favorite dumb pax comments
Jul 15, 2011, 1:52 pm
#122
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: RDU
Posts: 389
Humor from CSG
Throughout my 2 years in CSG, I got to know the GAs pretty well...there was only one gate, and only 4 DL (ASA) flights per day served the airport, with 50% being CX or delayed. None the less, they had plenty of good stories.
The most memorable was that of a young Army wife flying for the first time. The GA asked her if she wanted a window seat or an aisle seat. She pondered it for a bit, and then told him "well, I just got my hair done, and don't want it messed up by the wind, so I better take the aisle seat".
The most memorable was that of a young Army wife flying for the first time. The GA asked her if she wanted a window seat or an aisle seat. She pondered it for a bit, and then told him "well, I just got my hair done, and don't want it messed up by the wind, so I better take the aisle seat".
Jul 15, 2011, 2:25 pm
#123
In Memoriam, FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Durham, NC (RDU/GSO/CLT)
Programs: AA EXP/MM, DL GM, UA Platinum, HH DIA, Hyatt Explorist, IHG Platinum, Marriott Titanium, Hertz PC
Posts: 33,857
Anyone who gets on a CRJ or ERJ and says "this is the smallest plane ever!"
Jul 15, 2011, 2:47 pm
#124
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: SEA
Programs: AS-GoldMVP,Hilton, Hyatt, Hertz
Posts: 907
I had an odd moment like that with a rental car. My rental was a Prius (ugh) and it was the first time I drove a car with push button start. I spent 5 minutes in the Hertz lot trying to figure out how to start the damn thing, and eventually gave up and went inside and asked. They told me I had to put my foot on the brake to start it.
Finally I roll down the window and ask:
Excuse me...... is there something wrong with this car?
No, ma'am, it's a Prius.
OK, but it won't start.
Just put your foot on the break and turn the key.
I did. Nothing happened.
It's electric.
OK.......this car does have an engine right? I don't HEAR anything.
Ma'am, it's electric..........
Still doesn't answer my question, does this car have an engine?
Just then a manager walked up and I told him my problem. He chuckled and said, you won't hear anything because it is running on the battery, you won't hear anything till you go faster than 35 mph....... I looked at him, put my head on the steering wheel and burst out laughing..... we all laughed and damn, I felt like such a Kettle...... LOL LOL LOL
__________________________________________________ _______________
Recently on a flight out of Phoenix, was in line for security and the lady in front of me was talking to her friends, how this security line was taking so long, she flies all the time and never has to do anything like this. They all continue chatting all the while not getting ready to go through the detector. I take off my shoes, belt, pull out my computer, goody bag all in the bins and this woman turns and looks at me and asks me, "what am I doing?" I told her getting ready to go through security.
"Oh that's ridiculous, I have NEVER had to do that!"
"Do you fly in a private plane, because otherwise you do have to do this."
"Oh I NEVER.....I don't know what you are talking about!"
"When did you fly last..........??"
"1999 and I flew ALL the time!"
Ok.........
Jul 15, 2011, 2:51 pm
#125
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 144
Also: ...Kettle? Define, please?
(<-n00b)
Jul 15, 2011, 3:48 pm
#126
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Wesley Chapel, FL
Programs: American Airlines
Posts: 30,030
The atmosphere of nervous confusion that permeates the cabin whenever people start to board a 340 or Q400 always cracks me up. Especially when the engines start their slooooooowwwww spool-up and the whole aircraft is vibrating...someone always freaks out.
Also: ...Kettle? Define, please? (<-n00b)
Also: ...Kettle? Define, please?
(<-n00b)
Jul 15, 2011, 3:57 pm
#127
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Silicon Valley, CA (SJC, SFO)
Programs: UA 1P, AA, *A Gold, Hyatt GP, HHonors, SPG, Priority Club
Posts: 172
This doesn't count as the dumbest, but it is one of the most memorable -- back in my single days, was sitting in a window seat on a full regional jet,and the attractive young blonde sitting to my left keeps surreptitiously glancing in my direction.
Everyone boards, and we start to taxi, and she turns to me - I'm waiting for a conversation starter of some kind.
She points to the pocket on the seat in front of me, and says -- "Are you going to need that airsickness bag? I always get sick when I take off and land, and I'm not sure one will be enough."
Everyone boards, and we start to taxi, and she turns to me - I'm waiting for a conversation starter of some kind.
She points to the pocket on the seat in front of me, and says -- "Are you going to need that airsickness bag? I always get sick when I take off and land, and I'm not sure one will be enough."
Jul 15, 2011, 4:11 pm
#128
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: IAD
Programs: UA Premier Platinum; Marriott Platinum
Posts: 441
Jul 15, 2011, 6:55 pm
#129
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NYC
Programs: CO GLD, *A GLD, A"A Lifetime GLD, Avis Pres. Club, SPG PLT, Hyatt DMND, Fairmont PRMR
Posts: 70
I've got one. I wrote it into my BB while sitting on the flight:
In my life I've seen plenty of dumb people, but never have I seen this many dumb people surrounding me. I am currently sitting on an Airtran flight from LGA-MKE. Here's the stories of the dumb people sitting around me.
The girl in front of me calls over the stewardess, and asks (in the ditziest voice possible) "Excuse me, do you know what state Milwaukee is in?"
The woman in front of me to the right is sitting in a 3 seat row. Airtran charges you to book aisle or window seats, so this particular woman was assigned the middle seat. She's sitting in the middle seat. Why is that so strange? Because there's no one in the aisle or window in her row and I guess she doesn't realize she can simply move over!
