BearX220

I guess I disagree that children should be banned from nice restaurants in prime time -- otherwise how will they aspire to a life beyond Burger King? But their parents, the restaurant staff and fellow diners should all expect proper behavior or proceed with sanctions, up to and including removal -- and the parents are the first link in the chain.

Adults may not realize that the very things they want out of a nice restaurant -- leisurely meal, low noise level, absence of stimuli -- are torment to small children.

My wife and I did take our son to a couple of very nice restaurants when he was less than one year old, but we booked 530p tables and were out of there before the main dinner rush. As my son grew older I did remove him from upscale restaurants a couple of times -- we went outside and played or went walking until our companions were done -- and, yeah, I had my fine entree out of a Styro container later on, but it was the proper course to preserve the restaurant atmosphere and the proper lesson for my kid.

1776

The only way to teach young children restaurant or theater etiquette is to take them to restaurants and theaters while they are very young and regard it as an instructional enterprise. Children who aren't taught how to behave in various public venues won't learn it by osmosis and are condemned to being boors in adulthood. Are we raising a generation of cultural illiterates in America?

rrz518

So. These parents can't be rushed, and they allow the little one to shriek, scream, and otherwise ruin countless other diner's evenings.

What a thoughful, insightful bunch!

The only fair solution is to evict them (on the grounds of creating a public disturbance). Ridiculous? Hardly. Disturbing the peace is a punishable offense.

The other solution is to allow them to stay, and for them to pick up the tab for the entire room.

Babu

Just curious--are there any restaurants where children are banned altogether?

RunaroundSue

If you can afford a nice restaurant, you can afford a baby sitter. Quiet, stimulus-free environments are not appropriate for a young child's developmental level, it is not fair to the other guests, and honestly, it's just not fun for the children. If it is a *family* outing, why wouldn't you choose a venue more child-friendly where you don't have to be on their case the entire time or sitting in the parking lot? I'm not saying it has to be Chucky Cheese, but any of the loud chain restaurants would have been a better choice (and drowned the screaming kids out).

I agree with the argument, "how will children learn otherwise?" but a four-star restaurant is not the appropriate place for table manner lessons for a five-year-old. Ten, twelve, or when the child has demonstrated the ability to sit quietly for a sustained period of time would be the appropriate time to take him to such a place. Anyway, I wouldn't let it ruin my dinner...get up and move, ask to be seated in the "non-children" section, or offer to get crayons for the kids at the hostess stand and then come back and sweetly say, "oh, I'm sorry--they don't have any. But the Chili's down the street has some." (Personally I find my teacher look stops them dead in their tracks--kids and parents both) It seems there will always be people with more money than sense...

Gaucho100K

Good question..... would this be legal?

JS

Yes, as far as I know. A restaurant can't ban black people (race) or Jews (religion) or the disabled (ADA), but children are not a protected class. Not a big deal, as they won't be children forever.

The question is, would it be good for business to ban children? Probably not, since no one knows of a restaurant that does.

BearX220

You can always eat in the bar. It's sometimes just as nice and more peaceful than the restaurant, in in many states nobody under 21 is allowed in.

rrz518

True, but I for one am not paying hundreds of dollars to eat in a bar, no matter how nice it is. Not to mention that I have an aversion to both alcohol and tobacco....

Further, if housing can get away with not having kids around, then I would suppose that restaurants can do the same. (Not that I hate kids...I just hate the screaming part, esp. when spending outrageous amounts of cash for a meal....)

Efrem

My kids were exposed to good restaurants from an early age and learned how to behave in them. It's well and good to say "Chili's down the block has crayons," but when traveling - which they also found out about from an early age - there isn't always a Chili's down the block. I credit a great deal of their current comfort level in many countries and social situations to this early exposure, so they grew up knowing that a wide range of restaurants, etc., is normal - they didn't get their first taste of a "nice" one after their underlying behavior patterns had already been formed at Chuck-E-Cheese - and that one has to adapt one's behavior to where one finds oneself.

If they ever got disruptive, and they were reasonably normal in this regard, either my then wife or I would take them for a walk. This also teaches the lesson that disturbing others is not acceptable.

As I recall a religious leader saying from the pulpit once: "Noisy children, like good resolutions, should be carried out quickly."

Marysunshine

I dont' think they have to be banned but I think that setting a curfew for young children, early evening before they are tired and cranky, is not a terrible thing.

Analise

Just because a couple can reproduce, it doesn't necessarily make them good parents....unfortunately

I haven't experienced what you did....maybe the restaurants I like don't attract the rich-and-rude parent crowd!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!

But if I had been in your shoes, and you both were on the road, I would not have confronted the selfish parents at all. I would have asked the waiter or captain to bring the manager or owner of the restaurant. I would have him/her listen to that screach and say that this is ruining the ambience of the meal and see what the manager/owner offers to do to remedy the situation. If I am unsatisfied with the answer (especially if that answer is to do nothing), then I would threaten to write a letter to the BBB about how the restaurant does not live up to its advertisment of an upscale and elegant environment. If the restaurant were in tourist guide books, I would also threaten to write to them a letter panning not only the experience but the inept way in which the manager/owner refused to resolve it.

And then I would follow through and write those letters as well as send copies to the owners.

fromYYZ_flyer

If I was the manager I would ask them to leave and offer to package up their meal before they leave. What's the point of taking a kid to a upscale restaurant to eat chicken fingers and fries? It makes me wonder why people take their little kids (and even older kids) to a buffet that costs quite a bit so they can eat onion rings and pizza? Introduce them to seafood and worthwhile stuff. Restaurants like that havent made much money off me since I was 8 and already was into the exotic stuff. It's too bad, but like I always say these people look out for themselves only and dont give a **** about anyone else, including other diners in a fancy restaurant while their baby screams and carries on.

Marysunshine

[QUOTE=Analise]Just because a couple can reproduce, it doesn't necessarily make them good parents....unfortunately

I haven't experienced what you did....maybe the restaurants I like don't attract the rich-and-rude parent crowd!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!

But if I had been in your shoes, and you both were on the road, I would not have confronted the selfish parents at all. I would have asked the waiter or captain to bring the manager or owner of the restaurant. I would have him/her listen to that screach and say that this is ruining the ambience of the meal and see what the manager/owner offers to do to remedy the situation. If I am unsatisfied with the answer (especially if that answer is to do nothing), then I would threaten to write a letter to the BBB about how the restaurant does not live up to its advertisment of an upscale and elegant environment. If the restaurant were in tourist guide books, I would also threaten to write to them a letter panning not only the experience but the inept way in which the manager/owner refused to resolve it.

And then I would follow through write those letters as well as send copies to the owners.[/QUOT


analise: I always knew you were really smart!! Excellent way to handle it!

Gaucho100K

The above idea is not a bad one.... only Im not sure "threaten" would be the best possible execution to the said strategy.