Eh, that happens from time to time already.

Answer every question with a question.

Above all, try to slow down the security line as much as possible.
Your fellow traveller behind you won't care: after all you are protecting their civil liberties as well.

Great ideas so far, keep 'em coming.

I think I may print up a copy of the poorly redacted SOP to place in my carry on. Are the TSA copies stapled, stitched or three ring bound? I will use the copy that had the SSI restrictions removed by the TSA.

I will be emptying my wallet of everything but my DL, insurance card and a single sheet of paper folded once, fold side on top, so there will be no pretending it may contain a weapon. On the paper I will have printed something to this effect. "Thank you for overstepping your administrative search for weapons, explosive and incidaries and violating my Constitutional rights. Please summon your supervisor and the FSD I wish to file a complaint." (I need to have the FSD's name and number, I should be flying out of MCO)

I think I will place multiple sealed envelopes in my carry on with a single sheet of paper in each of them stating the same thing.

If the TSOs follow the rules there should be no slowdown except to get my autograph. I will try to write fast.

Not the kind of sex noise I make.... "Effie, hide the kids the neighbors are at it again."

Ha ha, I wish you would come through sfo at international to meet ya. You sound like fun =D

I would be afraid I would be picked up by the Fashion Police. (old Eddie Murphy routine)

You could look for a BDO acting suspicious like...you know staring at people, kinda, you know, snooping around emergency doors in the gate area, staring at passengers, looking at peoples bags like they might try to plant something in them. Then call the cops and report the suspicious behavior. Anonymously.

Just start snapping pictures. That'll get them every time.

As far as your wallet goes, it shouldn't be searched, as long as you don't alarm the wtmd. Or if you do alarm, and then the back pocket alarms the hhmd, the wallet will have to be screened. If you request a fbpd, and skip the wtmd, your wallet will have to go through the x-ray.

Other than that know that's it's easy to pick a fight at the airport. I have seen both TSOs and passengers both do this. An honest question, do you want a fight with a TSO, where you can elevate it to an STSO (of course I don't mean. Physical fight)?

On the other hand, it's easy to jab at the random TSOs - you will liekly get the response you want, and write it on your blog

ok here is my best idea to have fun:

put a big bottle of water in Your carry on. Rub brown shoe polish on a few pair of white underware. Wrap the stained underpants around the bottle. And then have fun!!

I plan on having my daughter take pictures as I am going through. I would not suggest trying to take her camera as her 12 year old brother is 5'8", 198lbs and is very protective of his sister. I would have to rescue a TSO.

This is MCO I am sure they have tourist take pictures all the time so they most likely would not notice.

get some folders and label them top secret....put some hidden tamper seals on them.

get a large sum of stage/fake money and put visible tamper seals on it...in your checked luggage.

heck put tamper seals on everything! Would be nice to see what they open.
http://www.americancasting.com/info-...ity-01-TOC.asp

put ink/dye in your previously mentioned envelopes

put a running audio recorder in your checked luggage

Well, in my opinion liquids is where its at. You can't beat liquids. They are the ultimate weapon in distracting TSO's and allowing stuff you really should not be taking on board an aircraft from passing through the checkpoint.

So, pass about seven quart sized baggies through the x-ray, each containing one or two legal sized liquids. One or two should hold empty legal sized liquid containers. When asked if "all these bags are yours", state that you personally take aviation security very seriously and that this is one way to make sure liquids that could interact with one another are stored safely. Just for good measure, insist that they swab and analyze a sample of each of your liquids. If they refuse, ask for their supervisor and complain that they are not taking their jobs seriously and that your old man fought in World War who a toss, and he didn't fight Jerry to watch these slackers make a joke of airport security. When they are done, pull out an unopened plastic bottle of a soft drink from your pant pocket and ask for it to be swabbed too.

Two words: used condoms

Ciao,
FH

Ewwww.

What I want is to provide the bad TSOs every opportunity to overstep their bounds. As long as they play right there would be no fight. Would that be provoking them, I don't think so.

The Trollkiller shirt is because I promised I would wear it the next time I flew so my "fans" would know it is me.

If I get a pat down I will be goofing on the poor soul that has to do it. This is just my way, try to get a laugh. Don't be surprised if I ask them to scratch my back. Just so they don't feel special I also goof on my Doctor when he has to give me the ol' hidee-ho treatment.

Florida is an all party consent State so a recorder could get me in trouble.

I like the tamper seals and top secret folders.