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Seat Swapping, Seat Poaching and Seating Etiquette: The Definitive Thread

Seat Swapping, Seat Poaching and Seating Etiquette: The Definitive Thread

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Old Oct 11, 17, 8:52 am   -   Wikipost
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The Definitive Guide to Seat Poaching

1. Don't do it.
2. Alternatively to #1: Asking politely (and not demanding) to swap for an equal or better seat is acceptable by most (but the final decision always lays with the original seat holder)...but, be warned, some FT'ers may breathe fire at you.
3. Keep in mind that Point 2 is not seat poaching.
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Old Sep 20, 17, 1:06 pm
  #1321  
 
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Originally Posted by GatorBlues View Post
Finally, someone admits the truth about what the anti-seat swap crowd really thinks. It's not about someone else getting to decide what is an equal swap; indeed, the rest of us have acknowledged (many, many, many times) that no one but the seat holder is entitled to evaluate the comparative worth of the seats. It's not about the rare situations where someone is rude; indeed, everyone knows that rude people are going to try to impose on you no matter what. Instead, finally, we received an admission that it's actually about not wanting to deal with a "few seconds" of "burden and undue social pressure" from being asked politely.

I applaud you for your honesty. Of course, most of us already knew this was the real reason. When others kept raising the same straw man over, and over, and over again, it became apparent they were merely trying to deflect the debate away from the real issue. However, even though I respect your honesty, I think you're opinion is unreasonable. In my experience, very few think a polite request is out of bounds, and many of us grant those requests if they aren't much of an imposition. As a result, you're going to keep getting requests whether you like them or not.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to be bothered. No one has a right to a seat swap.

But since you are so agreeable, good for you.
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Old Sep 20, 17, 1:14 pm
  #1322  
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If you're that uptight about being "bothered" (which I agree is your right), consider buying a hat that says "DONT ASK ME TO SWAP SEATS" in big flashing letters.
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Old Sep 20, 17, 1:20 pm
  #1323  
 
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Originally Posted by zitsky View Post
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to be bothered. No one has a right to a seat swap.
I agree 100% with both of these statements.

However I also realize that going out in public necessarily involves sometimes coming in proximity with other people, which means that from time to time my desire not to be bothered cannot be satisfied. Somehow I manage not to lose my ---- over this.
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Old Sep 20, 17, 1:28 pm
  #1324  
 
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Originally Posted by zitsky View Post
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to be bothered. No one has a right to a seat swap.

But since you are so agreeable, good for you.
And just like that, we're back to the straw men. Asking for a seat swap is not the same as having a "right to a seat swap."

We not only disagree, but I also think it's sad that you and a few others think a mere polite request is a such a terrible imposition. Then again, when someone asks, it upsets you, not me. So it's no skin off my nose if you want to be annoyed by every tiny perceived slight. Like I said before, the requests aren't going to stop because very few think that a mere polite request is inappropriate. Enjoy.
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Old Sep 20, 17, 1:40 pm
  #1325  
 
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Originally Posted by Zorak View Post
I agree 100% with both of these statements.

However I also realize that going out in public necessarily involves sometimes coming in proximity with other people, which means that from time to time my desire not to be bothered cannot be satisfied. Somehow I manage not to lose my ---- over this.
I don't recall anyone here saying they freaked out because they were asked about a seat swap. They just don't want to be bothered.
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Old Sep 20, 17, 1:44 pm
  #1326  
 
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Originally Posted by zitsky View Post
I don't recall anyone here saying they freaked out because they were asked about a seat swap. They just don't want to be bothered.
People are talking about even just the request as being some massive imposition.
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Old Sep 20, 17, 1:52 pm
  #1327  
 
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... I mean I would think most people would say they don't like being bothered (can't imagine who would).

But if someone can't even tolerate the possibility of being bothered, then going out in public may not be for them.

If they can tolerate the possibility of occasionally being bothered, then they probably aren't posting long justifications for why it is unreasonable ever to be bothered.

If they just want to vent and let off steam about this time someone bothered them, that's cool, I do that too, but what's going on in this thread (lately) seems beyond that.
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Last edited by Zorak; Sep 20, 17 at 2:00 pm
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Old Sep 20, 17, 4:21 pm
  #1328  
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Originally Posted by Zorak View Post
I agree 100% with both of these statements.

However I also realize that going out in public necessarily involves sometimes coming in proximity with other people, which means that from time to time my desire not to be bothered cannot be satisfied. Somehow I manage not to lose my ---- over this.

Not all ventures out into public are equal. The street is different than the restaurant, and the sports arena, and the airplane.

Someone asking me for directions on the street because they are hopelessly lost? Fine. Worth the time to help them out if I have the time.

Someone asking to swap seats in a place where everyone has a seat assignment already and should be sitting in it? Not fine. Because it's not necessary. To me it's like dealing with those petition takers outside a store, where my own flow is interrupted for someone else's non-critical concern. Just because I know I can be bothered in public doesn't mean I need to tolerate it.

By the way, I EXPECT to be asked. That's not the issue. I just expect MORE to be left alone unless there is an emergency. And seeing as everyone has a seat assigned to them, odds are their "emergency" is more about their wants than their needs.

I am American, but I tend to favor the Scandinavian outlook on talking with strangers: Small talk is invasive and unnecessary. Don't bother anyone else if you don't absolutely have to.
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Old Sep 21, 17, 1:25 am
  #1329  
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It's not small talk. It's a simple request. One point it was the manner in which person asked, now it's just asking at all. Some here i believe would enjoy self-flagellation. I mean they would rather give up something THEY enjoy better simply because of some perceived slight by person asking. Like refusing PCH winnings simply because they dared not bring balloons, or dared interrupt you at home to offer the winnings.
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Old Sep 21, 17, 8:28 am
  #1330  
 
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Originally Posted by Proudelitist View Post
Because it's not necessary.
DING DING DING

This whole thread in one sentence.

Sit in your seat!!!! If you don't like it plan better next time.
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Old Sep 21, 17, 9:04 am
  #1331  
 
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Originally Posted by Proudelitist View Post
By the way, I EXPECT to be asked. That's not the issue. I just expect MORE to be left alone unless there is an emergency. And seeing as everyone has a seat assigned to them, odds are their "emergency" is more about their wants than their needs.
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Old Sep 21, 17, 9:26 am
  #1332  
 
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Originally Posted by dilbertsdaddy View Post
DING DING DING

This whole thread in one sentence.

Sit in your seat!!!! If you don't like it plan better next time.
Delta IT and my planning - not always working out for me. I'm happy to hear your experience is different.
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Old Sep 21, 17, 9:28 am
  #1333  
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Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's seat.
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Old Sep 21, 17, 9:31 am
  #1334  
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Originally Posted by Zorak View Post
People are talking about even just the request as being some massive imposition.
You are using the term "massive" imposition. It's not. It's just an imposition.
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Old Sep 21, 17, 9:54 am
  #1335  
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Originally Posted by Bicostal View Post
Delta IT and my planning - not always working out for me. I'm happy to hear your experience is different.
And there are things like Irrops are aircraft changes or getting FAM'd out of a paid first seat or sometimes Shena (I think my exit row was swapped out to a NRSA a long time ago when I was still PM), or the case recently where I was in C+ and a couple had a pet and were assigned a bulkhead. Not always poor planing.

If I'm travelling with someone I figure we are both lucky to clear due to the new benefit and I have no issues sitting apart but don't see anything wrong with someone asking to swap seats as long as they ask and don't poach the seat or get nasty if you decline
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