Do you mind if I borrow your pen?
Sep 8, 2018, 10:07 pm
#106
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 4,374
Here's a really basic way to know if somebody is well bred: ask them for something. If they say "absolutely, have my pen" or "not a problem, work in your set" or "of course you can have the last donut" you can tell they have been well bred.
If instead they whine about "me first" and "self reliance" you can be rather sure they attended a terrible school.
If instead they whine about "me first" and "self reliance" you can be rather sure they attended a terrible school.
Yes there are unjustifiably entitled and selfish people out there. In the present situation, however, we are talking about a friggin' pen.
Sep 8, 2018, 10:39 pm
#107
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 233
I fly out of HNL and always bring a bunch hotel pens to give to FAs on the way back. Some are really appreciative because the have had passengers blow up at them for not having pens for the required agricultural form. Others (fewer in number) take the pens without a word, smile, or nod, like it was my job to bring them.
Sep 8, 2018, 10:50 pm
#108
Join Date: Aug 2011
Programs: UA 2P, UC, Hertz 5*, Hilton Diamond
Posts: 513
I remember upgrading into First on a US Airways flight from CLT to SJO and I asked the FA for a pen, she went on a rant, berated me and told me that I need to travel everywhere with a pen, etc. After that day I always try to pack one in my carry on just in case.
Sep 9, 2018, 6:34 am
#109
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: United Kingdom
Programs: Bonvoy LTTitanium, BAEC Silver
Posts: 591
I disagree emphatically with the last two posts. Declining to lend a pen is perfectly fine. Declining in a curt manner is demeaning and dismissive. A substantive explanation ("the pen is expensive, sentimental, etc.") is unnecessary, but implicit acknowledgement that the request is eminently reasonable is necessary. "I'm sorry, I prefer to keep my pen to myself. Perhaps you may ask a flight attendant?"
Polite behavior all around keeps everyone comfortable. Only in the unlikely event someone insists or demands to borrow the pen, is a more direct "No, sir/ma'am," appropriate.
Polite behavior all around keeps everyone comfortable. Only in the unlikely event someone insists or demands to borrow the pen, is a more direct "No, sir/ma'am," appropriate.
Sep 9, 2018, 7:07 am
#110
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: YYZ/TPA/MCO
Posts: 101
''Who wouldnt let someone a pen!".
When people ask to borrow a pen, they are basically saying "I am far too lazy to get my pen from the overhead / take time to prepare for this flight". I've lost so many pen's by lending them out, often having to pick up another for a connecting flight. I just can't do it anymore.
Sep 9, 2018, 7:29 am
#111
Suspended
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Ontario, Canada
Programs: Aeroplan, IHG, Enterprise, Avios, Nexus
Posts: 8,355
Absolutely spot on. Given the abrupt response I also don't see any issue with the OP's light hearted comment to his wife. If the non-lender overheard and took offence then that's his problem. There was no offensive or abusive language used and the OP simply exercised his right to freedom of speech.
Those prattling on about breeding, being polite and good schools should limit their opinions to on-line commentary. In real life you might encounter an ill-bred, impolite, unmannered person who went to the wrong school who is more than prepared to offer a contrary opinion in a manner you won't find befitting your lofty status.
Sep 9, 2018, 7:39 am
#112
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: United Kingdom
Programs: Bonvoy LTTitanium, BAEC Silver
Posts: 591
A complete stranger who asks to borrow my personal property and makes a smart mouth remark should I choose to decline can expect me to exercise my freedom of speech. It will be an uncomfortable and humiliating experience for them.
Those prattling on about breeding, being polite and good schools should limit their opinions to on-line commentary. In real life you might encounter an ill-bred, impolite, unmannered person who went to the wrong school who is more than prepared to offer a contrary opinion in a manner you won't find befitting your lofty status.
Those prattling on about breeding, being polite and good schools should limit their opinions to on-line commentary. In real life you might encounter an ill-bred, impolite, unmannered person who went to the wrong school who is more than prepared to offer a contrary opinion in a manner you won't find befitting your lofty status.
