LET'S GET BACK ON TOPIC, BOYS AND GIRLS!

I find this a fascinating thread, as I have had the misfortune of being "gas laden" many times in flight. Here's my recommended protocol:

1. Let one rip, but as small and quiet as possible. The quiet part is a matter of technique - maybe some of you are experts, maybe some not. A noisy release, no matter how odorless, is not acceptable.
2. Wait to test the result and see how noxious this particular bout of intestinal pressure really is.
3. If it's akin to dead monkey butts, either get up and do it in the john, or hold your "tongue" until the flight is over.
4. If, however, you detect no discernable odor from your initial "air venture", continue with Steps 1 and 2 to your satisfaction.

My theory was that the padded seats often act as a sponge, unless your behind is not snugly situated.

Happy tooting.

The giggle/laugh factor is totally dependant on the audio value of the flatulence.

HE WHO SMELT IT..... DEALT IT

... have you been eating?

Two observations:
1) I recently sat behind a gent in F who had been op-up'd (said he: "Wow, first class is really classy!"). The FA dutifully loaded him up on bloody mary's and not soon after, my seat was overwhelmed with noxious fumes that TSA should ban. So beware of not only seatmates, but those in front of you.
2) As a gag Christmas gift, I recently purchase some of these cushions for family members. They report they are surprisingly effective. The could probably fit in the front slot of most roll-a-boards for easy use during a flight.
(I have no financial stake in the above-named product)

I want some of the Nether garments at the bottom of the page :0

Bob

YOu mean the "UNDER Dairiair�"

I had the misfortune once to travel from Paris to London on the Eurostar train with my mate. Basically, you would not want to have been sitting anywhere in Coach 9, the journey I endured possessed the most unrelenting releases of methane and sulphur, which wafted into the air-conditioned carriage every 10 minutes or so. I kept worrying that the train staff would smell the highly obnoxious fumes while serving dinner (thank goodness there weren't any other passengers in my coach). My senses were completely knocked out, faster than Tyson in one! Noise was not an issue, the releases were all muted, but then that's why they were akin to biological warfare. How anyone was able to sustain such practises on a 3hr journey I do not know! It don't stop once we arrived in London. He kept going in the taxi home. I can tell you my windows were fully wound down yet the stench was still overpowering. My mate likes his Doner Kebabs with hot chilli sauce....

This is quite interesting, I was going to post that yesterday in a flight from DTW-IAH I experienced something similar, but not from a fat guy, but some old man that couldn't control it.

3 times during the flight, and it was packed, so no chance to go and change seats

The movie "Ocean's Twelve" stunk, and so did the air

Maybe they should serve beano before each flight

I did NOT need to know that - LOL

Although on a serious note, human typically expell gas from thier bodies 12-14 times a day - someof those times are bound t happen on an airplane.

-Vincent

This has got to be the most hilarious thread I've seen yet on FT. And the folks on the DL forum were recently saying that other forums do not allow near the silliness and spontaneity expereinced on the DL forum.

That said, this is a real "hoot."

I can see the new CO pre-flight video now....

"..and in the unlikely event of a sudden decrease in cabin pressure, or in the more likely event of sudden increase in cabin farting, oxygen masks will drop down..."

By the way, I don't keep my seatbelt "...tight around my waist...". Keeping it a little loose allows me to lift so slightly to let the gas escape. Pretty gross, but effective!

OMG So I was sitting next to you on that flight? and you're why it smelled odd?

-Vincent

I can't believe someone dredged this stinker out once more...

This thread was just referenced in another thread on the Delta Forum so expect some more comments.
BTW, this has to be the funniest thread I've read on FT in a LONG time.
Someday I may grow up and not find this type of thread humorous.
But I sincerely hope not....