Yes the question was, in effect, 'would you take responsibility for the child'. You are presumming someone else to take responsibility for your pre-school child if a parent is not nearby.

Can your 4 yo manage an emergency if you are not adjacent? Can she understand the FA emergency instructions? Secure her oxygen mask by herself? Evacuate the plane? You cannot assist her if you are seating several rows away and properly buckled in your seat (as would be expected during the initial steps of an emergency plan)

Whether the child is old enough to fly unaccompanied would be the criteria to assess the need to deplane. By not securing adjacent seats in advance, you (the parent) have created a safety issue on the flight.

You can't always assume that people didn't plan and select seats together. I was on a flight a while ago that I had booked well in advance and had selected seats so that my 4 year old, my 2 year old and my wife were all together. I knew about the exit rules etc etc etc. I checked seat guru, and as far as I knew the seats I selected were fine for kids. Come check in time they inform me that kids can't seat BEHIND an exit row. We're suddenly all separated. Luckily it all worked out in the end.

I'm glad it worked out, but what would you have done if it hadn't? Losing pre-booked seating is commonplace and happens for a variety of reasons.

Not sure. I probably would have just asked whoever sat next to my four year old if they would be kind enough to hold his barf bag for him.

I think you have this confused a little. That is the airlines fault. You HAD the family together. But there are those that will select separate seats then DEMAND to be moved. Your beef is with the airline. If you had put the kids in separate seats, that is your issue. The airline changed you, take it up with them.

Also, two adults traveling together do not NEED to sit together. They may DESIRE/WANT to sit together. But, OP is right, you have been together all the time or you work together so have no reason to REQUIRE sitting together. Don't come on board and start demanding I MUST change because you WANT it and claim it is a need. For coworkers/bosses, it's ok to spend time apart. Then there is no work talk and a chance to have mine time to myself.

And if I were that person, I'd immediately summon the FA and explain that I'm not baby-sitting an airsick young child. Nothing personal, but I see this, essentially, as a threat, i.e. "Move, or else . . ."

If, when you arrived at the airport, you discovered that your seats had been changed, why wouldn't you raise he!! with airline and get what you need or, worst case, just take another flight? Back when I had a severe flying phobia, I wouldn't fly unless I had a window seat (looking out helped me). I was in a number of situations in which, due to equipment changes, late aircraft arrivals and cancellations, I wound up booked into something other than a window. I just took a later flight (in some cases, much later). It would never have occurred to me to say to a stranger who wouldn't switch seats, "Well, alright, but when I have a panic attack and start screaming, you're going to have calm me down." I would never try to make my problem a problem for someone else.

I'm sure you're a perfectly nice person, but I don't understand your thinking at all.

Family, with children, is a good reason to sit together. Two or three adults is absolutely not needed. When I travel with my GF, we tend to sit together. If I'm traveling with friends or co-workers, I don't think I've ever sat next to one of them. Not once.

Yes, but I feel the exact converse - I'm sure you're a perfectly nice person, but I don't understand your thinking at all.

If I arrive at 31A and there's someone sitting there, and they say "Do you mind moving to 29F so I can sit with my kid?" my response is "Sure, no problem." 30 seconds later I'm in 29F flipping through Hemispheres.

I simply don't understand why this is such a big deal. Life is too short, karma, blah blah blah etc.

Maybe it's a cultural thing - I'm Canadian, after all

That being said, no one has ever been rude to me about it, mostly they're pleading and hopeful, and as I've said many times before, it's no skin off my nose.

I probably would, too (I say, "probably" because I think it is a violation of seat-switching etiquette to sit in the requested seat before consent is given). However, my experience has always been, "My kid and I have to sit together, so you're going to have to take that middle seat back there.

I don't believe in karma, and I don't believe in being uncomfortable because someone else thinks their entitled to what doesn't belong to them.

Clearly, that explains it.

Our experiences have been diametrically opposed.

You are not the type of parent who concerns most of us. While you tried to do right, not everyone is as proactive. For example.....

This person doesn't accept responsiblity. He doesn't accept that he has options to 1) choose a flight that allows adjacent seat selection without extra fees, 2) pay the fee and sit together on the flight of their choosing, or 3) not fly until the child is older.

He consciously chooses to sit apart from his 4 yo and then blames everyone else for creating a safety issue. I suspect, this is a parent who won't be suckered into buying a car seat for his child either. The family should not only be deplaned, but someone should call child welfare before parental delusion of entitlement results in real harm to the child.

You've done about as fantastic of a job reading me as you did reading my post. Please re-read what I wrote and tell me how you came to any of your idiotic conclusions.

