This thread has been interesting discussion about a question that the OP didn't ask. The OP asked, "Why the need to sit together?", but most people seem to be answering the question, "Why the desire to sit together?"

It's obvious why most people would want to sit together, but other than to give care to a seatmate with special needs, it's still not clear to me why they need to -- especially to the point of seat poaching, getting the FA involved, or having such a sense of entitlement that they raise a fuss when they don't get their way.

1) If I'm flying with someone it means I enjoy their company. Odds are I will enjoy the company of my companion in close quarters more than the company of a random stranger.

2) If I'm flying with my GF we can put up the armrest if in coach and sleep much more comfortably next to each other rather than trying to avoid physical contact with a stranger. If in First I'd much rather have her climb over me to the restroom instead of some random dude. Or vice versa. Even if flying with a friend it's much more comfortable enjoying the flight not worrying so much about invading personal space and trying to share a tiny area.

My husband and I fly together probably 3 times a year at most so its part of the trip for us. I can completely understand if people fly a lot that its no great shakes but me I wouldn't be a happy cookie sat on my own.

On our first flight from Manchester to JFK we were split up but at check in they kindly bumped us into Business so we could sit together.

We both work full time and spend about 3 hours a day together so holidays are quite a treat for being together.

I also don't enjoy flying so I don't feel as bad holding/gripping my husband's hand as I would a stranger's on take off

On a flight from LGA to DFW. I was in the aisle seat. Went to the bathroom, when I came back a woman was in the middle seat.
There was a guy in the aisle in front of me. He turned around and asked "can we switch seats so I can sit next to my fiance"
I said "sure"
He said "i have the middle seat"
I said "middle seat on a 3plus hour flight? Sorry, maybe the other folks will switch"

"plus you are getting married, u will be together for the rest of ur lives, 4 hours apart is nothing, and might even be a good break from each other"

They didn't find my comment amusing, oh well

After a long time with no one asking, two weeks in a row I have been asked to swap my F aisle for an F window. The first time was a married couple; neither I or the other aisle was willing to switch, and they were okay with it. Today it was two female friends traveling together, and they were quite a bit more put out...."I don't understand it...don't you want to look out the window?". No, I don't. I just want to sit here and not be made to feel guilty because you can't sit with your friend. Of course, the other aisle also wouldn't switch!

Airlines 'playing chicken' with passengers

http://redtape.nbcnews.com/_news/201...h-your-kid-fee

Choice quotes:

"Generally, a combination of airline employee cajoling and passenger volunteers straightens out the mess"

"Flight attendants also are helpful in seating people together if they are aware that families need to sit together"

Not directed at you personally but based on the posts I'm seeing here, many people don't understand either the need nor the desire to sit together. And to them, the question should be asked - why do you sit next to your family, significant other, friends, etc. at all? Why do you sit by them at a restaurant? At a sporting event? In a movie theater? It has happened to me before where I was unable to sit next to my fiance on the plane. Last year my fiance and I were flying down to Florida for a long weekend. Since no two 757s on Delta has the same seating configuration, of course the 757 we were scheduled to get was "swapped" for another one with a different seating configuration and we found our seats moved around at check-in. My fiance and I were living in different states and didn't get to see each as often so yes, to us, those extra couples hours together on the plane during our weekend trip were a big deal.

Now yes, I fully agree that if you're going to swap with someone to sit next to a travel companion, the seat that you're giving up should be equal to or better than the seat you're going to be getting when you switch. Be polite and ASK, don't demand. That's a given. But if the seats are equal, why are people so hesitant and selfish to change? Is switching seats on an airplane really that big of a deal? In the case of where we asked someone to switch so my fiance and I could sit together, I had an aisle seat a few rows back, so the person we switched with was all too happy to give up his middle seat.

I've had it happen several times, especially on Delta MD-88s where the rows didn't align in the back up till recently, where someone would be in my seat instead of in the window seat one row in front or one row behind. As I was usually traveling alone I would just take their seat. Is it really worth making that person get up and move (and delaying the whole boarding process going on behind you) to make that person move to "their" seat? Apparently some on here would say "yes", as they make it seem like switching to seats on an airplane is the greatest inconvenience in their life.

It's not the greatest inconvenience, but when you are asked repeatedly because you look like an easy target it gets really annoying.

I understand why people want to sit together. If I'm traveling with my family, I'd prefer to sit with them. However, I will not ever understand why adults need to sit together. I understand why a parent and child need to sit together, but not adults. And I guess I don't understand why the want of one passenger trumps the want of another simply because they are traveling with another person.

You're not asked because you're an "easy target", you're asked because you're sitting next to someone that someone else would like or need to sit next to. I've been asked to switch a handful of times. A few times I declined, because the person asking me to switch was trying to downgrade me to a lesser seat, but otherwise it's not a hassle. Nothing was changed for me (I still ended up sitting next to a random stranger) but the person I swapped with was able to sit next to a companion.

