Jul 14, 2015, 2:48 pm
Last edit by: BadgerBoi
The Definitive Guide to Seat Poaching
1. Don't do it.
2. Alternatively to #1: Asking politely (and not demanding) to swap for an equal or better seat is acceptable by most (but the final decision always lays with the original seat holder)...but, be warned, some FT'ers may breathe fire at you.
3. Keep in mind that Point 2 is not seat poaching.
1. Don't do it.
2. Alternatively to #1: Asking politely (and not demanding) to swap for an equal or better seat is acceptable by most (but the final decision always lays with the original seat holder)...but, be warned, some FT'ers may breathe fire at you.
3. Keep in mind that Point 2 is not seat poaching.
Seat Swapping, Seat Poaching and Seating Etiquette: The Definitive Thread
Sep 20, 2017, 1:06 pm
#1321
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: RDU
Posts: 5,245
Finally, someone admits the truth about what the anti-seat swap crowd really thinks. It's not about someone else getting to decide what is an equal swap; indeed, the rest of us have acknowledged (many, many, many times) that no one but the seat holder is entitled to evaluate the comparative worth of the seats. It's not about the rare situations where someone is rude; indeed, everyone knows that rude people are going to try to impose on you no matter what. Instead, finally, we received an admission that it's actually about not wanting to deal with a "few seconds" of "burden and undue social pressure" from being asked politely.
I applaud you for your honesty. Of course, most of us already knew this was the real reason. When others kept raising the same straw man over, and over, and over again, it became apparent they were merely trying to deflect the debate away from the real issue. However, even though I respect your honesty, I think you're opinion is unreasonable. In my experience, very few think a polite request is out of bounds, and many of us grant those requests if they aren't much of an imposition. As a result, you're going to keep getting requests whether you like them or not.
I applaud you for your honesty. Of course, most of us already knew this was the real reason. When others kept raising the same straw man over, and over, and over again, it became apparent they were merely trying to deflect the debate away from the real issue. However, even though I respect your honesty, I think you're opinion is unreasonable. In my experience, very few think a polite request is out of bounds, and many of us grant those requests if they aren't much of an imposition. As a result, you're going to keep getting requests whether you like them or not.
But since you are so agreeable, good for you.
Sep 20, 2017, 1:14 pm
#1322
Suspended
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: MEM
Programs: Starbucks Green Card
Posts: 5,431
If you're that uptight about being "bothered" (which I agree is your right), consider buying a hat that says "DONT ASK ME TO SWAP SEATS" in big flashing letters.
Sep 20, 2017, 1:20 pm
#1323
Moderator: Hyatt; FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: WAS
Programs: :rolleyes:, DL DM, Mlife Plat, Caesars Diam, Marriott Tit, UA Gold, Hyatt Glob, invol FT beta tester
Posts: 18,947
However I also realize that going out in public necessarily involves sometimes coming in proximity with other people, which means that from time to time my desire not to be bothered cannot be satisfied. Somehow I manage not to lose my ---- over this.
Sep 20, 2017, 1:28 pm
#1324
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Atlanta
Programs: Delta Diamond; HHonors Diamond
Posts: 655
We not only disagree, but I also think it's sad that you and a few others think a mere polite request is a such a terrible imposition. Then again, when someone asks, it upsets you, not me. So it's no skin off my nose if you want to be annoyed by every tiny perceived slight. Like I said before, the requests aren't going to stop because very few think that a mere polite request is inappropriate. Enjoy.
Sep 20, 2017, 1:40 pm
#1325
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: RDU
Posts: 5,245
I agree 100% with both of these statements.
However I also realize that going out in public necessarily involves sometimes coming in proximity with other people, which means that from time to time my desire not to be bothered cannot be satisfied. Somehow I manage not to lose my ---- over this.
However I also realize that going out in public necessarily involves sometimes coming in proximity with other people, which means that from time to time my desire not to be bothered cannot be satisfied. Somehow I manage not to lose my ---- over this.
Sep 20, 2017, 1:44 pm
#1326
Moderator: Hyatt; FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: WAS
Programs: :rolleyes:, DL DM, Mlife Plat, Caesars Diam, Marriott Tit, UA Gold, Hyatt Glob, invol FT beta tester
Posts: 18,947
Sep 20, 2017, 1:52 pm
#1327
Moderator: Hyatt; FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: WAS
Programs: :rolleyes:, DL DM, Mlife Plat, Caesars Diam, Marriott Tit, UA Gold, Hyatt Glob, invol FT beta tester
Posts: 18,947
... I mean I would think most people would say they don't like being bothered (can't imagine who would).
