
Programs: All of them, UA-Plat, 1MM*G
Posts: 881
In fact this happened on my LAX-KOA flight in January that when I got on the plane I found a girl of about 10 years of age sitting in my seat (1A). The FA says I hope you do not mind but she wanted a window seat and I knew you would not mind. Actually I did mind as if I wanted an aisle seat in FC I would have selected that when I purchased and paid for my FC seat. The FA then got into a debate that I was going to deny a small child my seat. I stood my ground. Now had they approached me and asked first I probably would have agreed but to sit the (unaccompanied?) child in my seat and expect me to move was not reasonable IMO.
While you certainly have the right to retain your original seat, I would hope that most people would choose differently. It is a gift to be helpful to others, even if you have to accept a little less comfort.
Mar 1, 2018, 3:26 pm
#520
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Los Angeles, California
Programs: United, American, Delta, Hyatt, Hilton, Hertz, Marriott
Posts: 14,807
So let me understand this. You had the opportunity to make a 10-year old unaccompanied minor happy by allowing her to sit in a window seat; and the opportunity to make a FA happy by allowing the unaccompanied minor to sit in Row 1 where it is far easier for the FA to keep tabs on her and to ensure that she doesn't receive inappropriate "attention" from the aisle seat occupant than would be the case if she sat in Row 5; and you decided that your preference for 1A over 1B was overriding.
While you certainly have the right to retain your original seat, I would hope that most people would choose differently. It is a gift to be helpful to others, even if you have to accept a little less comfort.
While you certainly have the right to retain your original seat, I would hope that most people would choose differently. It is a gift to be helpful to others, even if you have to accept a little less comfort.
Mar 1, 2018, 4:07 pm
#521
Join Date: Feb 2015
Programs: united
Posts: 1,636
No, it's rude to even ask. Courtesy is taking the seat you are given, sitting down in it, and not bothering others. As flyertalk user Sarah2599 put it: "Even politely asking is intrusive and puts the other person in an awkward situation. I don’t want to be put in that situation, say no, and then have some psychopath stare me down for an entire flight. It’s inappropriate to force that position in the first place."
I don't want to hear from other pax at all if I can help it. I am settled. I have my bag stored. My ear buds are in. I am reading. I reserved that seat well in advance. For someone to disturb me to ask that I give them what I have is flat out rude. To presume I care about their problem is flat out rude. To ask me to have to gather my stuff and try to find what little bin space is left is rude. Requesting someone else's seat, regardless of how politely it is done, is an imposition to satisfy wants, not needs. It's no better than panhandling.
I don't care if it's like for like ( and anecdotally, it has never been even like for like. The closest I came was an offer for aisle to aisle..but seeing as the seat they were offering was next to a COS..and behind a toddler, it really wasn't). I still have to get up and move my stuff to accommodate grown adults who just don't want to sit apart. If there are kids involved, get the FA to make me move.
I don't want to hear from other pax at all if I can help it. I am settled. I have my bag stored. My ear buds are in. I am reading. I reserved that seat well in advance. For someone to disturb me to ask that I give them what I have is flat out rude. To presume I care about their problem is flat out rude. To ask me to have to gather my stuff and try to find what little bin space is left is rude. Requesting someone else's seat, regardless of how politely it is done, is an imposition to satisfy wants, not needs. It's no better than panhandling.
I don't care if it's like for like ( and anecdotally, it has never been even like for like. The closest I came was an offer for aisle to aisle..but seeing as the seat they were offering was next to a COS..and behind a toddler, it really wasn't). I still have to get up and move my stuff to accommodate grown adults who just don't want to sit apart. If there are kids involved, get the FA to make me move.
It's not that simple. It never is in the reality of the cabin compared to the theoretical of the internet . A simple no never gets a satisfied response. What you get instead is indignity, demanding an explanation, name calling, and being made into a bad guy. It is more polite to mind your own business and take what you are given then foist an awkward, unsolicited interaction upon someone who is in their rightful seat.
If you want to displace someone for your own wants, you are starting from a place of selfishness. You covet what someone else has, and probably selected and paid for.
Of course not. Nor would I think the lottery is a tax on stupidity if I won. But this has never happened to me, and with rare exceptions here and there, to anyone else.
If you want to displace someone for your own wants, you are starting from a place of selfishness. You covet what someone else has, and probably selected and paid for.
Of course not. Nor would I think the lottery is a tax on stupidity if I won. But this has never happened to me, and with rare exceptions here and there, to anyone else.
Obviously there are situations that are compelling enough that an accomodation should be made. And its up to everyone to determine where that line should be drawn.
But a seat assignment isn't some sort of opening offer that you then go ahead and bother total strangers trying to improve. It's an assignment. You sit there. Leave other people alone. It is only a few hours.
