Jan 30, 2024, 12:22 am
Last edit by: WineCountryUA
This is an archive thread, the active thread is DYKWIA stories (Traveling on United Airlines)
DYKWIA stories (Travelling on United Airlines) (Archive)
Oct 3, 2018, 8:02 am
#2101
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: VPS
Programs: IHG Diamond, Delta PM, Hilton Gold, Accor Gold, Marriott Silver
Posts: 7,268
Earlier this year, I found myself on a very 'rough air' flight with a seat kitty-corner from the FA jump seats. The female first officer was very clear on 'everyone stay seated as we figure out if we're going to do a second landing attempt at our scheduled airport of divert' instructions from the cabin but as the delay went on, people started moving around in the cabin outside of FA shouting range. The FAs, seated as instructed, were getting really angry because they were sure passengers were blowing off cockpit instructions because of the first officer's female voice.
Oct 3, 2018, 10:29 am
#2102
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: ORD | LGA | 2E
Programs: UA GS 1.6MM UC | AA CK 0.7MM AC | Bonvoy Ambassador | Hyatt Globalist | Hertz PC
Posts: 1,054
Guy behind me in the ORD B6 lounge right now yelling into his cell phone at UA 1K line about how he is a "1K FLYING TO BANGKOK!" as he implores them to make some asinine change to their return flight. If I had a drink in me I would probably say "and clearly in coach, given that you're in this lounge".
Last edited by LIH; Oct 3, 2018 at 10:31 am Reason: typo
Oct 3, 2018, 10:41 am
#2103
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: SAN
Programs: 1K (since 2008), *G (since 1990), 1MM
Posts: 3,219
Guy behind me in the ORD B6 lounge right now yelling into his cell phone at UA 1K line about how he is a "1K FLYING TO BANGKOK!" as he implores them to make some asinine change to their return flight. If I had a drink in me I would probably say "and clearly in coach, given that you're in this lounge".
Oct 3, 2018, 2:32 pm
#2104
Moderator: Smoking Lounge; FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: SFO
Programs: Lifetime (for now) Gold MM, HH Gold, Giving Tootsie Pops to UA employees, & a retired hockey goalie
Posts: 28,878
Here’s one about a DYKWIA who is also a ICTAPFAFASIJBAJTE (I can’t tell a pilot from a flight attendant so I’ll just be a jerk to everyone). The pure ignoramusity (new word) of this kind of stuff underwhelms me. This, from my First Officer and close friend on a recent flight she was flying:
“In uniform (because pilots wear pilot uniforms) I walk on to the plane and in to the flight deck while the passengers are boarding. My captain is doing the walk around. During my preflight, a first class passenger walked up to the cockpit door:
Pax: Excuse me
Me: Yes sir, how may I help you?
Pax: What are you doing?
Me: I am doing the preflight cockpit setup. Do you need help with something?
Pax: Yes! I need my beverage but you are dilly dallying up here and not doing your job! I am tired of lazy flight attendants!
Me: Well, I am your pilot, sir. I will be flying you to KXXX today. Can you wait a minute for that drink?
He spins around and walks out.
What century are we in, again?
FAB
“In uniform (because pilots wear pilot uniforms) I walk on to the plane and in to the flight deck while the passengers are boarding. My captain is doing the walk around. During my preflight, a first class passenger walked up to the cockpit door:
Pax: Excuse me
Me: Yes sir, how may I help you?
Pax: What are you doing?
Me: I am doing the preflight cockpit setup. Do you need help with something?
Pax: Yes! I need my beverage but you are dilly dallying up here and not doing your job! I am tired of lazy flight attendants!
Me: Well, I am your pilot, sir. I will be flying you to KXXX today. Can you wait a minute for that drink?
He spins around and walks out.
What century are we in, again?
FAB
Oct 3, 2018, 8:16 pm
#2105
Moderator: United Airlines
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: SFO
Programs: UA Plat 1.995MM, Hyatt Discoverist, Marriott Plat/LT Gold, Hilton Silver, IHG Plat
Posts: 66,854
A couple of side discussions have taken things a bit off topic
The seatbelt sign discussion has been moved to Seat belt sign is out of control at UA
The pre-boarding discussion has been moved to https://www.flyertalk.com/forum/unit...ep-2018-a.html
Let's return to examples of DYKWIA behavior
WineCountryUA
UA coModerator
The seatbelt sign discussion has been moved to Seat belt sign is out of control at UA
The pre-boarding discussion has been moved to https://www.flyertalk.com/forum/unit...ep-2018-a.html
Let's return to examples of DYKWIA behavior
WineCountryUA
UA coModerator
Last edited by WineCountryUA; Oct 3, 2018 at 8:25 pm
Oct 3, 2018, 11:07 pm
#2106
Join Date: Jul 2013
Programs: DYKWIA, But I'm a "Diamond Guest" UA 1K/2MM
Posts: 2,257
Decades ago, when I worked for Boeing on the EICAS, an engineer told me that they tried a female voice for the cockpit warnings for the more differentiated pitch and level of urgency. But the mostly male pilots were tuning it out. My suggestion to use James Earl Jones's voice was unfortunately dismissed.