It's not about "needs", it's about "wants". It's nice to sit next to my travel companion versus a stranger when traveling with said companion. Again, assuming the seat swap is for an equal or better seat, than other than the minor inconvenience of switching from one seat to another, nothing is lost for the person who switches seats, correct? You go from sitting next to one stranger to sitting next to another.

Exactly! I'm 6'4, my fiance is 5'1. When we fly together we usually put the armrest up and she allows me to stretch my legs into her seating area to make it more comfortable for me. I don't get to do that when I'm traveling next to a stranger or between two strangers.

I don't know if it's humorous or sad, but the attitude I'm getting from many on this thread is "I won't do anything nice for someone because even though I won't be worse off after the deal, I won't be happier out of the deal either, and therefore, I'm not going to do anything to make anyone happier."

I think the "easy target" is actually more accurate.

I fly alone 99% of the time. I'm younger and female and people assume I have kids and I'll feel sympathy for them. I look "nice". I'm sure I'm asked to move more than I would be asked if I was a grouchy looking middle aged man flying with his wife.

Not at all. I'm male, 45, 6'3, bearded, 250 pounds. Last week I (happily) moved from 10A to 12F so a dad could sit with mum & kid. Dad didn't know I was an 'easy target' until he asked.

Bonus was I wound up with an empty seat next to me, which I haven't had in 2+ years.

Maybe. But I tend to get walked all over in other parts of my life, so I must be doing something wrong because I'm always asked on an airplane as well. Heck, someone tried to switch with me last month because he didn't like the middle business class seat on a 12 hour flight. Didn't want to sit next to anyone, just wanted my aisle seat.

This is a general observation about this as well as people wanting to Swap seats in general as well as Seat Poachers;

Why is it you always want the person you are asking for the trade with to move farther back in the plane. Why dont you get the family member with the better seat selection to give that up so that way you are really offering something of value. But usually you want us to move to a middle near the back so you can sit next to your Wife, Daughter, Son, Girlfriend or whatever.

NO THANKS. I dont move unless it is a better seat for me or there is $$$ involved. Your Crisis does not make an emergency for me.

Also dont ask after the plane is nearlly full. I dont like to be seperated from my things in the overhead either & there is probably little to none space left.

I don't see too much of that going on here. As far as I can tell, anyone on here, including myself, that supports seat swapping says that part of the deal is giving the person who is being asked to swap with an equal or better seat.

Agreed. They don't know until they ask. For every "hard target middle aged grouchy looking man" who's willing to move, I'm sure there's a "easy target young 'nice' looking female" who will give more attitude than you'd ever want to know. As for me, a mid-20s male, I'm going to switch in most cases if I'm traveling alone. Heck, I've even offered to switch before being asked in some situations. I had D (aisle seat), person next to me E (middle) was traveling with the person in C (aisle). I recognized what was going on as they were taking their seats and immediately offered to swap so they could sit together. And you know what happended? Seat C and Seat D arrived in ATL at the same time! *Gasp*


It's amazing how obsessed so many on here are over a freakin' airplane seat. What makes 24C so much worse than 22C that you can't swap to allow a couple to sit together? Yea, I get that are a few exceptions. No, I wouldn't move from Row 15 to Row 36 on an MD-88, and if you're going to ask me to move from my aisle or window, you need to be asking me to go to another aisle or window seat. I also wouldn't move if I was in the Exit Row/Bulkhead/E+ to a regular seat, but in most cases I'm going to be willing to swap if asked.

And I also have to say I'm getting the impression that not only are some here just that selfish, but that one of the ways they get their jollies in life is when they get to say "No, I'm not going to switch". Internally they're going "Ha ha. Sucks for you! I have something you want and I'm not gonna let you have it. Power to me!" It is true that nothing out there says you have to switch. But that doesn't mean you're not a selfish [deleted by Moderator] if you don't switch without having a good reason not to. Forunately in most of the cases where I've asked someone to switch so I could sit by my travel companion, the other passengers have been more willing, so thankfully the attitude of most passengers out there is much different than the ratio of what I'm seeing on here.

I think this is the essence of the question that the OP asked. Again, I think people understand the desire to sit next to one's travel companion; what I don't understand is the need to do so, to the extent of poaching seats or guilting people to switch.

I understand that you think certain seats are as good as others. But people have their own reasons for preferring one seat to another, and that reason isn't any of your business. You're an adult -- if you can't sit next to your travel companion for a few hours, you'll survive just fine.

A quick summary (as I see the issue) is as follows:

(1) Don't poach seats. Sit in your original seat and ask someone to switch, offering them the better (in their opinion) seat, if possible. People respond much better to your taking something of theirs if you ask first!

(2) If the answer is "no," accept graciously, and apologize for the inconvenience. You aren't entitled to know/understand why they refuse to switch seats and don't have the right to make them feel guilty for doing so.

(3) If you can't sit next to your traveling companion, understand that you will both get there at the same time, you are both adults, and you will survive the ordeal. You'll likely be spending every waking/sleeping hour with your companion at your destination, so a few hours apart won't kill you.

At least, that's the way that I see it.