Inappropriate Comments by Strangers...advice needed
Nov 28, 2007, 8:36 am
#17
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: DAB
Programs: DL PM UA PSilver Marriott Lifetime Plat, AMEX Platinum, Avis PC, UA MPPPlus
Posts: 961
If it had been me, I would have tried to change the subject of the conversation once, and if he insisted on coming back to it, I would have asked him to drop it.
The GFY bomb would be ready and used if it was mentioned again.
No need for you to try and justify or qualify your actions to a stranger met in public while on travel.
The GFY bomb would be ready and used if it was mentioned again.
No need for you to try and justify or qualify your actions to a stranger met in public while on travel.
Nov 28, 2007, 8:44 am
#18
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Dec 1999
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Posts: 15,382
I've noticed that my health insurance will almost double, to $610 monthly for a single individual. I work out, eat healthy, get good sleep. Never in a hospital. My payment subsidize Americans unhealthy lifestyles.
I don't like it, but I keep my mouth shut.
Forget him, and forget about the hurt.
Give your family a gift: a healthy dad with a long, healthy retirement. Be around for your grandkids.
Its a choice we each need to make.
I don't like it, but I keep my mouth shut.
Forget him, and forget about the hurt.
Give your family a gift: a healthy dad with a long, healthy retirement. Be around for your grandkids.
Its a choice we each need to make.
Nov 28, 2007, 8:51 am
#19
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
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Location: back to my roots in Scotland!
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Or something along the lines of 'I may appear unhealthy, but at least I'm not judgemental and rude. Unhealthy can be reversed more easily'
Yes, it's a play on dear old Winston's retort.
Nov 28, 2007, 9:16 am
#20
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Dec 1999
Programs: Marriott Lifetime Titanium
Posts: 15,382
I wasn't very polite I suppose above. But I like how the poster above wants to blame fat people for his insurance rates. Should I go up to people with cancer or transplant patients and say they raised my rates? Because individually, people with those huge dollar maladies are very costly, as well. If you're going to blame someone with unhealthy habits, then blame ALL the "unhealthy."
But no, the overweight continue to get disdain and scorn. Perhaps that poster ought to find a good job with group health benefits -- I pay $0 a month for my insurance. Or move to a place where the gubmint takes care of you.
Nov 28, 2007, 10:06 am
#21
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 747
It's a free world and people can say what they like.
On the whole people are much too afraid to speak up and offend strangers so they keep quiet instead.
You see a mom yelling at her small kids and smacking them so you turn away and pretend you don't see it.
Or the co-worker with the severe alcohol problem that everyone knows about but nobody says anything. Let's all enable this guy's drinking problem by covering for him and pretending everything is fine.
Or the enormous guy next to you chowing down on fried food and ice cream. Perhaps being a little rude to him would be kinder that standing by while he eats himself to death.
The rude and inconsiderate person has done you a favour. Be offended and angry all you want, but also think about what he has said and take it to heart.
And yes I am being rude inconsiderate and thoughtless. Not like those other people who shut up and pretend nothing is wrong, while they are thinking exactly what the rude gentleman said to you.
On the whole people are much too afraid to speak up and offend strangers so they keep quiet instead.
You see a mom yelling at her small kids and smacking them so you turn away and pretend you don't see it.
Or the co-worker with the severe alcohol problem that everyone knows about but nobody says anything. Let's all enable this guy's drinking problem by covering for him and pretending everything is fine.
Or the enormous guy next to you chowing down on fried food and ice cream. Perhaps being a little rude to him would be kinder that standing by while he eats himself to death.
The rude and inconsiderate person has done you a favour. Be offended and angry all you want, but also think about what he has said and take it to heart.
And yes I am being rude inconsiderate and thoughtless. Not like those other people who shut up and pretend nothing is wrong, while they are thinking exactly what the rude gentleman said to you.
Nov 28, 2007, 12:00 pm
#22
Join Date: May 2002
Location: DTW
Programs: HH Diamond
Posts: 1,934
It's a free world and people can say what they like.
On the whole people are much too afraid to speak up and offend strangers so they keep quiet instead.
You see a mom yelling at her small kids and smacking them so you turn away and pretend you don't see it.
Or the co-worker with the severe alcohol problem that everyone knows about but nobody says anything. Let's all enable this guy's drinking problem by covering for him and pretending everything is fine.
Or the enormous guy next to you chowing down on fried food and ice cream. Perhaps being a little rude to him would be kinder that standing by while he eats himself to death.
