A threat means nothing unless you follow through. And follow through is what I would do.

But what exactly would be resolving the situation to your satisfaction? Bring you a free desert? Bottle of wine? Comp you the meal? Comp the entire restaurant? Throw the offending family out?

Management already seems to be in a difficult situation to begin with.

Effective and competent management would be able to handle that situation. Just from this example given, a free dessert or a bottle of wine isn't going to improve the ambiance. A good manager/owner also shouldn't have to give away the store in order to improve a situation. The problem is the high-screatching noise; to handle the situation is to stop this intrusive noise. A good manager isn't afraid to stop a problem customer from ruining the enjoyment of MANY customers.

I guess my question then is can management ask them to leave? Short of that, what are they to do?

As an aside, I do think it should be management - not the customer - that deals with this. Mostly because they are in the position of authority.

A good manager would ask the parents to remove the child from the restaurant until he/she calms down, and let the parents know that if the child cannot behave they would have to leave.

One time when I was in a nice restaurant in New Orleans there were 2 young boys (about 4 and 8 maybe) at the table next to us who were left unattened while the mother took her little girl to the restroom. The boys started yelling, running around the restaurant, bumped into my chair and the chairs of an older couple, and tried to touch food on plates that a waitress had on a stand alone tray while serving the table. The waitress and the other customers looked at the children with disgust but said nothing. I finally had enough and went over to the boys and told them to not touch the tray, sit down at their table and be quiet because they were behaving unacceptably and bothering everyone around them. As I was doing this the mother came back with the daughter and overheard me. She looked like she was going to yell at me but said that she had told them to sit quitely and that she was sorry, but then she started yelling at the boys for the rest of the dinner. Her yelling was almost as disruptive as her boys behavior but at this point I just blocked it out.

I think this is a very interesting thread. I have been very fortunate to have been taken to many fine dining establishments since I was about 2 years old. I was quiet, sat still, and never made a scene or fuss. To this day, I feel more comfortable in a fine dining room than in the local pub. I am always amazed to see ill-behaved children, and often more frequently, ill-behaved adults, in these restaurants.

In this situation, I think I would also be terribly annoyed. I would want to sm**k the little sh*t AND the parents. In this day of rights and freedoms, I think we have forgotten responsibilities and duties that go with them. Most certainly, the parents should have excused their child and given him a stern lecture on appropriate behaviour. The Management could have asked the parents do the same and/or leave.

But in the bigger picture, this became a night which became undone. Unless this happens at this restaurant frequently, I think it is better to look at it as just one of those nights. A myriad of other occurences could have the same effect -- a fire in the kitchen, an off night for the servers/kitchen, power outage -- these are all things beyond your own control. We should also be grateful that we are in a position to be able to enjoy a nice meal out. Finally, we ought to be happy, and perhaps praise the parents, of those children one see's at restaurants who are very well behaved.

What is the purpose of life? Everyone ponders this question from time to time, but few have an answer. I do:

The purpose of life is to NOT get your food spit in.

Perhaps I'm a bit more paranoid than others in this regard, but I basically assume that someone is spitting in my food unless I can prove otherwise. I've basically conditioned myself to eating spit, but still make grave efforts to minimize the amount that I consume.

Accordingly, I strongly disagree with the suggestions of "demanding" that the manager take care of things and "threatening" what you will do if it isn't corrected. That's a sure bet to have a loogie hocked into your risotto. Of course, much like complaining about the 13 minute wait at Burger King's drive through, once you have your food you can let them have it with both barrels.

On the other hand, not getting hit by some snotty kid's dad is not the purpose of life (following the double negative and it makes sense). So here's how I'd handle that situation.

(1) If the kid is under 3, I'd take every opportunity to give the parents "the look" fully realizing that this would have no effect other than to make me feel better. At this age, it really isn't the kid's fault - it's clearly the parents fault and you aren't going to change their behavior in a 2 hour span of your life. So, basically, I'd just do my best to not let it ruin my night - but I have an uncanning ability to block out kids. Perhaps it comes from all those flights in & out of Orlando.

(2) If the kid is over 3, then I'd handle it basically the same way I handle the "seat kicking" issue. First, give it a little bit of time to see if the parents actually do anything about it (and saying "stop that" 87 times does NOT constitute doing something about it). If they don't, (and I'll use the restaraunt example here, but easily adaptable to the seat kicker on the plane) I'd go and adress the child directly. Clearly the parents are clueless about proper etiquette and how to control their child, so addressing them would be pointless.

I figure at 3 & over, the kid should be able to carry on a half-way decent conversation and understand cause and effect and the like. So my first attempt would be to explain to the kid why his behavior is disruptive - something the parents probably haven't even considered doing. They just repeat "stop that, stop that, stop that" incessantly.