Mar 1, 2018, 8:46 pm
#522
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: NorCal
Posts: 658
So let me understand this. You had the opportunity to make a 10-year old unaccompanied minor happy by allowing her to sit in a window seat; and the opportunity to make a FA happy by allowing the unaccompanied minor to sit in Row 1 where it is far easier for the FA to keep tabs on her and to ensure that she doesn't receive inappropriate "attention" from the aisle seat occupant than would be the case if she sat in Row 5; and you decided that your preference for 1A over 1B was overriding.
While you certainly have the right to retain your original seat, I would hope that most people would choose differently. It is a gift to be helpful to others, even if you have to accept a little less comfort.
While you certainly have the right to retain your original seat, I would hope that most people would choose differently. It is a gift to be helpful to others, even if you have to accept a little less comfort.
My gut says no, and that this is a kid who isn't hurting in the comfort department.
Mar 1, 2018, 8:59 pm
#523
Original Poster
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,116
It's not that simple. It never is in the reality of the cabin compared to the theoretical of the internet . A simple no never gets a satisfied response. What you get instead is indignity, demanding an explanation, name calling, and being made into a bad guy. It is more polite to mind your own business and take what you are given then foist an awkward, unsolicited interaction upon someone who is in their rightful seat.
If you want to displace someone for your own wants, you are starting from a place of selfishness. You covet what someone else has, and probably selected and paid for.
Of course not. Nor would I think the lottery is a tax on stupidity if I won. But this has never happened to me, and with rare exceptions here and there, to anyone else.
If you want to displace someone for your own wants, you are starting from a place of selfishness. You covet what someone else has, and probably selected and paid for.
Of course not. Nor would I think the lottery is a tax on stupidity if I won. But this has never happened to me, and with rare exceptions here and there, to anyone else.
but how woild you ever have he opportunity if no one asks?
i have done this 3 times myself when I’ve been upgraded and my wife hasn’t
So let me understand this. You had the opportunity to make a 10-year old unaccompanied minor happy by allowing her to sit in a window seat; and the opportunity to make a FA happy by allowing the unaccompanied minor to sit in Row 1 where it is far easier for the FA to keep tabs on her and to ensure that she doesn't receive inappropriate "attention" from the aisle seat occupant than would be the case if she sat in Row 5; and you decided that your preference for 1A over 1B was overriding.
While you certainly have the right to retain your original seat, I would hope that most people would choose differently. It is a gift to be helpful to others, even if you have to accept a little less comfort.
While you certainly have the right to retain your original seat, I would hope that most people would choose differently. It is a gift to be helpful to others, even if you have to accept a little less comfort.
Last edited by WineCountryUA; Mar 2, 2018 at 1:15 am Reason: merging consecutive posts by same member
Mar 1, 2018, 9:39 pm
#524
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Hiding under the trees in Denver, CO
Programs: UA 1K 2.5MM, Marriott Lifetime Titanium Elite, Hilton Diamond
Posts: 4,306
So let me understand this. You had the opportunity to make a 10-year old unaccompanied minor happy by allowing her to sit in a window seat; and the opportunity to make a FA happy by allowing the unaccompanied minor to sit in Row 1 where it is far easier for the FA to keep tabs on her and to ensure that she doesn't receive inappropriate "attention" from the aisle seat occupant than would be the case if she sat in Row 5; and you decided that your preference for 1A over 1B was overriding.
While you certainly have the right to retain your original seat, I would hope that most people would choose differently. It is a gift to be helpful to others, even if you have to accept a little less comfort.
While you certainly have the right to retain your original seat, I would hope that most people would choose differently. It is a gift to be helpful to others, even if you have to accept a little less comfort.
You appear to imply that Passenger 1A had a duty to sacrifice for a greater good in this situation. The use of the word "opportunity" here assumes the passenger with the original 1A seat assignment cared about the value ("it is a gift to be helpful to others") you've assigned to the opportunity. Clearly Passenger 1A did not -- and I wouldn't, either, if someone were to try to take something I had selected according to my own values.
You try to make it sound unreasonable that Passenger 1A would "decide that your preference was overriding". Yes, it was overriding -- The passenger had a reasonable expectation to sit in the seat that was reserved. The girl's and flight attendant's desires did not have higher importance in this decision.
The only "overriding" factor was that the FA could have used crewmember authority to move Passenger 1A to row 5. Instead, the FA argued with Passenger 1A, which certainly didn't contribute to the greater good. But the FA did not exercise crewmember authority, so it was not a factor that mattered. And how do you know the FA wanted to keep an eye on the girl? It sounds like you threw that in to increase the perceived heinousness of Passenger 1A's decision.
I do nice things for strangers all the time, but I don't agree that it's reasonable to accept "a little less comfort" just because someone else believes being helpful is a gift.
Last edited by Lori_Q; Mar 1, 2018 at 10:00 pm
Mar 1, 2018, 9:59 pm
#525
Moderator: Budget Travel forum & Credit Card Programs, FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: YYJ/YVR and back on Van Isle ....... for now
Programs: UA lifetime MM / *A Gold
Posts: 14,429
Oh great, I though, how could this possibly go wrong
Well, it didn't, they put 95% of adults to shame. Not just flying, PERIOD. Sadly, probably myself included
