If it costs the employee money when I don't tip, that's all the more reason to tip little or nothing for bad service. I've been in situations where a bartender would clearly prefer to flirt with a group of men and ignore me and my gf (ie no menu, slow drinks, etc) because they represent a better tipping opportunity. Fine, but she's not coming out ahead in the long run. I also don't pay for things that don't involve a real service opportunity, like tipping when I pick up takeout, or when I have to pay before I can evaluate the service, like ordering coffee (and I usually get plain drip).

In cases where tipping is warranted I'm happy to tip. 15% pre tax for doing your job. 20% for doing it well (usually the case). More if you did something special like rush a meal as I'm on my way to the airport.

By the way, the reason I asked what I did above is because in many UA threads, you have (rightly) railed against employees who are unhappy with UA and put the customer in the line of fire of their unhappiness. In fact, I quote:But by your philosophy, if customers suffer, it is due to their own decisions to fly with an airline where (some number of) employees provide poor service; it's not the employees' problem. If it is unprofessional to allow customers to suffer due to an employee's grievance with the employer, why then is it perfectly acceptable to allow employees to suffer due to a customer's grievance with the employer?

In cases where the host also serves you directly, e.g. by taking your name for the waitlist, making sure you are seated on time and in order, walking you to your table, pulling out your chair, giving you menus, making sure you're familiar with the restaurant, etc... would you also tip them? In cases where the busser serves you directly, e.g. by clearing your dishes and/or de-crumbing your table between multiple courses, would you also tip them? In those cases, you receive direct service from more than one person - why should they not all get tips? It seems disingenuous to suggest that some servicepeople should get tips and others should not; either they all should, or they all should not.

(By the way, for the record: it may seem as if I am in support of tipping. I am not. I would love it if the "social requirement" of tipping were abolished, and things worked much the same as in Europe - with essentially only small change left to express gratitude. However, while tipping remains a custom, I disagree with making people who rely on tips suffer if I use their services, just because I disagree with the custom.)

In other words, "How can I make it possible for you to stiff the people you would otherwise share tips with, people who will make your job miserable if they catch wind of what you are doing? How can I ensure you will be the least liked waiter in the restaurant?"

Next, how do you plan on enforcing that once you leave the establishment? Ask for an accounting of the server's tip income and what they shared with other workers?

The host taking our name from a waiting list? What waiting list? When we make a reservation, we're not put on some waiting list. When we arrive at the time of the reservation, we expect to be seated momentarily. When the host takes us to our table, no, we don't tip. At places like Le Perigord the host (or as he calls himself, the captain) expects to be tipped. We went there once for a special occasion and never returned. Back to wait lists.... We don't go to restaurants to sit and wait for a table. If they don't take reservations and they're busy, we go someplace else. So I can't answer your question about waiting list tipping.

No. He's not paid to do things we request like waiters are.

That's not my problem...if they are being stiffed by their employer, that's THEIR problem. That said, if some busboy does something above and beyond his duties (like maybe gets us another waiter if the one we have is bad or does the work of the waiter because the waiter is somehow missing), then yes, I would tip him directly in cash.

For average service, I'll just tip based on what the bill says. I don't care how the money is divided. But on extraordinary service, you bet I'll do what I can to see that those who go above and beyond get paid for that service. ^

It's a pity....a bad experience with a waiter might cause us to tip either nothing or something like a nickel. The cooks and other staff might have done their jobs well but they won't get money because the server screwed it up. It's ridiculous that they should be punished for bad service perpetrated by others.

@analise
You are making no [deleted by moderator] sense. [Unduly personalized comment deleted by moderator.]
Queenofcoach has clearly (and accurately) outlined the tipping/tip-out system in the US. If you can’t get it or understand how tip outs ALSO benefit your server and eventually YOU (and other customers), then, well.. I dunno.

… and for the record, tip-outs and their %’s to other employees are dictated by the restaurant owner/proprietor.

I apologize for not being psychic and knowing that you always make reservations. That said... why not tip the host who takes your reservation information? After all, he/she is doing what you request.

Great, so now my dinner is ruined because my waiter is a lousy tipper. Not a problem in non-tipping countries. Also don't have to worry about vendettas from waiters who believe they have been poorly tipped by you previously and so will give you bad service going forward.

I have said several times that I don't really like the tipping culture. I wish it were different here in the US. It's nice to visit other countries where tipping is not such an issue.

However... that's the way it is here in the US. Don't like it? Don't travel to the US. If you are in the US, don't patronize establishments where tipping is customary and expected. Eat at home, buy fast food or take-out.

If you do decide to patronize establishments where tipping is customary and expected, then tip appropriately. If you don't tip appropriately, you will be called a Big Jerk by anyone who notices. If the service or food was really poor, ask to speak to the manager and tell that person, face-to-face, instead of just stiffing the tip.

That's just the way it is. Don't like it? Eat at home. If you are not in the US, don't come here. You are not particularly welcome if you act like a Big Jerk to American workers.

Not found at some fancy white table cloth place, but Friendly's comes to mind - at least that's how I think it was done there back on the 60's-70's when my high school friends would have been working there. Think along the lines of lunch counters; a place where one server takes your order, a different server delivers it, whoever passing by refills your coffee or water, and a 4th individual cashiers. Truly a team effort.

Exactly my point. All the restaurant staff, servers, bussers, food runners, cooks, restroom cleaners, everyone works together to provide you with a pleasant experience. If one screws up, all suffer. If they all do well, they all partake in the tip.

It's called TEAMWORK.

You have a nice evening out to eat when all team members pull together to do a good job for you.

Exactly. You posted just before I did.

this thread also brings me to another question

why is it expected to tip on take out, to go orders at places like

chilji's to go type places etc??

I'm not a fan of tipping, but since it's expected in the US I try and remember to tip.

However, I'm still very unsure of what is owed to whom.

What I find especially confusing is situations where a service charge has been added to the bill. Do you tip? Is that the tip? Do you tip a little but not as much as if it hadn't been added?

the moment i see one added to the bill, that would be the max i'd ever pay, if anything I go downward based on service.. i can't say i've ever even considered adding to the service charge ( I presume you mean tip)

the most obnoxious thing ever is a second line to add more

I don't tip on take-out.

If the place delivers to my home, I tip the delivery person.