The kid in back of me to the right asks his friend if there's a time difference between New York and Milwaukee. His friend responds in the affirmative that it's an hour difference. The kids asks back, "an hour ahead or behind?" Now that's not too bad, but after his friend responds that Milwaukee is an hour behind, the kid says "I don't understand how it's exactly an hour...like, shouldn't it be an hour and 22 minutes, or an hour and 40 minutes depending how far you are?"
In my life I've seen plenty of dumb people, but never have I seen this many dumb people surrounding me. I am currently sitting on an Airtran flight from LGA-MKE. Here's the stories of the dumb people sitting around me.
The girl in front of me calls over the stewardess, and asks (in the ditziest voice possible) "Excuse me, do you know what state Milwaukee is in?"
The woman in front of me to the right is sitting in a 3 seat row. Airtran charges you to book aisle or window seats, so this particular woman was assigned the middle seat. She's sitting in the middle seat. Why is that so strange? Because there's no one in the aisle or window in her row and I guess she doesn't realize she can simply move over!
The kid in back of me to the right asks his friend if there's a time difference between New York and Milwaukee. His friend responds in the affirmative that it's an hour difference. The kids asks back, "an hour ahead or behind?" Now that's not too bad, but after his friend responds that Milwaukee is an hour behind, the kid says "I don't understand how it's exactly an hour...like, shouldn't it be an hour and 22 minutes, or an hour and 40 minutes depending how far you are?"
Jul 15, 2011, 7:04 pm
#130
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: LAX/TPE
Programs: United 1K, JAL Sapphire, SPG Lifetime Platinum, National Executive Elite, Hertz PC, Avis PC
Posts: 42,211
One older passenger on a LGA-FLL flight (in November - 90% of the pax onboard were over 70 years old...) insisted that her little purse take up a whole overhead bin, and she refused to move it for other passenger's bags. A while later, the FA came over to me and said, "In my 30 years of flying, I've never seen anything like that, ever!".
After 20+ years of dealing with these people in Florida, I ran out of patience and tolerance many moons ago.
Jul 15, 2011, 8:25 pm
#131
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Orlando, FL, US
Programs: DL-Dirt Medallion;US-Cast Iron Preferred; HH-Gold; Avis First
Posts: 3,617
Until about 125 years ago (in the US), he would have been right. Each town set their own clock based on the sun being directly overhead at noon. This made things difficult for the railroads, so they created time zones, which were not immediately embraced by all. Time zones were officially adopted by the US in 1918. Some places, such as England, standardized time before the US did.
Jul 15, 2011, 8:58 pm
#132
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 187
Also TSA.
Once in TSA line and lady in front of me has a stroller. Needs to get a few last things out and tells me to go ahead. I put my stuff on the belt walk to the scanner. Agent tells me that I can't just break in line. I explain that she told me she had to get something out of her stroller and told me to go ahead. She told me that she didn't care what the woman said. I simply said, "My bad, I was just trying to be efficient."
Her response was priceless. In a very loud voice she says, "Sir, being efficient is not one of the goals of the TSA!" Dude behind me said, "NO SH!T"
Whole place erupted in laughter.
Once in TSA line and lady in front of me has a stroller. Needs to get a few last things out and tells me to go ahead. I put my stuff on the belt walk to the scanner. Agent tells me that I can't just break in line. I explain that she told me she had to get something out of her stroller and told me to go ahead. She told me that she didn't care what the woman said. I simply said, "My bad, I was just trying to be efficient."
Her response was priceless. In a very loud voice she says, "Sir, being efficient is not one of the goals of the TSA!" Dude behind me said, "NO SH!T"
Whole place erupted in laughter.
Jul 15, 2011, 10:58 pm
#133
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 843
I was seated in Y and watching a young man with a Starbucks Coffee in one hand and his rollerboard in the other. When he realized he couldn't put the bag overhead with one hand, he took the hot coffee and put it in his front pants pocket (cargo pants). Needless to say, when he hefted up the bag, the coffee lid came off and he had hot coffee running down his leg.....priceless! Some things can't be made up!
A guy got on a city bus and asks the driver if he goes to x (even though the destination sign clearly stated the bus was going to that very location...but nobody reads signs anyway).
After fumbling for change to pay the fare, the guy goes to sit down, and suddenly yells out "OH S**T!" Everyone starts looking at him wondering what's going on.
The guy pulls out a cigarette, still lit, from his pants pocket.
Jul 16, 2011, 7:58 am
#134
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Earth. Residency:HKG formerly:YYZ
Programs: CX, DL, Nexus/GE, APEC
Posts: 10,689
favorite dumb FTer comments
This reminds me of something I saw maybe 10 years ago (not on a plane, but it did involve a passenger).
A guy got on a city bus and asks the driver if he goes to x (even though the destination sign clearly stated the bus was going to that very location...but nobody reads signs anyway).
After fumbling for change to pay the fare, the guy goes to sit down, and suddenly yells out "OH S**T!" Everyone starts looking at him wondering what's going on.
The guy pulls out a cigarette, still lit, from his pants pocket.
A guy got on a city bus and asks the driver if he goes to x (even though the destination sign clearly stated the bus was going to that very location...but nobody reads signs anyway).
After fumbling for change to pay the fare, the guy goes to sit down, and suddenly yells out "OH S**T!" Everyone starts looking at him wondering what's going on.
The guy pulls out a cigarette, still lit, from his pants pocket.
