Funniest thing you have heard from customs upon reentering your home country?
Jul 30, 2012, 7:02 pm
#16
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: on the path to perdition
Programs: Delta, United
Posts: 4,786
"Good for you"
The CBP agents response to when we came over to their station and told her that we had been on a farm during the Hoof and Mouth Disease outbreak. In previous trips the soles of all shoes had to cleaned before we could proceed.
The CBP agents response to when we came over to their station and told her that we had been on a farm during the Hoof and Mouth Disease outbreak. In previous trips the soles of all shoes had to cleaned before we could proceed.
Jul 30, 2012, 7:11 pm
#17
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: SJO
Programs: CO Gold
Posts: 1,229
these are the things that mark you for life (without disrespect to people who suffer great traumas etc all I want to say is....it changes your perception in life)
back in the 80s , import restrictions into CR were SEVERE as we just had a big economic meltdown and the goverment was strapped for cash everywhere
upon coming back from MEX we had lots of toys etc including a tiny plush toy (a parrot) .........the guy from customs tells my dad to open up the suitcase
he sees the parrots right on top......and says that his son would love it
my dad says "it belongs to my son"
guy says "I can have it ORRRRRRRRRR I will inspect all the other 6 suitcases" (we were a party of 4 , all suitcases had 'stuff' that could be taxed )
my dad gave the guy the plush toy.....................GOODBYE TUFFY I STILL REMEMBER YOU (darn government @#$@#!$@!#
)
I will NEVER bribe an officer.....arghhhhhhhhh give me Tuffy back!!!!
back in the 80s , import restrictions into CR were SEVERE as we just had a big economic meltdown and the goverment was strapped for cash everywhere
upon coming back from MEX we had lots of toys etc including a tiny plush toy (a parrot) .........the guy from customs tells my dad to open up the suitcase
he sees the parrots right on top......and says that his son would love it
my dad says "it belongs to my son"
guy says "I can have it ORRRRRRRRRR I will inspect all the other 6 suitcases" (we were a party of 4 , all suitcases had 'stuff' that could be taxed )
my dad gave the guy the plush toy.....................GOODBYE TUFFY I STILL REMEMBER YOU (darn government @#$@#!$@!#
)I will NEVER bribe an officer.....arghhhhhhhhh give me Tuffy back!!!!
Jul 30, 2012, 7:14 pm
#18
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: DAL
Posts: 268
Went to DTW with a friend from LAS that has the same first name as me. Went over the border to Windsor for the heck of it, lost some money at the casino and came back. CPB thought the whole situation was fishy. "You came from Vegas to gamble?" "No, we're staying in Detroit and just came over for a few hours." After explaining we flew up for a concert, "You both flew separately across the country to see a band I've never heard of?" Needless to say, we were "randomly selected" to have all of our bags and the rental car checked and have to answer 100 more questions to a new person. Welcome home to us!
Jul 30, 2012, 7:34 pm
#19
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder
Programs: AA Plat, CX Silver
Posts: 2,361
Coming back from Tokyo last year a few days after Fukushima:
"Why are you wearing a sports coat?"
Seriously, never seen a pax wearing a coat before?
And then I was also "selected" for secondary customs which spent several minutes questioning me about some Japanese candy I'd brought home.
Then another, earlier today after DOH-IAH: "Who paid for your trip?" I did you twit.
Just another day clearing immigration at IAH...
"Why are you wearing a sports coat?"
Seriously, never seen a pax wearing a coat before?
And then I was also "selected" for secondary customs which spent several minutes questioning me about some Japanese candy I'd brought home.
Then another, earlier today after DOH-IAH: "Who paid for your trip?" I did you twit.
Just another day clearing immigration at IAH...
Jul 30, 2012, 7:46 pm
#20
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Canberra, ACT, Australia
Programs: QP Life, AA Nothing, QF Bronze
Posts: 946
Jul 30, 2012, 8:37 pm
#22
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: SF
Programs: /usr/bin
Posts: 1,334
"What do you have for drugs?" upon returning from Costa Rica solo with just a backpack. My natural reaction was to laugh, which was met with "have a nice day"
I suppose if I did actually have drugs I would have been pretty nervous. Interesting tactic.
I suppose if I did actually have drugs I would have been pretty nervous. Interesting tactic.
Jul 30, 2012, 10:28 pm
#23
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: May 2002
Location: NYC, USA
Programs: AA EXP 3MM, Lifetime Platinum, Marriott Titanium, HH Gold
Posts: 10,968
Returning home to NYC via JFK, an immigration agent recently asked my wife and I, "Who married who?" After 3 seconds of confused hesitation, we responded almost simultaneously, "We married each other." The agent didn't seem too happy about the answer, but let us proceed. We are a mixed-race couple and share the same last name. Not sure exactly what he was expecting to hear...
It was probably the mixed-race thing. He probably was thinking to ask, "who was the foreign national who might have gained US residency/citizenship by virtue of this marriage?"
(They get paid to be suspicious about stuff. It's their job to make a snap decision as to who might be hiding something and might need further investigation.)
Jul 30, 2012, 10:37 pm
#24
Suspended
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Atherton, CA
Programs: UA 1K, AA EXP; Owner, Green Bay Packers
Posts: 21,690
Bright boy agent at SFO customs:
Welcome home to San Francisco, sir. Did you have a nice trip to Mexico?
Me:
Yes, I joined my parents there and had a wonderful time. They flew back to (Midwestern City) yesterday.
