Going Home. Again
Dec 31, 2012 | 5:43 am
#1
Original Poster
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Denver, CO
Programs: UA GS-2MM, QF LTG, EK Gold, Marriott Amb, Hyatt Globalist
Posts: 4,006
Going Home. Again
Do you think if you were locked in an elevator with people you didn't know, the truth would come out. You know. The real truth. About your life.
For instance, lets just say you and I were locked in one. It wouldn't take very long for you to figure out that my family is just as dysfunctional as any TV family. And that's saying something.
Lets take my American family. As some of you know, I married a girl from Michigan. Like all marriages, you don't quite realize what you are getting yourself into until it is in fact, too late. Sort of like ordering a low fat, vegan meal on a long-haul flight and then wanting to change your mind onboard, when you see what everyone else is eating. And relatives are like an STD or a good set of luggage. You keep them forever. They never really go away.
But I digress.
My wife is the youngest of 5. She has one brother (who my friends in Australia assure me is a porn star, or was a porn star in another life). No matter how much porn I watch, I still haven't seen him in anything of note, but I will continue on my quest for the truth.
The rest of the siblings logically then are girls.
We, as in the family, started with 9 grandchildren. But now there are 10. The oldest sister-in-law decided that it would be a good idea to adopt a son (as she has 2 girls). Quite why is beyond me. Her oldest daughter (my niece) was already off in college (and who proudly displayed via her FaceSpace page that she was having the time of her life only dating African American track and field stars) and the youngest one cut her hair short, dressed only in black and then declared one Christmas that she was, from this moment onwards, only dating women.
I think I was the only one who cheered at the dinner table.
So one Christmas there were 9 kids. And at the next one, there were 10. But it sort of got off to a rocky start because my sister and brother-in-law decided to adopt a kid who's parents were drug dealers (allegedly). They took in a 15-year old boy, who not long after he arrived into his new family, promptly stole all their belongings and ran away.
There was much arm waving (even for Michiganders) and even my mother-in-law, who has a resting heart rate of around 12, started to get animated from the well worn crevices of her La-Z-Boy. It was all rather exciting. As my own sister says, "juice, baby, juice…"
Then to top it all off, this same sister-in-law decided to "throw the leg" with someone other than her own husband. More dramatics ensued, more arm waving and then a divorce. Kids were spread everywhere, houses were given away (or taken) and my mother-in-law blamed the whole thing on the fact that in her day, none of this happened because women stayed home while the men went off to work.
The very reason I am telling you all of this is because if we were in fact, stuck in an elevator, I would freely offer up all this personal information and more. But I would not, even if we were in there for days, admit to what I have just done in the last few months.
Seth Godin, the whimsical and slightly odd ball marketer, talks about the need to belong to a "tribe". To connect with this tribe means you need to understand them. To talk their language. To get what they do.
Nothing reeks more of a tribe than FT. I mean, seriously, could you really explain to someone this affliction we all have for status, miles and everything else that consumes our loyalty affected brains. I have tried to before. But within minutes, the other person has either run away, tells me they need to go to the bathroom or that I do in fact, have a serious mental health issue. And a drinking problem.
* * * * * * *
Let this be a lesson then for those who aren't yet married. And a sigh of understanding from those who are. My wife, as I have freely admitted before, is actually quite sane and rational. Her own mother would however disagree given her choice of husband.
Anyway, I was told about half way through this year that this would in fact, be our last year in Singapore. A place I have called home (on and off anyway) for the last 15 something years. The conversation went something like this...
"Do you remember our deal?" my wife said to me rather flippantly
"What deal?" I quipped
"The agreement we had that we were only going to do 3 years here. Do you ever listen to anything I say?"
I decided not to answer
"Well, do you?"
"Umm, sort of"
"Yes. The kids and I want to go home. As in to America…"
"Really?"
"Yes, remember our agreement?"
"What agreement?"
She held up her hand in the form a stop sign, indicating that this was in fact, the end of our discussion.
"I have already found a house" she went on to say
"Really?"
"Yes"
"And where pray tell, are we going?" I enquired
"Colorado"
"So thats settled then, we'll leave at the end of the year. Take care of the flights" she barked.
And that was pretty much it.
