Funniest thing you have heard from customs upon reentering your home country?
Jun 22, 2013, 12:57 am
#106
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 2
Funniest thing you have heard from customs upon reentering your home country?
I went to India to attend my friend's wedding in india
flying from HKG to India , holding a UK passport, arrive Delhi custom.
Agent : why u use UK passport , you are not from UK
Me : I'm
Agent: you are Chinese, why you using UK passport ?
Me : Chinese people can't have UK passport, so now I'm speaking English to you with a British accent ? Is that a problem too ?
He just speechless and let me go
flying from HKG to India , holding a UK passport, arrive Delhi custom.
Agent : why u use UK passport , you are not from UK
Me : I'm
Agent: you are Chinese, why you using UK passport ?
Me : Chinese people can't have UK passport, so now I'm speaking English to you with a British accent ? Is that a problem too ?
He just speechless and let me go
Jun 22, 2013, 3:35 am
#107
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 12
Just to clarify, I actually thought it was nice that the customs officers weren't only polite but kind of showing that they were embarrassed about having to do these checks. I'm also neither Danish nor agreeing with this fear of refugees.
Jun 22, 2013, 4:02 am
#108
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Scotland - ABZ
Programs: Qantas LTG, BA-Blue, KLM -Gold, SAS - Silver
Posts: 2,057
you are wrong. Don't let it get to you and you'll do just fine
As a permanent resident foreigner in the UK I'm used to fairly easy entries at my home airport but sometimes I get a failed sergeant-major type at the bigger airports.
Coming in to LGW early one morning from BLQ, tired and hungover, I got a real jobsworth who began quizzing me more than usual. He eventually located my "leave to remain" stamp after ignoring the page I'd held open for him and flipping past it several times.
"So you live here?" he said "In what circumstances?"
I looked at him blankly and said the only thing I could think of "In a house"
"DON'T GET SMART WITH ME I CAN CALL SECURITY AND HAVE YOU DEPORTED!" was his diplomatic reply.
"No worries, bring it on mate" I thought, but said nothing, just stared at him.
Jun 22, 2013, 5:01 pm
#110
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Central AR
Programs: Skymiles, AAdvantage
Posts: 71
Coming back after a trip to the Caribbean when I was still a teenager.
Agent: "So you think that girl is cute" (Teenage girl was in front of us)
Me" "Uhhh..."
Agent: "I saw you looking at her"
Me: Still trying to figure out what to say "Yeah... Maybe"
Agent: "I can give you her number" Turns around and starts writing something
Agent: "Here you go" Hands me back my passport with an extra piece of paper.
I looked at the passport later and the piece of paper read "Got Ya : - ) Welcome Back"
Agent: "So you think that girl is cute" (Teenage girl was in front of us)
Me" "Uhhh..."
Agent: "I saw you looking at her"
Me: Still trying to figure out what to say "Yeah... Maybe"
Agent: "I can give you her number" Turns around and starts writing something
Agent: "Here you go" Hands me back my passport with an extra piece of paper.
I looked at the passport later and the piece of paper read "Got Ya : - ) Welcome Back"
Jun 22, 2013, 5:45 pm
#111
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Programs: United, Delta, AA, southwest
Posts: 150
Coming back after a trip to the Caribbean when I was still a teenager.
Agent: "So you think that girl is cute" (Teenage girl was in front of us)
Me" "Uhhh..."
Agent: "I saw you looking at her"
Me: Still trying to figure out what to say "Yeah... Maybe"
Agent: "I can give you her number" Turns around and starts writing something
Agent: "Here you go" Hands me back my passport with an extra piece of paper.
I looked at the passport later and the piece of paper read "Got Ya : - ) Welcome Back"
Agent: "So you think that girl is cute" (Teenage girl was in front of us)
Me" "Uhhh..."
Agent: "I saw you looking at her"
Me: Still trying to figure out what to say "Yeah... Maybe"
Agent: "I can give you her number" Turns around and starts writing something
Agent: "Here you go" Hands me back my passport with an extra piece of paper.
I looked at the passport later and the piece of paper read "Got Ya : - ) Welcome Back"
Jun 22, 2013, 8:47 pm
#112
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: New Zealand
Programs: NZ*S plus various hotel programs
Posts: 945
A few years ago I took the other half to Paris for the weekend, travelling from London on Eurostar. On returning I passed over our passports to the immigration officer, one a UK passport, the other a New Zealand one. Without looking at them he started to ask me questions:
Him: How long will you remain in the UK?
Me: As long as I like until I go on holiday again.
Him: Really? Now you don't plan to work during that time do you?
Me: Yes, I've work on Monday.
Him: Are you sure you're allowed to do that?
Me: Why shouldn't I?
Then I realised that he thought I was the New Zealander, so I suggested he have a look at the passport photos before denying me entry to the UK. He then saw the funny side.
Him: How long will you remain in the UK?
