robtroxel

Another benefit of blue flame action is that you can see just how quickly that person ahead of you returns his seat to the upright position.^^

djerikd

As predicted, this thread made TalkMail! ^

enviroian

I remember last fall flying in F phx-sea (on US). The guy next to me rudely used the middle part of the two seats in front of us floor space for his bag so he could get all the legroom to himself. Cheeky ........ He was probably
5'5" too. I'm 6'1" and had my briefcase in front of my on the floor. Solution? I bombed that guy continuously for pretty much the entire duration of the flight.

I hope he had to throw away his clothes.

vsevolod4

This article http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNew...1228/20071228/ answers too many lingering questions.

So 10 to 20 farts per person per day, let's say an average of 15.

Let's say you're flying LAX to SYD on a 744; 371 pax and say 24 crew. 14:37 flight time. That's a total of 3389 farts, even before you take into account the effects of altitude.

Maybe we can figure out how to harness this energy? After all, tailwinds do increase speed and decrease fuel consumption ...

jason8612

What about something like this
http://cgi.ebay.com/Original-WWI-Uni...QQcmdZViewItem

Fredd

See post #59 above, he murmured modestly.

There's no way I could have sniffed out all those statistics like you have though. ^

stx00820

I can't help but think of this old joke...

TriscuiT

That brought tears to my eyes!

abraxis

Hilarious!!! WAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH

Thankfully I've never been victim to excessive farting on a flight while seated. But on some of my transpac flights, there would be people that would spend 20 minutes in the can and then leave regally, thus leaving a toxic cloud that would rival Hong Kong's bad air (imported from the mainland) in noxiousness...

And the mess that these people would leave!!

cepheid

As would the smell of Wiggums' seat cushion...

statesman

So, we've all been reading mostly about having to endure other people's terrible flatulence - but what if you are the one letting them rip, uncontrollably?

I recently did 2 *A RTW tickets in one month, the first flying west, the second flying east.

On one particular leg, SQ from SYD to SIN front row of business class in a 747-400, bottom deck, everything was going well - I was getting along famously with the passenger next to me, dinner was nice, settled down to watch a movie and sleep ... and then it struck.

First SBD ... well, could happen to anyone.

Second SBD ... ok, so I'm unlucky.

Third SBD ... this is not so pleasant any more, I am sitting in the window seat so I roll over to at least "direct" away from my new-yet-soon-to-be-ex-friend in the seat next to me.

Fourth SBD ... I am getting very embarrassed, I can hear the passenger next to me rolling over in discomfort, and I am sure those in the row behind as well. So, I get up and go to the lavatory, try to "go" (no help), jump up and down a few times to see if that will get rid of whatever is left (no help), give up and return to my seat ... just in time to release ...

Fifth SBD ... while standing facing my new-yet-soon-to-be-ex-friend, so it was directed into First Class. At this point, my new-yet-soon-to-be-ex-friend commented out loud (not in English, as we both speak Dutch) "Man, something really stinks terribly in First Class! The smell has been coming through for at least an hour now!". It's a rough translation; instead of "terribly" the world he actually used in Dutch is "vis", which comes from the word for "fish" - roughly approximating in one word that it smelled like filthy, rotting fish. He was right.

So, I was faced with a choice at this point - did I just agree with my fellow passenger and let him continue to blame first class, or do I confess?

Well, I agreed with him about the terrible smell .... and then confessed in the most polite Dutch I could muster that actually, I think (know!) it is me, and I am very sorry, it must be the meal not agreeing with me. He I think was a little surprised that I confessed, and very politely told me that his stomach had also been rumbling after the meal - whether truthfully or not I am not sure, but he was at least polite enough to commiserate, as I think he could see I was very embarassed.

I can't remember what the meal was that night, but clearly it hadn't agreed with me and I was paying the price - and clearly so were the passengers around me.

I spent the rest of the flight lying with my posterior facing the window, trying to constantly hold in whatever god-awful nuclear war was happening inside my stomach. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much.

Moral to the story?

Well ... I'm now quite scared of a repeat occurrence, particularly on long haul flights (FRA - SFO, SFO - SYD, etc), so until I figure out what caused it, here is what I am doing:

• I avoid the cheese and ice-cream, and any meals which might even cause the slightest hint of suspicion. I'd prefer to go a little hungry than have my stomach declare nuclear war (and fallout!) on my poor fellow passengers again.
• On UA flights, I always had the directable A/C blowing on me - now I definitely do that! (I wish other airlines had this option installed)
• I also bought some Gas-X on my last trip to the US, and I carry that in my on-board kit. I'm not sure if it helps or not, but at least I am trying to be prepared!!

Has anyone had similar problems? Anyone have strategies for avoiding gas on planes?

sam123

Hmm. Well, let's just say that my apologies go to pax in rows 9-11 on the UA19 tonight! At least they weren't SBD, silent - yes, deadly - no.

And No, the leather seats on p.s. planes don't absorb methane so well.

And No, I don't cop to it Never smelt it, never dealt it, right?

As for avoidance strategies, for me it seems just too random, I never know if a particular flight is going to be a problem or not. Some days have been spectacular tho, and not in a good way.

There, I feel better now.

jackal

Well, I've never had the experience you've had, but I have let a few silent-but-not-deadly ones out in my time. I try to release them slowly (less dense=hopefully less noticeable) and sort of lean back to direct the air flow from the air vent towards my lap and help disperse the cloud. (No idea if these work, but still...)

My theory is that air is moving from the front of the plane to the back (where the pressure release valves are), and the airflow is probably high enough to move the poisonous cloud back somewhat rapidly. The folks behind me (or even the guy next to me) has no idea if it's me or from someone else in the area (the guy on his other side--I'm typically in the window) or someone in front or behind, etc.

As such, while I've never had anyone mention anything (I don't usually put out the deadly type), if they did, I'd blame it on someone or something a row or two ahead. I'd certainly never admit to it!

Downunder girl

Well I am pretty sure the 747s that fly SYD-LAX/SFO DONT have such absorbent seats . There were some pretty foul smells coming from the UD C cabin on our way to LAX overnight . We couldnt quite identify the exact seat area as we were at the back of the cabin. Ugh When we landed mini DG got a few looks, being the only child on the UD, but she was not the culprit!

A little OT but I had the most horrific smelly flying experience on my recent MR to SIN on SQ! It was not flatulance (that would have been better, at least it doesnt continue without a break for the full 8 hrs of flying time)! I sat next to what I termed a "seat gorilla". He had the worst underarm body odour I have ever come across . I am yet to find the right place to post this awful experience! I termed him the 'gorilla' because he couldnt stay in his own space and encroached over me and my seat (he was making good headway to be a POS) for the whole trip with his foul smell attacking my nostrils for the entire journey (insert emoticon face with tears here ). When I find the appropriate place to post - I will supply more details. Needless to say even the excitement of travelling on the new A380 on the UD was not enough for me to get past that smell . I was close to being physically ill by the time we landed in SYD.

Dudemius

Corbomite seat liners. That's the solution to all this sneak farting. And if you happen to be an SF'er, well, end of story for you.