Not too long ago, one could buy a ticket to fly somewhere, bring a bag or two so that they would have clothes upon arrival, carry on a reasonable sized bag on the plane with them (granted on most airlines one can still do this) get a seat assignment, and get get a crappy high-fat, high-sodium meal; all included in the cost of their ticket. Now airlines charge extra for all of the above. When someone says "I'm not going to play the airline's game" and you wind up next to a hypothetical (not mine) 4 year-old next to you then your problem should be with the airline who has decided that an extra $25 in fees is worth more than the goodwill they lose by upsetting you and anyone else affected by a parent not being able to sit next to their young child.

Does the parent have a choice? Absolutely. Does the airline have a choice? Absolutely.

If I travel with a colleague I don't really care.

If I travel with my kids (2 and 6) obviously I'm going to make sure all of us are together.

If I travel with my wife, I'll upgrade her to first and I'll take economy! LOL

Terminator33, PTravel and others: Hi. I am reasonably new here, but not new to air travel.

1) T33 says, Take your young kids separated from the parents problem up with the airline, I'm not moving (so that parent can sit with kid).

2) PTravel says, I won't sit next to your young child sitting solo, I will call the FA / the cops / Supernanny.

If you won't move and you won't stay put, then what solution do you propose? I am perplexed.

PS I do realize there are at least two different people on this thread for whom being asked to switch seats is a sore point, so multiple possible answers.

PPS as a parent, the only time I get to pick a seat of my own preference (aisle, thanks) is when I am *not* traveling with my family, which is why I am

TheOfficeAdmin13B

As you say the airline charges for anything but an aisle seat in certain circumstances -so if the family travelling is declining to pay to get seats together then it becomes their fault. Those extra charges are a part of the cost of travelling as a family. When my son was younger sitting together was more or less essential as he has mild autism and in an emergency would be more prone to panic-so if needed I paid for us to sit together. (Realistically it was never an issue -he's a great flyer just sleeps, reads or watches movies he was better behaved than many adults -but I paid to ensure if the unusual happened we were covered (it never did but hey).

I did at times choose airlines that offered pre-allocated seats at no charge over those who charged -other times I chose the better schedule/routing and took the hit for seat charges -It's a part of the cost of travelling with your children. If parents don't want to pay it and think they can scam a swop onboard that's down to them but to then get huffy with those who say no is the height of entitlement attitude and I don't believe parents who have chosen purely on financial grounds not to ensure they have their preferred seating are entitled to my sympathy or willingness to take a less desirable seat to accommode their frugality.

I've been following this thread, and it seems that what was a pleasant discussion has turned into a heated debate involving personal attacks. Thus, I would like to chime in with my opinion

I am relatively young, and I remember the "not too long ago" time that you describe. I traveled often with my family, and rarely ever had to sit away from my parents. I remember the time when we didn't have to worry about bags, or not being seated together, etc. I know that that has now changed. The airline does have a choice, and they have made it. That said, I don't think it's an issue of "not playing the airline's game." The airline is a business, and we purchase a service from them. Airlines have many competitors, and some have different policies than others. If you want to use their service, I think you need to abide by their rules, however inconvenient. If not, then don't.

With the airlines' changes, my family and I have adjusted our travel patterns. We have consolidated our travel mostly on AA. My dad and I both have status, and issues of checked bag fees, seating assignments, etc. rarely cross our minds when flying. If people want to fly, they should adjust as well. Either fly enough to get status, pay for preferred seating, or use an airline like WN. If they don't, then they shouldn't complain about crappy seats, separated seats, etc. They should definitely not attempt to get other pax the move out of the seats that they paid for or earned the right to select. That said, in exigent circumstances, I am hoping that most people will be able to provide reasonable assistance.

djs, you started this thread. I will now offer you my opinion on your original question. My SO and I love each other, love spending time with each other, and don't foresee that to change even after many years have passed. Although it isn't as big of a deal for me to sit apart from her, I would prefer to sit together. We can lean on each other to sleep, we can talk, we can watch a movie together, etc. It is, however, a bigger deal for her. Recently, I asked her which scenario is worse: her sitting in business with in coach, or us sitting together in Y. Her response: "what's worse is when I don't get to sit next to you!" Which made me smile We usually fly coach, and she likes the window seat. And I like to make her happy, so I sometimes end up in a middle seat. While middle seats suck, it's not too bad when I am sitting next to my SO. I am fortunate enough to be able to sleep in a coach seat without reclining, so FAs don't have to bother me on landing, so a middle seat doesn't make a huge difference. However, if my SO isn't there, I will choose the seat that I prefer. If someone wants me to switch, he/she has about 30 seconds to make their case, plenty enough to say "Sorry, but I have such and such situation and I would like to sit next to my kid/SO for this reason. Would you mind switching?" In those cases I will use my discretion, and I am usually a nice person. But if the person is rude and demanding, I will respond coldly and shortly, that this is my seat, one that I am able to choose because of my status. And if you wanted seats next to your companion, you should've chose those seats, even if you had to pay extra. And if you did, and the airline switched you, you should take it up with them. With that, I have nothing more to discuss with you.

Ok, that ends my rant. That was much longer than I expected