Me: As long as I like until I go on holiday again.
Him: Really? Now you don't plan to work during that time do you?
Me: Yes, I've work on Monday.
Him: Are you sure you're allowed to do that?
Me: Why shouldn't I?
Then I realised that he thought I was the New Zealander, so I suggested he have a look at the passport photos before denying me entry to the UK. He then saw the funny side.
Jun 23, 2013, 1:43 am
#113
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: in the vicinity of SFO
Programs: AA 2MM (LT-PLT, PPro for this year)
Posts: 19,781
This was the immigration officer, not the customs guy, but years ago before I had global entry, coming into someplace not in California (Dallas, I think) once I had the immigration officer get into a (not at all heated) argument with me about which side of the Bay my (present) home town is on. Shortened version of the exchange:
Him: Oh, I see you're from Foster City. I used to live near there; that's right across the bridge from San Mateo.
Me: No, San Mateo is right next door; both are on the West side of the bridge.
Him: No, that one's on the East side.
Me: Maybe you're thinking of Hayward?
Him: No, it's definitely San Mateo.
Me: Uh, OK, sir.
He passed me on, probably to the significant relief of whoever was stuck behind me in line. Either he was stubborn with a bad memory of geography (maybe he meant San Leandro, just a bit north of Hayward?) or it was the weirdest bit of SPOT ever.
Weird.
Amusingly, at the time I lived in Foster City and worked in San Mateo; a couple of years later I bought my house and now have the opposite commute. It's short bicycling or long walking distance either way from the cheap end of San Mateo where I live, definitely no bridge involved.
--
Not my home country, but for some reason, my wife got a bit of the third degree on leaving Switzerland. They'd done no passport checks on the train ride up from Italy, and I got passed through at immigration leaving ZRH no problem. She got held for about five minutes with questions at exit immigration, despite an Italian entry stamp less barely a week earlier. Then she got pulled again, and for longer, at the gate -- at a point where I'd already had my boarding pass scanned and was standing on the bridge.
Not sure what their expectations were of her, but her guess was that they thought she'd been in the country to work illegally. Doing what, as a married early-30s American woman with a US passport, I don't know. In any event, they let her go; left a much worse taste in my mouth about the Swiss than hers.
Him: Oh, I see you're from Foster City. I used to live near there; that's right across the bridge from San Mateo.
Me: No, San Mateo is right next door; both are on the West side of the bridge.
Him: No, that one's on the East side.
Me: Maybe you're thinking of Hayward?
Him: No, it's definitely San Mateo.
Me: Uh, OK, sir.
He passed me on, probably to the significant relief of whoever was stuck behind me in line. Either he was stubborn with a bad memory of geography (maybe he meant San Leandro, just a bit north of Hayward?) or it was the weirdest bit of SPOT ever.
Weird.
Amusingly, at the time I lived in Foster City and worked in San Mateo; a couple of years later I bought my house and now have the opposite commute. It's short bicycling or long walking distance either way from the cheap end of San Mateo where I live, definitely no bridge involved.
--
Not my home country, but for some reason, my wife got a bit of the third degree on leaving Switzerland. They'd done no passport checks on the train ride up from Italy, and I got passed through at immigration leaving ZRH no problem. She got held for about five minutes with questions at exit immigration, despite an Italian entry stamp less barely a week earlier. Then she got pulled again, and for longer, at the gate -- at a point where I'd already had my boarding pass scanned and was standing on the bridge.
Not sure what their expectations were of her, but her guess was that they thought she'd been in the country to work illegally. Doing what, as a married early-30s American woman with a US passport, I don't know. In any event, they let her go; left a much worse taste in my mouth about the Swiss than hers.
Last edited by nkedel; Jun 23, 2013 at 1:54 am
Jun 23, 2013, 2:24 am
#114
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: TLV
Programs: UA Platinum, Avis Chairman, Marriott Gold, Hilton Gold, GA Pilot
Posts: 3,225
JFK Customs agent: What was the purpose of your trip - business or pleasure?
Me: Business
Agent: What is your business?
Me: I'm an investment banker
Agent: (In hushed voice) Shhhh! don't tell anyone
Me: Business
Agent: What is your business?
Me: I'm an investment banker
Agent: (In hushed voice) Shhhh! don't tell anyone
Jun 23, 2013, 2:24 am
#115
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: back to my roots in Scotland!
Programs: Tamsin - what else is there to say?
Posts: 47,843
Fast forward a month. We've crossed over from Maine to Canada and are returning to Maine.
Agent: "Where have you come from?"
BF: "Canada"
Agent: "I know you've come from Canada.....where do you live?"
OK, wrong answer again.
Two weeks later, we go over to Campobello Island, which is Canadian. Coming back, we volunteer that we're from Florida and have been to Canada. Agent: "Sir, it's an island, we know where you've been."
Can't win.....
Agent: "Where have you come from?"
BF: "Canada"
Agent: "I know you've come from Canada.....where do you live?"