The rude and inconsiderate person has done you a favour. Be offended and angry all you want, but also think about what he has said and take it to heart.
And yes I am being rude inconsiderate and thoughtless. Not like those other people who shut up and pretend nothing is wrong, while they are thinking exactly what the rude gentleman said to you.
On the whole people are much too afraid to speak up and offend strangers so they keep quiet instead.
You see a mom yelling at her small kids and smacking them so you turn away and pretend you don't see it.
Or the co-worker with the severe alcohol problem that everyone knows about but nobody says anything. Let's all enable this guy's drinking problem by covering for him and pretending everything is fine.
Or the enormous guy next to you chowing down on fried food and ice cream. Perhaps being a little rude to him would be kinder that standing by while he eats himself to death.
The rude and inconsiderate person has done you a favour. Be offended and angry all you want, but also think about what he has said and take it to heart.
And yes I am being rude inconsiderate and thoughtless. Not like those other people who shut up and pretend nothing is wrong, while they are thinking exactly what the rude gentleman said to you.
Yes.
Then I speak up.
Otherwise, it is a free country and they can live their life (or not live it much longer as the case may be) as they see fit (no pun intended).
Someone saying something in passing like this, I HIGHLY doubt will have any effect on the person... other then to depress them or make them annoyed.
I recall something similar happening to myself and mrs. infinityplusone when infinityplusone jr 01 came along. He was about 4-5 months old. We had traveled back to my old stomping grounds and contacted several friends to get together. One friend suggested a place to eat and we asked about bringing ipo jr 01 along and he said that it was a family friendly place, so we brought baby along.
The "place" was similar to a TGI Friday's or an Applebee's, it was not a Double Deuce type of joint. We were seated in a non-smoking section about as far from the bar as we could get. Although I do recall thinking that the music was on the loud side and wondering if it would wake him up... it didn't.
IPO jr 01 was fast asleep in his baby carrier, set up in one of those baby carrier restaurant holder things at our table and a lady walked up to us and forcefully said, "You shouldn't have him out in a place like this, he is much too young."
Mrs. ipo said, "Oh I think he is doing fine."
I said, "Thanks for your concern but as you can see he is not under any stress."
Several of my friends start laughing and the lady gets upset and says, "Well I don't think you should have him here."
I said, "That's nice." turned my back as much as I could towards the lady and re-started the conversation among my friends.
She stood there for a few more seconds and then left.
The rude and inconsiderate person has done you a favour.
It's a free world and people can say what they like.
Nov 28, 2007, 12:13 pm
#23
Join Date: May 2002
Location: DTW
Programs: HH Diamond
Posts: 1,934
As someone mentioned previously... depending on my mood I would respond accordingly.
1) Stop talking and make it a point to obviously ignore him (pull out a book, put on headphones). (very passive)
1) Smile nicely and nod my head vigorously making sure he could tell I was patronizing him. (passive)
2) Tell him to GFO. (aggressive)
3) Tell him that I appreciate his concern for my well-being, then ask him if he is truly concerned for my well-being and he is not trying to make a pass at me or has some other nefarious motive in chatting me up. (passive-aggressive)
3a) Tell him that I appreciate his concern for my well-being and that I have truly taken it to heart. Then excuse myself for my flight and on the way to my gate stop by the TSA and give them a detailed description of the gentleman and tell them how I thought I saw him fiddling with some dangerous looking b.o.m.b. type object back in X restaurant. (very passive-aggressive)
1) Stop talking and make it a point to obviously ignore him (pull out a book, put on headphones). (very passive)
1) Smile nicely and nod my head vigorously making sure he could tell I was patronizing him. (passive)
2) Tell him to GFO. (aggressive)
3) Tell him that I appreciate his concern for my well-being, then ask him if he is truly concerned for my well-being and he is not trying to make a pass at me or has some other nefarious motive in chatting me up. (passive-aggressive)
3a) Tell him that I appreciate his concern for my well-being and that I have truly taken it to heart. Then excuse myself for my flight and on the way to my gate stop by the TSA and give them a detailed description of the gentleman and tell them how I thought I saw him fiddling with some dangerous looking b.o.m.b. type object back in X restaurant. (very passive-aggressive)
Nov 28, 2007, 12:49 pm
#24
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Israel
Posts: 986
3a) Tell him that I appreciate his concern for my well-being and that I have truly taken it to heart. Then excuse myself for my flight and on the way to my gate stop by the TSA and give them a detailed description of the gentleman and tell them how I thought I saw him fiddling with some dangerous looking b.o.m.b. type object back in X restaurant. (very passive-aggressive)
Nov 28, 2007, 1:00 pm
#25
Join Date: May 2005
Programs: UA 1K 2MM, DL MM, Hyatt Globalist, Hilton Diamond
Posts: 1,445
If someone else is being harmed, you can intervene. If the big guy is usurping your space, you can speak up. But if a fat guy is doing no one but himself harm and inconveniencing no one, leave him alone.