Oct 3, 2018, 11:27 pm
#2107
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: PNS
Programs: DL FO, UA, AA
Posts: 700
Decades ago, when I worked for Boeing on the EICAS, an engineer told me that they tried a female voice for the cockpit warnings for the more differentiated pitch and level of urgency. But the mostly male pilots were tuning it out. My suggestion to use James Earl Jones's voice was unfortunately dismissed.
Oct 4, 2018, 1:45 am
#2108
Join Date: May 2015
Location: South Florida
Programs: DL Skymiles KE Skypass
Posts: 2,363
Here’s one about a DYKWIA who is also a ICTAPFAFASIJBAJTE (I can’t tell a pilot from a flight attendant so I’ll just be a jerk to everyone). The pure ignoramusity (new word) of this kind of stuff underwhelms me. This, from my First Officer and close friend on a recent flight she was flying:
“In uniform (because pilots wear pilot uniforms) I walk on to the plane and in to the flight deck while the passengers are boarding. My captain is doing the walk around. During my preflight, a first class passenger walked up to the cockpit door:
Pax: Excuse me
Me: Yes sir, how may I help you?
Pax: What are you doing?
Me: I am doing the preflight cockpit setup. Do you need help with something?
Pax: Yes! I need my beverage but you are dilly dallying up here and not doing your job! I am tired of lazy flight attendants!
Me: Well, I am your pilot, sir. I will be flying you to KXXX today. Can you wait a minute for that drink?
He spins around and walks out.
What century are we in, again?
FAB
“In uniform (because pilots wear pilot uniforms) I walk on to the plane and in to the flight deck while the passengers are boarding. My captain is doing the walk around. During my preflight, a first class passenger walked up to the cockpit door:
Pax: Excuse me
Me: Yes sir, how may I help you?
Pax: What are you doing?
Me: I am doing the preflight cockpit setup. Do you need help with something?
Pax: Yes! I need my beverage but you are dilly dallying up here and not doing your job! I am tired of lazy flight attendants!
Me: Well, I am your pilot, sir. I will be flying you to KXXX today. Can you wait a minute for that drink?
He spins around and walks out.
What century are we in, again?
FAB
Oct 5, 2018, 11:22 am
#2109
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: May 2008
Location: CHA, MAN;
Programs: Delta DM 1 MM; Hz PC
Posts: 11,169
Here’s one about a DYKWIA who is also a ICTAPFAFASIJBAJTE (I can’t tell a pilot from a flight attendant so I’ll just be a jerk to everyone). The pure ignoramusity (new word) of this kind of stuff underwhelms me. This, from my First Officer and close friend on a recent flight she was flying:
“In uniform (because pilots wear pilot uniforms) I walk on to the plane and in to the flight deck while the passengers are boarding. My captain is doing the walk around. During my preflight, a first class passenger walked up to the cockpit door:
Pax: Excuse me
Me: Yes sir, how may I help you?
Pax: What are you doing?
Me: I am doing the preflight cockpit setup. Do you need help with something?
Pax: Yes! I need my beverage but you are dilly dallying up here and not doing your job! I am tired of lazy flight attendants!
Me: Well, I am your pilot, sir. I will be flying you to KXXX today. Can you wait a minute for that drink?
He spins around and walks out.
What century are we in, again?
FAB
“In uniform (because pilots wear pilot uniforms) I walk on to the plane and in to the flight deck while the passengers are boarding. My captain is doing the walk around. During my preflight, a first class passenger walked up to the cockpit door:
Pax: Excuse me
Me: Yes sir, how may I help you?
Pax: What are you doing?
Me: I am doing the preflight cockpit setup. Do you need help with something?
Pax: Yes! I need my beverage but you are dilly dallying up here and not doing your job! I am tired of lazy flight attendants!
Me: Well, I am your pilot, sir. I will be flying you to KXXX today. Can you wait a minute for that drink?
He spins around and walks out.
What century are we in, again?
FAB
Oct 5, 2018, 12:55 pm
#2110
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Programs: UA 1K MM, HHonors Diamond,PC, Marriott Rewards Gold
Posts: 1,117
Nothing beats FAB posts!
Here’s one about a DYKWIA who is also a ICTAPFAFASIJBAJTE (I can’t tell a pilot from a flight attendant so I’ll just be a jerk to everyone). The pure ignoramusity (new word) of this kind of stuff underwhelms me. This, from my First Officer and close friend on a recent flight she was flying:
“In uniform (because pilots wear pilot uniforms) I walk on to the plane and in to the flight deck while the passengers are boarding. My captain is doing the walk around. During my preflight, a first class passenger walked up to the cockpit door:
Pax: Excuse me
Me: Yes sir, how may I help you?