OK, wrong answer again.
Two weeks later, we go over to Campobello Island, which is Canadian. Coming back, we volunteer that we're from Florida and have been to Canada. Agent: "Sir, it's an island, we know where you've been."
Can't win.....
Not too much amusement for me. But flying LGW-EDI and got caught by an unexpected passport check just after security
Now, I'm on a domestic on an airline which doesn't require photo ID and I have someone from the Home Office holding me up demanding to see a passport without any apparent understanding that there are domestic pax in the same queue... HO: Passport please
Me: I'm flying to Edinburgh I don't have it with me
HO: <Pissed tone> Do you have any other photo ID?
Me: I have my MAFF ID card?
HO: <tones of scorn> What's MAFF?!
Me: <slowly and in equal tones of scorn> Oh it's the Ministry of Agriculture, Fish and Forestry...
And in my head I'm thinking "And I'm senior to you too". She did have the grace to look embarrassed as I spelled out the acronym of a major government department that she, as a civil servant, was evidently was not aware of.
Jun 23, 2013, 3:24 am
#116
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: TLV
Programs: UA Platinum, Avis Chairman, Marriott Gold, Hilton Gold, GA Pilot
Posts: 3,225
Another one - 20 years ago driving from Ottawa to California and crossing into Michigan:
Agent: Where are you coming from?
Me: Ottawa
Agent: Where are you going?
Me: California
Agent: Do you have any marijuana in the car?
Me: No! (thinking to myself - why would anyone bring marijuana from Ontario to California? Talk about bringing coals to Newcastle)
Agent: If I go and get the drug sniffing dogs will they think there's marijuana in the car?
Me: No
Agent: Are you sure?
Me: Go get the dogs
Agent: Welcome to the US and have a nice day.
Agent: Where are you coming from?
Me: Ottawa
Agent: Where are you going?
Me: California
Agent: Do you have any marijuana in the car?
Me: No! (thinking to myself - why would anyone bring marijuana from Ontario to California? Talk about bringing coals to Newcastle)
Agent: If I go and get the drug sniffing dogs will they think there's marijuana in the car?
Me: No
Agent: Are you sure?
Me: Go get the dogs
Agent: Welcome to the US and have a nice day.
Jun 23, 2013, 5:25 am
#117
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Munich, Germany
Programs: UA*S, TK*G, BA G
Posts: 361
Two stories come to mind.
When entering AMS from Germany, you technically don't have to go through customs - but they will still randomly pick some passengers.
Agent: "Are you bringing any drugs?"
Me (incredulously): "Why would I be bringing drugs INTO Amsterdam?!?"
Agent: "Ummmm.... that's actually a good point. Have a nice day."
The other exchange was far less pleasant and happened to a colleague I was travelling with. For context, he's a British citizen and this flight took place at SYD airport about a week after the UK beat Australia for the Ashes.
The agent kept asking my colleague (who was in line ahead of me) questions for a good ten minutes, which can be aggravating after such a long flight in coach.
Finally, this little gem happened:
Agent: "Have you ever been convicted of a crime?"
Colleague: "Why? Is it still necessary to get in here?"
As you can probably imagine, he was on the next flight back to Bangkok.
When entering AMS from Germany, you technically don't have to go through customs - but they will still randomly pick some passengers.
Agent: "Are you bringing any drugs?"
Me (incredulously): "Why would I be bringing drugs INTO Amsterdam?!?"
Agent: "Ummmm.... that's actually a good point. Have a nice day."
The other exchange was far less pleasant and happened to a colleague I was travelling with. For context, he's a British citizen and this flight took place at SYD airport about a week after the UK beat Australia for the Ashes.
The agent kept asking my colleague (who was in line ahead of me) questions for a good ten minutes, which can be aggravating after such a long flight in coach.
Finally, this little gem happened:
Agent: "Have you ever been convicted of a crime?"
Colleague: "Why? Is it still necessary to get in here?"
As you can probably imagine, he was on the next flight back to Bangkok.
Jun 23, 2013, 6:37 am
#118
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Scotland - ABZ
Programs: Qantas LTG, BA-Blue, KLM -Gold, SAS - Silver
Posts: 2,057
For context, he's a British citizen and this flight took place at SYD airport about a week after the UK beat Australia for the Ashes
Finally, this little gem happened
Jun 23, 2013, 7:58 am
#120
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Scotland - ABZ
Programs: Qantas LTG, BA-Blue, KLM -Gold, SAS - Silver
Posts: 2,057
I don't doubt you believe your friend's story about being refused entry to Australia for making a joke, so I'm not saying you fabricated a story that your friend told you this.
I just don't believe his story myself, and I've been hearing it with tediously few variations (but never any evidence) since I first arrived in the UK in 1979.
I just don't believe his story myself, and I've been hearing it with tediously few variations (but never any evidence) since I first arrived in the UK in 1979.