No - the selfish one is the person with the entitlement mentality that expects others to do what the person asks. No one should have to justify staying in their seat. The [edited by Moderator] are the ones who make others announce their medical conditions just to satisfy them that they should be in their assigned seat!

Actually I have a story regarding that. I was flying LHR-ORD on a United 767-300ER and it was one of the first flights on the new upgraded configurations and the seat assignments became mucked up. So there was this guy and his wife became seperated with their group. Thankfully they did tell the GA & Flight Crew so once we got abroad they could sort it all out. They didn't poach any seats (I did move because it was a window and I didn't have to share it with my brother ) and they did ask with the help of the FA's. I have noticed people are more likely to help you if you ask instead of poaching seats.

Regarding seating companions I will say a few hours apart won't kill you. When I was studying abroad (It was a Faculty Lead Trip, there were 9 of us) I didn't mind not having a seat next to them since I had a window so a few hours won't kill you plus it was suppose to be an Over-Night Flight but that didn't happen (flew over greenland due to a Volcano) and out of the 9 of us only 7 of us ended up sleeping (myself and one other guy didn't.)

As someone already pointed out, usually the swaps are not equal - e.g., a window or aisle seat into a middle seat, or rows drastically far apart.

And I am surprised no one's mentioned this - if a passenger pays for a premium seat or has earned the seat selection by virtue of airline status, why on earth would they give that up so a couple or family can sit together? I'm actually not sure which is worse, asking an elite passenger who earned better seats to swap out of it to a regular seat, or asking someone who paid $50+ for a better seat to swap out of it to a worse seat.

I mean, your right to be a pain in the butt because you have kids definitely ends if it causes me a financial loss.

They're equally bad: the would-be swapper shouldn't be asking the E+ (or whatever it's called) passenger to trade back to E- to begin with. They should be offering their one E+ seat to someone in E-. The swappers should then take the worse seat.

There are some combinations that make this impossible - e.g., holding two middles at the very back of the plane. In that case, the passengers should invest in books, magazines, and mobile entertainment devices.

And if you absolutely have to sit together for some reason, the overall landscape in 2012 is actually better than ever for you. Why? Now many major airlines will sell premium seats to non-elites at a modest cost, and with reasonable planning those seats are frequently wide open even when the back of the plane is completely sold out. So you're better off now than a few years ago when the "buy up" option wasn't there...you'd just see a full seatmap and no choices.

And that can be told in the tone of how the person responds when asked. Body language says a lot as well. Now I know I cannot force anyone to change seats on the plane. Yes, technically it's your right to stay in that seat. And when I've been asked and have politely declined, I know that's within my right. If I ask someone to swap and their person is polite in their response, even without saying why, I can figure out they probably have a good reason for not wanting to switch. I don't need to ask for justitication. I'll accept the bad luck and see my companion when we arrive. But if the person's tone is rude or quick, I can probably figure out that their reason is nothing more than not wanting to be inconvenienced or to get some kick out out of being selfish.

And the same applies to those who are unwilling to move. They'll get there at the same time too! Seems they don't realize that though. Again, I can understand why people also DON'T want to swap seats. Not wanting to go to a middle seat from an aisle or window or not wanting to leave an exit row or bulkhead row. Medical conditions. Wanting to be more forward in the cabin knowing you have a tight connection at the other end. I get and understand all of these scenarios. But the feeling I'm getting on here is many of these people get a kick out of saying "No. Now go away." Maybe it's a "misery loves company" type deal. I mean think about it - someone asks you to swap so they can sit next to the person sitting next to you. You say no. Maybe you don't care, but do you think the person next to you is going to enjoy sitting next to you for the next few hours? You can try to apply logic to it all you want but it won't change human nature.

I could buy that argument for window seats and certain situations. As an aviation enthusiast, I love sitting by the wing to watch the flaps and such. I also pick certain sides of the aircraft to be able to watch the sunrise or sunset or see certain landmarks from the air as we're taking off or landing. So if someone didn't want to switch from a window to an aisle or from a window on one side of the plane to the other or in a way different location, I could buy that and accept it. But assuming a symetric cabin layout (equal number of seats on either side) an aisle seat's an aisle seat, hence why 22C is no different than 24C. The people who do it out of selfish reasons know who they are - heck, some of them have even admitted it on here, even if they haven't directly admitted "I'm a selfish person". Hey, if that's how you get your kicks in life, by denying something to others without reason and when it has no impact on you, then hey, whatever floats your boat.

I've been on both sides of this issue. I've been asked to swap and I've asked others to swap. I've been asked to swap seats before and have both accepted and denied. I've asked others to swap seats with both acception and rejection. I know how it works from both sides.

I've personally never experienced this one (being asked to give up my window/aisle to take a middle), but as I've pointed out, I can completely understand someone not swapping in that situation, and have never implied or said otherwise. I firmly believe in to get something, you have to give something of equal or greater value; in said case, you are not giving something of equal or greater value.

Sure they are. Of the dozen or so swaps I've been asked to do over the past few years, they've all been equal (I define moving two or three rows forwards or back as 'equal,' as is, in most cases, moving from the left window to the right window). I've never been asked to take a middle or move from E+ to E-.

Apparently I've had different experiences. The last one, as I just mentioned, was someone wanting me to swap my aisle seat for his middle seat. Before that, it was a family wanting to swap my PP seat for a regular seat 5+ rows back. Before that....

It's actually been mentioned SEVERAL times throughout this discussion - referencing giving up an E+ for a regular Economy seat. When I was asking "What makes 24C so much worse than 22C that you can't swap to allow a couple to sit together?" the assumption was that 22C and 24C were the same type of seat (both E+ or both regular Economy, neither an exit row). It's been a given from everyone throughout this thread that if asking someone to switch, you always offer up, not down, or at worst, an equal swap.