Pax: What are you doing?
Me: I am doing the preflight cockpit setup. Do you need help with something?
Pax: Yes! I need my beverage but you are dilly dallying up here and not doing your job! I am tired of lazy flight attendants!
Me: Well, I am your pilot, sir. I will be flying you to KXXX today. Can you wait a minute for that drink?
He spins around and walks out.
What century are we in, again?
FAB
“In uniform (because pilots wear pilot uniforms) I walk on to the plane and in to the flight deck while the passengers are boarding. My captain is doing the walk around. During my preflight, a first class passenger walked up to the cockpit door:
Pax: Excuse me
Me: Yes sir, how may I help you?
Pax: What are you doing?
Me: I am doing the preflight cockpit setup. Do you need help with something?
Pax: Yes! I need my beverage but you are dilly dallying up here and not doing your job! I am tired of lazy flight attendants!
Me: Well, I am your pilot, sir. I will be flying you to KXXX today. Can you wait a minute for that drink?
He spins around and walks out.
What century are we in, again?
FAB
Oct 5, 2018, 10:00 pm
#2111
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: FL 290 through FL390
Posts: 1,687
She was pretty put off by that, but I told her the story of once, while standing by the rear door of a hotel shuttle (in my easily mistaken for a hotel bellhop or similar uniform) a lady walked up to me, dropped her bag at my feet, and said, “airport “. I said yes, ma’am.
That’s not quite m the same because I wasn’t as stereotyped as she was, but same idea.
FAB
Oct 5, 2018, 10:11 pm
#2112
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: FL 290 through FL390
Posts: 1,687
Thank you! I’ve been remiss, I know. When the thread about asking pilots stuff was active, I had more to contribute.
My my wife is pressing me to write some sort of memoir when I retire in 1 year, 1 month, and 12 days (and with the aforementioned first officer in my right seat). I have been collecting photos of the quirky stuff that we see day to day, as well as writing down stuff as I remember it. Maybe a blog or something is in the future. I’m not that tech-savvy though; the Airbus is a technological retro-jet these days and about as complicated as I can (or want to) deal with :O!
FAB
My my wife is pressing me to write some sort of memoir when I retire in 1 year, 1 month, and 12 days (and with the aforementioned first officer in my right seat). I have been collecting photos of the quirky stuff that we see day to day, as well as writing down stuff as I remember it. Maybe a blog or something is in the future. I’m not that tech-savvy though; the Airbus is a technological retro-jet these days and about as complicated as I can (or want to) deal with :O!
FAB
Oct 18, 2018, 5:41 pm
#2113
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ORD
Programs: UA 1K
Posts: 16,901
Classic case today. Jerk in the first row of E+ boards at the last minute. Packed plane all bins filled. He opens every one and tries to cram in his clearly oversized bag, likely crushing many people’s stuff. Finally to our amazement he finally finds a spot about 7 rows back. Then he tries to sneak his second carryon behind his feet, but the FA was having none of that. Then he slammed down his window shade, breaking it. Literally thrust his seat back into my knees. Boom. The list goes on and on.
The second we get to the gate gate he pops up and asks people to pass him up his bag, saying “just lift it up to your shoulders and pass it from person to person”!! No one was having any of that; and the last I saw of him he was still waiting for the tide of glowering people to pass by.
The second we get to the gate gate he pops up and asks people to pass him up his bag, saying “just lift it up to your shoulders and pass it from person to person”!! No one was having any of that; and the last I saw of him he was still waiting for the tide of glowering people to pass by.
Dec 10, 2018, 12:18 pm
#2114
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago, IL
Programs: UA 1K MM, DL Diamond, NK Gold, Mariott LT Plat/Titanium, Hyatt Globalist, Hilton Gold
Posts: 925
Sitting in the first row and watching Group 1 file by on a 319. A lady stops and says to the flight attendants "I'm Gold/Group 1. Can you hang this up?" They refuse and tell her they need the space for F. She huffs back to row 7. Puts her coat in the overhead and then comes back demanding water and some napkins. She informed them again that she was "Gold/Group 1." LOL.
Dec 14, 2018, 9:09 pm
#2115
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: DSM, BKK or anywhere with an airport
Programs: UA 2P, HH Gold
Posts: 1,018
Angry 1K
I was flying exSFO on a full 737 and sitting in 1B. One of the last to board was a woman who loudly was complaining to the flight attendants that she was 1K and paid $3000 for the ticket and had to sit in economy. She repeated this several times and how she couldn’t believe she had to sit in the back. It was all I could do to refrain from telling her I was a lowly 2P flying on a K-fare and had paid around $200 TOD at check in to fly in F ^ She was really perturbed when she had to gate check her bag b/c all the bins were full.