So what unfolds over the next few months is the Eightback family packing up all our belongings, saying good bye to friends, dealing with removalists, spending 15+ nights in 4 different hotels, renting a multitude of cars, kids trying to understand a new school system, both of the adults convincing their employers that it made sense to work from another country, plus dealing with a neurotic dog (and wait until you hear how much the damn canine cost to ship to the US). Oh, and someone kidnapping the cat. And me having to deal with the grief of losing our Filipino housekeeper.
Just as importantly, there was status to think of. I was miles behind on UA and AA and needed to get a wriggle on. Which is what I did. It's not pretty. It's not particularly funny. But it is all true.
And God help me if my wife finds out...I'll be back in a sec.
For instance, lets just say you and I were locked in one. It wouldn't take very long for you to figure out that my family is just as dysfunctional as any TV family. And that's saying something.
Lets take my American family. As some of you know, I married a girl from Michigan. Like all marriages, you don't quite realize what you are getting yourself into until it is in fact, too late. Sort of like ordering a low fat, vegan meal on a long-haul flight and then wanting to change your mind onboard, when you see what everyone else is eating. And relatives are like an STD or a good set of luggage. You keep them forever. They never really go away.
But I digress.
My wife is the youngest of 5. She has one brother (who my friends in Australia assure me is a porn star, or was a porn star in another life). No matter how much porn I watch, I still haven't seen him in anything of note, but I will continue on my quest for the truth.
The rest of the siblings logically then are girls.
We, as in the family, started with 9 grandchildren. But now there are 10. The oldest sister-in-law decided that it would be a good idea to adopt a son (as she has 2 girls). Quite why is beyond me. Her oldest daughter (my niece) was already off in college (and who proudly displayed via her FaceSpace page that she was having the time of her life only dating African American track and field stars) and the youngest one cut her hair short, dressed only in black and then declared one Christmas that she was, from this moment onwards, only dating women.
I think I was the only one who cheered at the dinner table.
So one Christmas there were 9 kids. And at the next one, there were 10. But it sort of got off to a rocky start because my sister and brother-in-law decided to adopt a kid who's parents were drug dealers (allegedly). They took in a 15-year old boy, who not long after he arrived into his new family, promptly stole all their belongings and ran away.
There was much arm waving (even for Michiganders) and even my mother-in-law, who has a resting heart rate of around 12, started to get animated from the well worn crevices of her La-Z-Boy. It was all rather exciting. As my own sister says, "juice, baby, juice…"
Then to top it all off, this same sister-in-law decided to "throw the leg" with someone other than her own husband. More dramatics ensued, more arm waving and then a divorce. Kids were spread everywhere, houses were given away (or taken) and my mother-in-law blamed the whole thing on the fact that in her day, none of this happened because women stayed home while the men went off to work.
The very reason I am telling you all of this is because if we were in fact, stuck in an elevator, I would freely offer up all this personal information and more. But I would not, even if we were in there for days, admit to what I have just done in the last few months.
Seth Godin, the whimsical and slightly odd ball marketer, talks about the need to belong to a "tribe". To connect with this tribe means you need to understand them. To talk their language. To get what they do.
Nothing reeks more of a tribe than FT. I mean, seriously, could you really explain to someone this affliction we all have for status, miles and everything else that consumes our loyalty affected brains. I have tried to before. But within minutes, the other person has either run away, tells me they need to go to the bathroom or that I do in fact, have a serious mental health issue. And a drinking problem.
* * * * * * *
Let this be a lesson then for those who aren't yet married. And a sigh of understanding from those who are. My wife, as I have freely admitted before, is actually quite sane and rational. Her own mother would however disagree given her choice of husband.
Anyway, I was told about half way through this year that this would in fact, be our last year in Singapore. A place I have called home (on and off anyway) for the last 15 something years. The conversation went something like this...
"Do you remember our deal?" my wife said to me rather flippantly
"What deal?" I quipped
"The agreement we had that we were only going to do 3 years here. Do you ever listen to anything I say?"
I decided not to answer
"Well, do you?"
"Umm, sort of"
"Yes. The kids and I want to go home. As in to America…"
"Really?"
"Yes, remember our agreement?"
"What agreement?"
