Funniest thing you have heard from customs upon reentering your home country?
Jul 31, 2012, 3:21 am
#31
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 819
Pre 9/11, when land border security was more casual, I was driving back to the US from Quebec. I came to a small border crossing in Vermont at around 3AM. Pulled up to see the lone customs and immigration officer asleep and snoring loudly. A gentle "hello" didn't rouse him from his slumber. Took a firm, "GOOD MORNING!!!!" before he snapped awake. Confused and panicked, he blurted out "where am I? who are you? what do you want? don't hurt me!" Once he got his wits about him he realized he was at work. Turned out to be a nice guy and I promised not to report him for being asleep.
Jul 31, 2012, 3:34 am
#32
Join Date: Mar 2007
Programs: QFF Gold, Flying Blue, Enrich
Posts: 5,366
Leaving Ho Chi Minh city some years ago when tourism was still reasonably new there, the official took my passport, glared at me, glared at my passport, glared menacingly at me, called a colleague over, pointed at me and roared with laughter: "Haha, funny funny haircut!" then let me through.
Last edited by BadgerBoi; Jul 31, 2012 at 4:03 am Reason: typo
Jul 31, 2012, 5:52 am
#35
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: London, England.
Programs: BA
Posts: 8,476
Not an international customs, but one of those similar agricultural inspection points on highways entering California where you're stopped and checked for fruit etc.
Back in my student days. Long distance Greyhound bus, middle of the night with us all asleep. Bus stops at the control, inspector gets on at the door and picks up the driver's PA microphone to deliver the following monotone :
"Hi folks, this is that stop entering California where I stand up here and say Who Has Any Fruit and nobody admits to any and on you go. Goodnight folks".
Back in my student days. Long distance Greyhound bus, middle of the night with us all asleep. Bus stops at the control, inspector gets on at the door and picks up the driver's PA microphone to deliver the following monotone :
"Hi folks, this is that stop entering California where I stand up here and say Who Has Any Fruit and nobody admits to any and on you go. Goodnight folks".
Jul 31, 2012, 7:45 am
#36
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: SEA
Programs: A3*G, AC, IHG Plat AMB
Posts: 1,604
Just recalled something from way back.
Entering AKL from SYD, after travelling down the coast a few weeks, we'd picked up a few souvenirs including a rather large coconut (plus husk, roughly rugby ball sized) my brother was taking home. As we were not particularly used to the quarantine process, we headed through the red lane and reported for inspection. Agent opens up bags and right on top is this massive coconut. Looks at my brother, almost surprised, and goes "Well you can't have THAT!". Brother picks up the coconut hands it right over and replies "Well here you go, then!". No further inspection and we were on the way, probably 20 minutes faster than the "nothing to declare" line.
The only lament was that we weren't aware of it a few weeks of carrying a large coconut around earlier.
Entering AKL from SYD, after travelling down the coast a few weeks, we'd picked up a few souvenirs including a rather large coconut (plus husk, roughly rugby ball sized) my brother was taking home. As we were not particularly used to the quarantine process, we headed through the red lane and reported for inspection. Agent opens up bags and right on top is this massive coconut. Looks at my brother, almost surprised, and goes "Well you can't have THAT!". Brother picks up the coconut hands it right over and replies "Well here you go, then!". No further inspection and we were on the way, probably 20 minutes faster than the "nothing to declare" line.
The only lament was that we weren't aware of it a few weeks of carrying a large coconut around earlier.
Jul 31, 2012, 8:12 am
#37
Original Member
Join Date: May 1998
Location: The shape-shifting urban sprawl that is El Lay. FT member #71.
Programs: UA Gold & MM; DL & AA credit card dirt status; Hilton Diamond; Marriott Fool's Gold
Posts: 4,690
Not funny per se... Returning from Europe at O'Hare (lines were huge), the officer asked what I did for a living. When I gave him a twenty second overview he initated an extended series of questions how to break into that business, once he retired. He was truly interested and I can tell had thought about it in the past.
This went on for about five minutes, before he profusely thanked me for the insight and I was on my way. Felt kind of bad that with the snaking lines, the agent's personal agenda caused delays for others.
This went on for about five minutes, before he profusely thanked me for the insight and I was on my way. Felt kind of bad that with the snaking lines, the agent's personal agenda caused delays for others.
Jul 31, 2012, 8:47 am
#38
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: United Arab Emirates & Arizona, USA
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Posts: 4,527
My countries visited included Afghanistan, and the agent asked, how's Afghanistan? I answered minimally, like "it's fine, I was there helping with the reconstruction." He said, "how are the girls?" "Great." He said, "I hear they have great beaches there."
I am not sure if he was (1) stupid, (2) just trying to be cute, (3) thinking that he was cleverly trying to catch me in a lie, as if I would have any reason to lie. (Maybe some combination of (1), and (2) or (3).)
I am not sure if he was (1) stupid, (2) just trying to be cute, (3) thinking that he was cleverly trying to catch me in a lie, as if I would have any reason to lie. (Maybe some combination of (1), and (2) or (3).)
Jul 31, 2012, 9:48 am
#39
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: London, England.
Programs: BA
Posts: 8,476
The background of the military has often, I feel, led to the attitudes shown in their new occupation.
Jul 31, 2012, 10:12 am
#40
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: PIT
Programs: UA GS, AA EXP, Amex Plat
Posts: 314
IAH immigration at 6am.
Officer: "Why were you arrested last time and when was that again?"
Me:
Silently trying to process what I had just heard for 30s without any caffeine in the system.
Officer: Bursts out in laughter "Welcome to the US!"
Me:
Officer: "Why were you arrested last time and when was that again?"
Me:
Silently trying to process what I had just heard for 30s without any caffeine in the system.Officer:
Bursts out in laughter "Welcome to the US!"Me:
Jul 31, 2012, 10:21 am
#41
Join Date: Jun 2010
Programs: Clubcarlson Gold, Hilton Diamond, IHG Spire AMB etc.
Posts: 252
When trying to enter Anguilla the officer flips through my passport and goes "you've been to ALL THAT, WHY??". When replied "I like going places" he stared at me with a "you are crazy" look. He was really perplexed by the polar bear stamp I got at Barentsburg.
Jul 31, 2012, 10:22 am
#42
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Earth. Residency:HKG formerly:YYZ
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My reply to the question was "this" and handed him my baggie of prescribed medications, OTC emergency meds for SE Asia and vitamins.
Jul 31, 2012, 10:29 am
#43
Join Date: May 2010
Programs: Delta Kryptonium
Posts: 1,144
Coming back from Toronto via Port Huron, MI (before we got Nexus/GE) and the CBP agent asks "who is the Lt. Governor of MI" - as I am rattling my brain my wife blurted out "John Cherry" & the agent waived us on.
Jul 31, 2012, 10:38 am
#44
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: NAP
Programs: LH, BA, TK
Posts: 2,409
Jul 31, 2012, 11:10 am
#45
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: ATL
Programs: Delta DM, 3M; AA, FB, UA some lower status
Posts: 394