For purposes of maintaining civility, we'll simply need to agree to disagree.

Nobody is suggesting that anybody is perfect. The tipping theatrics is a peculiarly American phenomena, whether for people visiting the US or for Americans visiting other countries. It's just not a problem anywhere else for 98% of the planet's population.

It's not an issue for me any more because I choose to spend my dollars in Asia, Europe or other places. The US is just too much trouble to bother with, and the medieval practice of tipping anything that moves is just one reason for this. In this thread we've seen that even people who live in the place can't agree on how the rules work.

I don't mind tipping in restaurants - I even do it sometimes here in NZ, where tipping is not part of our culture. And my only experience of aggressive tip-seeking occurred in Canada (from the taxi driver who could have killed us by falling asleep at the wheel).

But, I do get extremely wearied of the constant exhortations to tip in touristy places, such as HoHo buses, coach tours, the Everglades airboat in Florida (which even had a picture of an alligator, telling us "Don't forget to tip"). At times, I have felt like deducting 50 cents from the tip every time I hear "Don't forget to tip" repeated rote-fashion. It's even more annoying than "Have a nice day"!

or some unwanted and unmentionable addition to your food next time...

I am normally leave 15-20% if the service is good. However I will leave less if the service is just so-so and if the service is really bad do not hesitate to leave a note saying why I am leaving nothing.

Many years ago back when I was in college.... a couple of friends and I had horrible service at a pizza restaurant. The service was just awful. I left nothing and one of my friends decided to empty out her change purse with pennies and a couple of nickels. We left the restaurant and heard running steps behind us and as we turned around the waitress threw the change at us hitting one of my friends in the eye with a coin! I am guessing one of the nickels by the black eye she had the next day....

If this had happened to me, I would have marched right back into the restaurant, spoken to the manager and then, depending on the manager's reaction, possibly called the cops and had the waitress charged with assault.

I don't stiff the wait staff, but it's shocking that you think it's okay for them to do that.

That's actually got it's own thread discussing it

http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/dinin...-take-out.html

In the days of black and white TV or shortly after that, there was an episode of Adam 12 that I thought was one of the funniest I've ever seen, and still remember it (or something close to it). Reed and Malloy were I believe having breakfast or lunch at a diner when they were asked to deal with a homeless type guy who had come in and asked for a cup of hot water (free) into which he poured some ketchup to make Tomato soup. The restaurant wanted the guy arrested, but they asked if ketchup was free? Yes. Is hot water free? Yes. Then what is the problem?

On the way out, the waitress who made the stink collected the money, and asked them, one penny you call that a tip?

Reed looks at her and says "No Ma'am, I call that a hint" and they left.

Not really sure how on earth you are equating my mention of hotels leaving a begging request envelope for tipping the housekeeper with food service in a restaurant, but it if helps you make your point.......

No kidding! I have worked in the restaurant business, and not only have I *NEVER* tampered with anyone's food or drink, despite some shocking customers, I would fire anyone I caught doing so. The insinuation that most (or even just some) servers are that disgusting is incredibly insulting. Do accountants or lawyers who are treated poorly by their client smear bodily fluids on paperwork, or deliberately not wash their hands after using the loo if they are going to be shaking their clients hands, or doctors who are dealing with stroppy patients lick instruments before using them? No, they don't - expect the same professionalism from your server, don't assume they are some low-life who doesn't care about their job, just because you* don't. That isn't to say I would expect a warm welcome next time, my refills might come out a bit slower, but I'd still expect them to be professional, and my food sanitary.

* posters who think this, not the poster I quoted!

I actually NEVER said that it is okay for them to do that, and I don't believe that it is. But it is very common practice, and it would be naive to believe otherwise.

And the fact is, it is foolhardy to expect the same level of professionalism from a waiter who might earn $3 an hour, with an expectation of tripling or quadrupling that from gratuities which they then find that they did not receive from a particular customer, and a doctor who earns hundreds of dollars for performing a single patient procedure. No doubt many servers do not actually mistreat the food of poor tipping customers, but a very significant number DO do this. Claiming otherwise is either naive or misleading in the extreme.

Like they do in places the world over, you mean?

I've been thinking on this one. A bottle of wine in a regular mid- to high-end restaurant requires very little work - the glasses are already on the table, all they have to do it fetch the bottle, open it and pour. So the diner had 2 bottles of wine. Had the table been drinking e.g. Coke, the server would have had to place the order in the bar, collect drinks, bring them to the table, and then check for and replenish drinks as necessary. In most instances, people have refills on soft drinks (they may drink more wine, but that is chargable), so the workload for a Coke is greater than the wine. The Coke may cost $3, unlimited refills, the wine more like $60 for an inexpensive bottle at a mid- or high-end restaurant. Why would you tip $12 / bottle for the wine ($24), but only 60 cents for the one that requires more work? The more I think on this, the more drink tipping doesn't make sense. Maybe we should tip on the food, but accept that a $300 bottle of wine takes a similar amount of effort to the $3 Coke, and just not tip on the drink portion of a restaurant bill. Certainly in a bar, I was always told by US friends, $1 a drink is what you tip - maybe apply that if you are not comfortable with no tip.

It's because waiters are writing books saying they are spitting in people's food that people believe they are having their food spit on. If you want to blame somebody for spreading that information (true or not), blame the wait staff.

From the NY Post

STEVE Dublanica has swapped your decaf coffee for regular, "crop dusted" your table with his intestinal gas and called the cops on you after you got drunk and staggered out to your car.

Lesson No. 1: "Waiters can and do spit in people's food . . . I prefer more elegant methods of revenge."

Dublanica is a waiter. Actually, he's "The Waiter" behind the anonymous (until now) four-year-old blog Waiter Rant, and he's got a new book of the same name out in stores today chronicling his nine-year career waiting tables in the city's affluent suburbs (he won't divulge the true identity of "The Bistro"). Anthony Bourdain has called it "the front-of-the-house version of 'Kitchen Confidential,' " his stomach-churning restaurant expos� that changed the way New Yorkers ordered food.


Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/lifestyle/fo...#ixzz1urePvwo8

Of course he's also said he's never seen it done, but most people only remember him and others warning you they do it. Headline stories like this one don't help the issue either

From Fox South Carolina McDonald's employee arrested for allegedly spitting in tea