I've switched several times and usually will if all else is equal. I even switched once to what I perceived as a worse Biz class seat because the 10 yo who asked but very polite and obviously did not expect anything. But sometimes the way the person "asks" just makes me want to say no. If the request is rude or with a tone of "I expect you to move" or entitlement, it's not happening. And sometimes, I'm already sitting down and just exhausted after a long day of meetings and then rushing to the airport. I don't need any more excuse than I just don't want to move a single muscle again.

I do try to be nice but remember, you ARE asking a favor and sometimes I just don't want to. Other times, I've seen the new seatmate and don't want to sit next to them for whatever reason.

And when I do ask (which is rare but has happened), I'm always exceeding polite and don't expect anything.

Because you're of the opinion that one "type" of seat is as good as another, let me offer you a real-world example of a situation in which I refused to switch seats.

IIRC, it was a few years ago on a pmUA 767 in F. This was back when they had the CRT hanging from some rows, and as a result, those rows lacked air vents. Because I am always hot on planes, I learned to avoid sitting in those seats.

A gentlemen was travelling with his wife and asked me to switch with the row in front. I refused because the row lacked air vents, and I knew I wouldn't be as comfortable there. Fortunately, he was gracious, and found someone else willing to switch.

To the casual observer, they might not know/understand/agree about the difference the seat makes for my comfort; they might view one seat as good as another and believe I was being stubborn/insensitive/unreasonable.

It's certainly possible that some people who refuse to switch don't have a great reason for doing so, but you won't know their reasons and don't have the right to evaluate how reasonable they are. The best thing to do is to assume that they have their own reasons and accept their refusal graciously. Ask someone else to switch, or just sit apart for the next few hours.

That was your first problem. Flying United

And as I said in a previous reply, you can tell a lot from the tone of how the person responds. If the person politely declines, I'll (probably) assume they have a good reason to not want to switch. If their response is quick or rude or their body language gives a bad vibe in a "Why on earth would I do that? Now get out of here!" way or tone, no, while I still can't do anything about it, doesn't mean I can't think they're a jerk, and whether you refuse to see it or not, it's clear by a lot of the responses on here, people in a lot of situations respond with a no just for the sake of being a jerk.

I've sort of checked-out of this thread for a bit, but you raise a good point and I think I may have actually meant "need." I kind of zone out when I travel, and have only had flights of 7+ hours once in my life so I look at a flight as a short-term problem. If traveling with a companion, I will attempt to have us sit together (usually isle/isle) but it's not the end of the world if I don't. Once we are more than a few rows apart, we might as well be 15 rows apart and I won't make a fuss about it.

I can't tell those who want to spend as much time with their companion they are wrong, just as they can't tell me I am wrong for my view. Each of us has the view that is best for us. However there should be no expectation or demand put on someone to switch.

I can understand perfectly well when people WANT to sit together, be it because they want to chat, work on a project, plan their trip, like each others company or whatever. To many it is certainly comforting not to be alone in a situation that to them could seem somehow uncomfortable or even frightening. I don't mind a friendly request for a favor at all and will likely grant the favor if it has no substantial disadvantages for me or anyone else (e.g. if through my decision to change seats my former cute, young seat neighbor has a gross guy sitting next to her, I would certainly not want her to have to endure that - she'll be better off with me ).

But I don't understand to what great length some will go to get their way. In these cases the desire to sit together has become a need, as in neediness, dependency or insecurity. Often that goes along with an entitlement attitude.

On booking separate seats (aisle and window with center in the middle), I recognize that it is sometimes a successful strategy to end up with a free center seat.

Somewhat old-fashioned etiquette would give us a few pointers how the arrangement should be handled between a gentleman and a lady traveling together. First, the lady gets the seat she wants. If she wants the center seat, so be it, same for other seats. Second, if possible, the gentleman would then take a seat that allows for her to be shielded from other passengers, especially men. This is of course not entirely unselfishly chivalrous. So if the lady books an aisle, the man should in principle book the center. This will guarantee that there is no one else directly next to her.

The same applies for visits to the movie theatre or a real theatre/concert/opera. When you have two adjacent seats, which you can switch among yourselves easily, the gentleman will propose that his lady sit next to another lady rather than next to another man while seating himself next to another lady. Several obvious reasons: Assure that the other man doesn't hit on your woman, show that the only lady you want to sit next to is your own lady, avoid any potential jealousy from the companion of the lady you'd sit next to, give his lady more breathing room by placing her next to another lady.

Needless to say, these considerations are often trumped by assuring that the lady has a good view of the stage. If placing her next to another lady would mean that she sits behind a 7ft dude with a top-hat, she will certainly prefer to sit next to a man and behind a shorter person.

Old-fashioned considerations perhaps, but they have always been very well received whenever I had the honor of female companionship for a cultural event.

If somebody ever asked me to move to an inferior seat, I'd politely decline and even tell them why, so next time they know the implications of such a question (which they might have not know this time).

I once had someone poach my seat (he was seated there when I arrived), and I was already starting to be not happy. Well, he was very friendly and gave me his boarding pass for a business class seat. Nice free upgrade for me. And smart of him, because his lady certainly was pretty enough that I would have been delighted to be her seat neighbor.

Till

I've thought about this also, why be so desperate to sit next to each other and then say 10 words to each other on a flight. I joke to my girlfriend that is actually pleasant if they split us up!

Maybe that's the point for some people. You can sit next to someone you know in comfortable silence and not risk ending up next to someone who wants to talk nonstop while you would prefer to read or nap or whatever.

BTW: Welcome to Flyertalk!