But if someone can't even tolerate the possibility of being bothered, then going out in public may not be for them.
If they can tolerate the possibility of occasionally being bothered, then they probably aren't posting long justifications for why it is unreasonable ever to be bothered.
If they just want to vent and let off steam about this time someone bothered them, that's cool, I do that too, but what's going on in this thread (lately) seems beyond that.
But if someone can't even tolerate the possibility of being bothered, then going out in public may not be for them.
If they can tolerate the possibility of occasionally being bothered, then they probably aren't posting long justifications for why it is unreasonable ever to be bothered.
If they just want to vent and let off steam about this time someone bothered them, that's cool, I do that too, but what's going on in this thread (lately) seems beyond that.
Last edited by Zorak; Sep 20, 2017 at 2:00 pm
Sep 20, 2017, 4:21 pm
#1328
Suspended
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 1,808
I agree 100% with both of these statements.
However I also realize that going out in public necessarily involves sometimes coming in proximity with other people, which means that from time to time my desire not to be bothered cannot be satisfied. Somehow I manage not to lose my ---- over this.
However I also realize that going out in public necessarily involves sometimes coming in proximity with other people, which means that from time to time my desire not to be bothered cannot be satisfied. Somehow I manage not to lose my ---- over this.
Not all ventures out into public are equal. The street is different than the restaurant, and the sports arena, and the airplane.
Someone asking me for directions on the street because they are hopelessly lost? Fine. Worth the time to help them out if I have the time.
Someone asking to swap seats in a place where everyone has a seat assignment already and should be sitting in it? Not fine. Because it's not necessary. To me it's like dealing with those petition takers outside a store, where my own flow is interrupted for someone else's non-critical concern. Just because I know I can be bothered in public doesn't mean I need to tolerate it.
By the way, I EXPECT to be asked. That's not the issue. I just expect MORE to be left alone unless there is an emergency. And seeing as everyone has a seat assigned to them, odds are their "emergency" is more about their wants than their needs.
I am American, but I tend to favor the Scandinavian outlook on talking with strangers: Small talk is invasive and unnecessary. Don't bother anyone else if you don't absolutely have to.
Sep 21, 2017, 1:25 am
#1329
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: San Antonio
Programs: DL DM, Former AA EXP now AY Plat, AC 75K, NW Plat, Former CO Gold, Hilton Diamond, Marriott Titanium
Posts: 27,052
It's not small talk. It's a simple request. One point it was the manner in which person asked, now it's just asking at all. Some here i believe would enjoy self-flagellation. I mean they would rather give up something THEY enjoy better simply because of some perceived slight by person asking. Like refusing PCH winnings simply because they dared not bring balloons, or dared interrupt you at home to offer the winnings.
Sep 21, 2017, 8:28 am
#1330
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: SE USA
Programs: DL DM/MM , IHG Plat, MR Titanium, HH Gold, EK Frequent Kettle, UA Silver, AA Hater
Posts: 2,020
Sep 21, 2017, 9:04 am
#1331
Join Date: Sep 2013
Programs: DL PM, 1MM, DL SC, Kimpton Inner Circle
Posts: 2,416
Sep 21, 2017, 9:26 am
#1332
Join Date: Jan 2010
Programs: AA Plat 2MM/UA G MM/DL MM DM 2015/BA Silver/Hyatt Diamond
Posts: 3,103
Sep 21, 2017, 9:28 am
#1333
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Minneapolis: DL DM charter 2.3MM
Programs: A3*Gold, SPG Plat, HyattDiamond, MarriottPP, LHW exAccess, ICI, Raffles Amb, NW PE MM, TWA Gold MM
Posts: 100,417
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's seat.
Sep 21, 2017, 9:54 am
#1335
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Toledo, OH
Programs: Delta DM & MM, Hilton DM, Marriott gold, Hyatt Globalist, Alaska 75K, Wyndham Diamond,
Posts: 15,399
If I'm travelling with someone I figure we are both lucky to clear due to the new benefit and I have no issues sitting apart but don't see anything wrong with someone asking to swap seats as long as they ask and don't poach the seat or get nasty if you decline