Nov 28, 2007, 1:08 pm
#26
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 283
You know what? The enormous guy has noticed that he's fat. He knows how to take action if he chooses to. Your "kindness" does him no good.
If someone else is being harmed, you can intervene. If the big guy is usurping your space, you can speak up. But if a fat guy is doing no one but himself harm and inconveniencing no one, leave him alone.
If someone else is being harmed, you can intervene. If the big guy is usurping your space, you can speak up. But if a fat guy is doing no one but himself harm and inconveniencing no one, leave him alone.
Nov 28, 2007, 1:17 pm
#28
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Denver
Programs: UA 1K in training
Posts: 2,107
You know what? The enormous guy has noticed that he's fat. He knows how to take action if he chooses to. Your "kindness" does him no good.
If someone else is being harmed, you can intervene. If the big guy is usurping your space, you can speak up. But if a fat guy is doing no one but himself harm and inconveniencing no one, leave him alone.
If someone else is being harmed, you can intervene. If the big guy is usurping your space, you can speak up. But if a fat guy is doing no one but himself harm and inconveniencing no one, leave him alone.
It's fine in some cases to point out things that people may not be aware of -- for example, the toilet paper stuck to one's shoe.
But criticizing or trying to "help" a stranger for a condition or behavior that they're obviously aware of, not asking for help with, and that's not hurting anyone else -- that's just rude and totally uncalled for.
Nov 28, 2007, 1:19 pm
#29
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: PHX
Programs: AA Peon Gold
Posts: 2,915
It's a free world and people can say what they like.
On the whole people are much too afraid to speak up and offend strangers so they keep quiet instead.
You see a mom yelling at her small kids and smacking them so you turn away and pretend you don't see it.
Or the co-worker with the severe alcohol problem that everyone knows about but nobody says anything. Let's all enable this guy's drinking problem by covering for him and pretending everything is fine.
Or the enormous guy next to you chowing down on fried food and ice cream. Perhaps being a little rude to him would be kinder that standing by while he eats himself to death.
The rude and inconsiderate person has done you a favour. Be offended and angry all you want, but also think about what he has said and take it to heart.
And yes I am being rude inconsiderate and thoughtless. Not like those other people who shut up and pretend nothing is wrong, while they are thinking exactly what the rude gentleman said to you.
On the whole people are much too afraid to speak up and offend strangers so they keep quiet instead.
You see a mom yelling at her small kids and smacking them so you turn away and pretend you don't see it.
Or the co-worker with the severe alcohol problem that everyone knows about but nobody says anything. Let's all enable this guy's drinking problem by covering for him and pretending everything is fine.
Or the enormous guy next to you chowing down on fried food and ice cream. Perhaps being a little rude to him would be kinder that standing by while he eats himself to death.
The rude and inconsiderate person has done you a favour. Be offended and angry all you want, but also think about what he has said and take it to heart.
And yes I am being rude inconsiderate and thoughtless. Not like those other people who shut up and pretend nothing is wrong, while they are thinking exactly what the rude gentleman said to you.
Live and let live.
Nov 28, 2007, 1:20 pm
#30
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: IAD
Programs: UA, NW
Posts: 160
You know what? The enormous guy has noticed that he's fat. He knows how to take action if he chooses to. Your "kindness" does him no good.
If someone else is being harmed, you can intervene. If the big guy is usurping your space, you can speak up. But if a fat guy is doing no one but himself harm and inconveniencing no one, leave him alone.
If someone else is being harmed, you can intervene. If the big guy is usurping your space, you can speak up. But if a fat guy is doing no one but himself harm and inconveniencing no one, leave him alone.
For some, being over- or under-weight isn't a matter of choice or dieting or exercising or anything else. For some, their body/metabolism/brain makes that decision for them and they are shanghai-ed along for the ride. Any attempts they make to change will frequently make things worse.
Making rude, pointed or unkind comments as a way of pushing your moral superiority isn't going to make a lick of difference to these people. They can't change it, and I guarantee they would, if they could.
I've seen it, up close and personal. Not me, but someone people VERY dear to me.