Sep 9, 2018, 8:13 am
#113
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: EAR
Posts: 135
Whenever I go overseas for travel, the passport is on me at all times during flight. A pen is on me as well. Usually it is one that I don't mind losing or lending out, because I tend to pick up pens at farm shows. These are the freebies, and I don't care if I get it back or not, as I keep another one in the carry on bag, just in case.
Sep 9, 2018, 8:26 am
#114
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Midwest USA
Programs: BA SIL, WN A, UA SIL, Marriott TIT (LT), Hilton DIA
Posts: 1,969
man there are some uptight people here. It is a pen for goodness sake. "Do unto others" is a nice way to live your life.
Sep 9, 2018, 9:08 am
#115
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: United Kingdom
Programs: Bonvoy LTTitanium, BAEC Silver
Posts: 591
Sep 9, 2018, 1:01 pm
#116
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 196
If someone asked me for a pen, I would say, "TAKE THE PEN"
Sorry, I couldn't resist...
Sorry, I couldn't resist...
Sep 9, 2018, 5:22 pm
#117
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Canada
Posts: 628
I disagree emphatically with the last two posts. Declining to lend a pen is perfectly fine. Declining in a curt manner is demeaning and dismissive. A substantive explanation ("the pen is expensive, sentimental, etc.") is unnecessary, but implicit acknowledgement that the request is eminently reasonable is necessary. "I'm sorry, I prefer to keep my pen to myself. Perhaps you may ask a flight attendant?"
Polite behavior all around keeps everyone comfortable. Only in the unlikely event someone insists or demands to borrow the pen, is a more direct "No, sir/ma'am," appropriate.
Polite behavior all around keeps everyone comfortable. Only in the unlikely event someone insists or demands to borrow the pen, is a more direct "No, sir/ma'am," appropriate.
As the inventor of the Flyertalk Bond Aviator Pen [Patent pending] I must point out that this pen is only in one of its functions, a conventional pen. The Flyertalk Bond Aviator Pen looks like any ballpoint gel pen and does in fact include that as a function, but only one function. It actually has four buttons, the first when depressed extends the ink flowing end, as per usual. Buttons 2, 3, and 4 when depressed will:
* cause the seats of aisle and window passengers who hog the middle seat armrests to be ejected out the nearest window;
* ditto for anyone who poaches a seat not assigned to them
* don't even ask what the fourth button does when depressed.
When asking to borrow the Flyertalk Bond Aviator Pen, phrase it thus:
"if it isn't inconvenient, I would appreciate borrowing your pen." Unlike "Would you mind.." which suggests that inconvenience is unlikely, "if it isn't inconvenient..." suggests the opposite: the default case is that the owner or even the borrower or even both parties may incur inconvenience if the pen is lent. For example, if the Flyertalk Bond Aviator Pen is handled by an untrained party, death - possibly their own - may ensue. This result presumably the borrower would mind, or they would mind if they were still alive to mind.
Sep 9, 2018, 6:26 pm
#118
Suspended
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Ontario, Canada
Programs: Aeroplan, IHG, Enterprise, Avios, Nexus
Posts: 8,355
How could you possibly know how other people will feel? Maybe they couldn't care less what you say in response. Funny how you conveniently didn't make reference to the harsh tone that was used when declining which was key to both mine and the poster who I quoted's argument. I also noted that you chose not to reply to his or her well put argument in response to your post
There are too many Blanche Dubois in this world. Always depending on the kindness of strangers.
Sep 9, 2018, 9:19 pm
#119
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: GIG - YYC - SVO
Programs: Lost it all and don't care
Posts: 945
It wouldn't bother me at all, as I always carry one of those little half sized UAL amenity kit pens with me in my carry on. I think there are still 4-5 sitting in a jar on my desk actually.
Sep 9, 2018, 11:59 pm
#120
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 969
Return to the lender. They were kind enough to lend it to you, so don't presume that somehow gives you "permission" to lend it to others. It's not yours to lend.