flyrad

I have given upgrades to my wife and even turned some down when the coach seats were pretty bad (middle seat in a full row - yuck). Usually, we end up sitting together. In my upcoming trip to Hawaii, we have this situation again, but she is insisting that I take the upgrade and I'll keep the offer open to her. I don't know how this will play out, but it's never an issue with us in any case. Luckily, we did both get upgraded on the way back. I do my part by earning the upgrades with my status and gifting her with 2P/3P status every year as well.

jpdx

I'm with Jaimito on this one. What century do you guys live in? Where do you get your advice on these matters? Cosmo and Maxim's?

I have given up "superior" (exit, domestic F, or international C) seats to friends, family members, and my spouse, but I would never do that just because "she's the girl." Frankly, I would recommend reassessing the relationship with a spouse who expected this kind of treatment.

Now, in the situation described by the OP, with a person who's never flown upfront, the decision to give up the seat should have been easy. Especially since they were on vacation together. But I'm sure he paid for his mistake (which, of course, may in turn negatively impact the GF's chances to get the F seat on the return).

As for "declining the upgrade," I'd be interested in finding out how you guys do that -- my domestic upgrades usually clear 5 days out, and my spouse's three. Even if hers don't clear at that time, she usually has a good shot of clearing at the gate. Pray tell, when is the ideal window of time to decline an upgrade to make sure that you sit next to your spouse in Y? At the gate, when it'll be tough to get two adjacent Y seats? Or perhaps better not put in for an upgrade at all?

flyrad

The easiest situations to deal with the above is when upgrades clear at the gate for both. Assymetric clear windows can present problems. Usually, there is a way to work things out with a nice GA (exit rows are your friend).

driscj

Why would he leave the gf back in Y? Do you really have to ask?

To quote the annoying 'author' and former talkshow host who made a (brief) living telling women the bloody obvious:

"He's not that into her."

duchy

So what if the Plat in the couple is female ? And the male non status.
To me it's a "treat" given to a partner. They get a kick out of flying first for the first time whereas to me as the Plat it's just a short hop and I'm not going to get that same thrill so why not let them have a new experience (and I have an easier way of explaining why MRs need to be flown )
Actually though in this case I think the guy is a jerk-it obviously DOES matter to his girlfriend (whether it should or not is another matter and irrelevent) so as he got the upgrade on the way out-how hard would it be to say "If I get upgraded on the way home it's yours"

htb

I was referring to the original situation, where -- if my memory serves me right -- he got the upgrade.

HTB.

mapu

I wonder in what way he had to pay for letting her sit in cattle class? No sex? A weekend with the in-laws?

voop

....I've had an UG offered when traveling with my SO. I asked if it was possible for both of us to get UGed -- it wasn't. I then declined the UG, since we were traveling for the purpose of being together on a vacation, not to have a super-cool-flying-experience in opposite ends of the A/C. Got exit-row together instead, which was fine and we had a great trip...and we're still together.

GadgetFreak

That is about all that needs to be said

FlyerBeek

This is exactly what my girlfriend does... and it really annoys me.

Ladies: if your BF/SO offers you the upgrade, take it!

On the few times that only one upgrade has cleared between my GF and I, I always offer her the F seat and she absolutely refuses to take it. Now, there's no way I'm sitting up there with her in the back, but it really bothers me that she doesn't get to have a more comfortable ride regardless of where I'm sitting. Instead, someone we don't even know gets it and we both suffer back in coach.

Ironically, last time this happened the two people behind us on the upgrade list were a married couple and it was the guy who took the F seat leaving his wife sitting across from us in Y.

-FlyerBeek

ancienthills

This happened to our family one time. We are a group of 2 adults and 2 children. We were offered an upgrade from coach to business for 2. We all flipped for it. Parent vs Parent and child vs child. My eldest son and I lost, but next time it happens then it is our turn !

Jaimito Cartero

I did something similar with my teenager. However, it was Ro-Sham-Bo. For some reason, I usually lose, so that's no fun!

old_vine_zin

My true life example:

My live-in GF (of 4 years) and I travel a lot. I have status and she doesn't. When I get tickets I always book us in the same class with adjacent seats. I book us plenty of time in advance and we check in together so there is no mistake we are traveling as a couple despite having different surnames. There has only been one time that I was offered an upgrade and she wasn't. She would in no way sit in a different section than me by choice nor would I. In the case where I was offered an UG and she wasn't, I simply asked the GA to give the upgrade to the one of the men in military uniform waiting to board as a show of our appreciation and kept my coach seat.

Rewind the clock 6 years. My ex-wife did not work, expected to travel with me to any and all of the choice destinations I went to for work but not the non-glamorous locations. Company bought my ticket, I bought hers. She was very high maintenance and appreciated nothing. She would never have even considered thanking me for giving her the UG because I travel up front much more than she got to. Giving her the UG was what she expected to happen. The times that I was offered the UG and she wasn't, I would not only relish the idea of 2 - 4 hours away from her but I would usually hope for an extensive ground hold after leaving the gate Although she was ALWAYS mad that I didn't give her the UG, I never did give it to her and I did not consider myself a jerk.

So, possibly there are factors involved in the decision that are invisible to us as outsiders. So I will assume that the BF is innocent until proven beyond a doubt that he is guilty of a greater infraction. However, I won't lose sight of the fact that there is a chance that he is just a jerk that was not taught manners growing up.

mkt

I'd decline the upgrade, either both right up front or none of us do.

If it's a widebody though, and there's an empty middle row, I'd ask for that to get stretching room.

Kettering Northants QC

This happens all the time. I regularly see, what I assume to be, family members sitting in different cabins.

I flew back from JNB with Virgin in PE sitting next to the wife of one of the Directors of Virgin (accompanying him on Business Trip)- he was in Upper Class. She said if they both can't secure Upper Class (Paying Customers always take priority apparantly) then they take it in turns. She said she's sometimes been in UC and her husband was back in Y.