So I'd go over to the table and be like "Hey buddy, how ya doing?" Let him answer. "What are you eating tonight" Let him answer. "You here on vacation, what'd you do today, etc. etc. etc." After buidling a 30 second rapport, lay it on him: "You know, I'm sitting over there at that table and it seems like you're talking pretty loud (or running around, or whatever may be the problem). It's kind of hard for me and my wife to sit an enjoy our meal with you yelling. And we can't really hear any of the other tables around us, so it must be that you're talking a little bit louder than everybody else. Do you think you could try to be a little more quiet, maybe even whisper?"

Surprisingly, sometimes this actually works. Once you bring it to the kids attention that he's disturbing the people around him, he feels guilty (I guess) and prefers not to be such an annoyance. If you happen to run across a kid that responds to this, a few gentle reminders are typically necessary since kids seem to get overly excited pretty easily. In a restaraunt, just making eye contact and giving him the "shhhh" sign may do it.

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Now, there are drawbacks to this approach too. One, you really make the parents feel like clods which may offend them, but sometimes the truth hurts. Two, you sometimes run across a kid who is just a smart ... with absolutely no discipline whatsoever. This kid is as likely to say Eff You as anything when you try to reason with him. Three (and this may be the worst, and is worse on a plane than in a restaraunt), the kid may be starved for attention and be so excited about "making a new friend" (after all, you actually talked to him) that you'll never get rid of him. I have actually had this happen to me on flights where I end up hearing the kid's entire life story and answering the "why" question 800 times between Orlando and Atlanta. Generally, though, if that happens, I figure the 2 hours of torment I'm through is worth it if it makes some neglected kid feel good about himself for a day.

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Just to make a long post longer, this reminds me of a funny story.

We were on a flight recently and ended up sharing our row with an unaccompanied minor (9 year old boy). When the flight started, he was very well behaved an seemed rather mature. There was a family sitting behind us. Mom & 2 boys (maybe 3 & 7) directly behind us with Dad across the aisle. Well the 3 year old kept kicking this kid's (the unaccompanied minor) seat and it was bugging the hell out of him. About every 5 minutes he'd turn around and yell at the kid to stop kicking his seat. The parents, of course, were oblivious to the fact that their little darling could do anything wrong.

Well, literally after about an hour of this and 20+ times of the kid yelling at the 3 year old, he (the unaccompanied minor) reached behind his seat and grabbed the kids foot and wouldn't let go. The older brother (7 year old) quickly got into the action and it eventually escalated into an "enthusiastic" kick & grab fight. It really got pretty out of hand.

Well, the parents of the kids behind us basically completely ignored it for about a half hour, but then finally had the kids switch places with the parents to separate the boys a little bit. I was laughing the whole time because I'm sure these parents behind us were wondering why we were saying nothing to the kid sitting next to us. Surely they assumed he was our kid. (I did, actually, at one point suggest that he settle down a little bit, and that seemed to do the trick). But I didn't give a crap. They're dang kid had been kicking the seat for an hour and I thought it was OK if the unaccomanied minor wanted to cause a bit of a scene.

I didn't get a chance to get a look on their faces when we got up after the flight and left "our child" on the plane when we left. But I bet they felt like a couple of clods - or maybe they were just clueless.

I have taken my son to nice restaurants since he was little. When he did act up I would take him outside so I didn't bother anyone else. I use to tell my son in nice restaurants and in FC cabin. "Brandon, do you see any other kids here?" He would say no. I would say, "well kids are not suppose to be here but they are letting you come here but you must behave like an adult." Ok it was a fib but it worked

I recently went to a nice restaurant and 2 minutes after being sat a family was sat next to us with a LOUD baby and a LOUD 2-3 year old. I walked over to my server and said that I apoligize about this but I really was looking forward to a nice quiet dinner and would it be possible to be moved to another table. He said he understood and moved us across the room. I thanked him again. Dinner was great! The servers are very understanding. TRUST me when I say that servers are NOT happy when screaming kids are in the restaurant because it often cost them money but gratuities that they lose by nearby guests who have an unpleasant meal due to the commotion.

You need to teach a course to these clueless part-time parents about responsible parenthood.

I imagine those who think that their precious bundles of joy can cause such havoc are probably those wealthy enough to shove their kids on nannies for most of their growing up period because they have no time or desire to raise them properly.

The dining room of the Chalfonte Hotel, in Cape May NJ. Children under 9 must eat in the separate (supervised) children's dining room.

Some parents like this (essentially you get free babysitting during dinner), others are horrified.

At a Christmas dinner in a Michelin 2* in the french countryside, the parents brought the two incorregables, and their supervisor.

The children went wild, running around the table, screaming at the tops of their voices. The poor parents were at a total loss.

I did my best imitation of totally insane(wife argues about imitaiton). I went over, and screemed at the parents, louder than the kids, screemed at the management. Apparently the parents were unbelievely important. Screaming at them had a phenomonal effect.

We were moved to a private dining room. I'm not proud of myself, and we did not enjoy the dinner. Next time, I will start screeming at the parents earlier, and not scream anything to the management.