She held up her hand in the form a stop sign, indicating that this was in fact, the end of our discussion.
"I have already found a house" she went on to say
"Really?"
"Yes"
"And where pray tell, are we going?" I enquired
"Colorado"
"So thats settled then, we'll leave at the end of the year. Take care of the flights" she barked.
And that was pretty much it.
So what unfolds over the next few months is the Eightback family packing up all our belongings, saying good bye to friends, dealing with removalists, spending 15+ nights in 4 different hotels, renting a multitude of cars, kids trying to understand a new school system, both of the adults convincing their employers that it made sense to work from another country, plus dealing with a neurotic dog (and wait until you hear how much the damn canine cost to ship to the US). Oh, and someone kidnapping the cat. And me having to deal with the grief of losing our Filipino housekeeper.
Just as importantly, there was status to think of. I was miles behind on UA and AA and needed to get a wriggle on. Which is what I did. It's not pretty. It's not particularly funny. But it is all true.
And God help me if my wife finds out...I'll be back in a sec.
Dec 31, 2012 | 8:54 am
#9
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: In thin air
Programs: UA
Posts: 293
Hope you have your winter wear out!
Have you noticed that the temperature here today in the land of "Mile HigH" is currently about 60 degrees F lower than that of Singapore? It seems to happen around this time each year.
Then there is that white stuff on the ground that is great for all those people who go to the mountains in an attempt to come back down in one piece with boards and other strange stuff attached to their feet. But this is snow! It gets frozen (i.e. It is cold like in the Land of Michigan). You have to shovel it (i know you know how to shovel some things. I read your TRs) You have to drive on it without becoming a topic of the morning traffic report (Driver from the tropics spins out on ice and causes a 200 car pileup closing the city!)
You will have to find a vet who makes house calls for the first time your dog decides to lick a frozen light pole and gets permanently stuck.
It's all part of adapting. Think positive: in only four or five months you will be able to put your winter wear away. Until then use ITA for flights to Latin America.
Then there is that white stuff on the ground that is great for all those people who go to the mountains in an attempt to come back down in one piece with boards and other strange stuff attached to their feet. But this is snow! It gets frozen (i.e. It is cold like in the Land of Michigan). You have to shovel it (i know you know how to shovel some things. I read your TRs) You have to drive on it without becoming a topic of the morning traffic report (Driver from the tropics spins out on ice and causes a 200 car pileup closing the city!)
You will have to find a vet who makes house calls for the first time your dog decides to lick a frozen light pole and gets permanently stuck.
It's all part of adapting. Think positive: in only four or five months you will be able to put your winter wear away. Until then use ITA for flights to Latin America.
Last edited by Thor3; Dec 31, 2012 at 9:42 am Reason: Spell checker misfire
Dec 31, 2012 | 9:01 am
#11
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Tulsa, OK
Programs: AA EXP, UA Silver, SPG Plat, Marriott Plat
Posts: 1,264
Ohhh another good one.
A SIN-DEN flight should be able to happen in 1 stop maybe 2.. I have a feeling this one will take 4 or 5 with several issues in between and a sand pit reference
A SIN-DEN flight should be able to happen in 1 stop maybe 2.. I have a feeling this one will take 4 or 5 with several issues in between and a sand pit reference
Dec 31, 2012 | 12:56 pm
#12
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Denver CO
Programs: HHonors Gold, National Emerald Club, no airline affinity status
Posts: 3,801
EightBlack, when did you get to Denver and why hasn't there been a grand celebration welcoming you here? Can't wait for the next installment to your adventure.
Dec 31, 2012 | 10:53 pm
#15
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Planet Earth(most days)
Programs: Hilton Honors, SPG, Marriott
Posts: 1,544
Oh my. From the start of this story, it sounds like you couldn't nearly consume the amount of alcohol needed for moving, let alone driving with kids.
I wish you luck and since you have provided us, or at least me, with some excellent entertainment (glad to hear you are much closer) to allow us to provide you with a drink or two.
Glad to see you made it back! The only question is, in how many pieces!
I wish you luck and since you have provided us, or at least me, with some excellent entertainment (glad to hear you are much closer) to allow us to provide you with a drink or two.
Glad to see you made it back! The only question is, in how many pieces!