Bright boy, somewhat suspiciously: Well, why didn't you fly back with them...?
Me: Well, I live here, and they live in (Midwestern City).
Bright boy: But wouldn't you want to travel together...?
I'd say he was playing with about 48 cards.
Welcome home to San Francisco, sir. Did you have a nice trip to Mexico?
Me:
Yes, I joined my parents there and had a wonderful time. They flew back to (Midwestern City) yesterday.
Bright boy, somewhat suspiciously: Well, why didn't you fly back with them...?
Me: Well, I live here, and they live in (Midwestern City).
Bright boy: But wouldn't you want to travel together...?
I'd say he was playing with about 48 cards.
Jul 30, 2012, 10:42 pm
#25
Ambassador: LATAM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: PNA
Programs: BAEC Silver
Posts: 4,648
Americans have an unfair advantage in this thread.
Upon arrival at MIA
He: Where have you just arrived from?
Me: Colombia
He: What's the skiing like this time of year in Colombia?
Me: Hmmm
Me: Ummm
Me: Errr
Me: Seriously?
Upon arrival at MIA
He: Where have you just arrived from?
Me: Colombia
He: What's the skiing like this time of year in Colombia?
Me: Hmmm
Me: Ummm
Me: Errr
Me: Seriously?
Jul 30, 2012, 11:26 pm
#26
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 43
Going through US customs on my way home from my first trip to France at 19 years old, the customs official asked, "Are you traveling alone?" "Yes." "Oh, so you didn't go to France and find some French guy and marry him?" Without hesitation, I blurted out, "Dear God no, those people are freaking crazy!" (I had had a very bad introduction to the country). He stamped my passport and said, "Good. That's what the lady that came through here before you did. I think she's nuts."
Ironically, I did date a French guy a few years later. So I can now say with authority that yeah, that lady must have been nuts.
Ironically, I did date a French guy a few years later. So I can now say with authority that yeah, that lady must have been nuts.
Last edited by ofohsho; Aug 7, 2012 at 2:54 am
Jul 30, 2012, 11:30 pm
#27
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 43
Another favorite: At ZRH, a good-looking Swiss customs boy asked "Where are you flying to?" "Back to San Francisco." "So you live there?" "Yes." "Will you take me with you?" "Yes."
Still a little disappointed that he didn't join me.
Still a little disappointed that he didn't join me.
Last edited by ofohsho; Aug 7, 2012 at 2:55 am
Jul 31, 2012, 12:12 am
#28
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 94
On arrival at Brisbane in Australia.
Immigration Officer:
"Good morning sir, how are you" etc
"What country did you spend the most of your time in?"
Me: "Kuwait"
IO: "And you were travelling alone?"
Me: "Yes."
IO: "Why did you go to Kuwait?"
Me: "Tourism. Always thought it seemed interesting?"
IO: "And you're 18?"
Me: "Yes."
Single, 18 year old returning from the Middle East...not a good combination. Most thoroughly I've ever been searched.
Immigration Officer:
"Good morning sir, how are you" etc
"What country did you spend the most of your time in?"
Me: "Kuwait"
IO: "And you were travelling alone?"
Me: "Yes."
IO: "Why did you go to Kuwait?"
Me: "Tourism. Always thought it seemed interesting?"
IO: "And you're 18?"
Me: "Yes."
Single, 18 year old returning from the Middle East...not a good combination. Most thoroughly I've ever been searched.
Jul 31, 2012, 1:42 am
#29
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 819
Immigration officer at Frankfurt airport in transit from NRT to OSL started laughing about my surname for some reason. He said mr *my surname* and started laughing for a couple of seconds while scanning my passport.
Also another time in the first class terminal at FRA my personal assistent there insisted I showed my boarding pass to the immigration officer (outgoing Schengen passport control) in the basement before the car transfer out to the plane. I had packed my boarding pass in my backpack so the officer saw that I was busy trying to snatch out my boarding pass. Then the officer smiled and said I don't need your boarding pass, here is your passport (you deliver your passport upon entering the first class terminal for non Schengen flights) and enjoy your trip. My personal assistant was embarrassed and just showed the way out to the driver. No that was really not reentering, but rather exiting your own "passport free" zone...
Also another time in the first class terminal at FRA my personal assistent there insisted I showed my boarding pass to the immigration officer (outgoing Schengen passport control) in the basement before the car transfer out to the plane. I had packed my boarding pass in my backpack so the officer saw that I was busy trying to snatch out my boarding pass. Then the officer smiled and said I don't need your boarding pass, here is your passport (you deliver your passport upon entering the first class terminal for non Schengen flights) and enjoy your trip. My personal assistant was embarrassed and just showed the way out to the driver. No that was really not reentering, but rather exiting your own "passport free" zone...
Jul 31, 2012, 2:11 am
#30
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: SFO/SJC/SQL
Posts: 1,412
Pre 9/11, when land border security was more casual, I was driving back to the US from Quebec. I came to a small border crossing in Vermont at around 3AM. Pulled up to see the lone customs and immigration officer asleep and snoring loudly. A gentle "hello" didn't rouse him from his slumber. Took a firm, "GOOD MORNING!!!!" before he snapped awake. Confused and panicked, he blurted out "where am I? who are you? what do you want? don't hurt me!" Once he got his wits about him he realized he was at work. Turned out to be a nice guy and I promised not to report him for being asleep.