Just sprayed coke across the desk! ^ ^ ^

I prefer to yell out " Keep talking Colonel, we'll find ya!"

Impressive observations and conclusion! In fact, your results corroborates NDDK's (National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Disease) own conclusion on this issue.

Conclusion
Although gas may be uncomfortable and embarrassing, it is not life-threatening. Understanding causes, ways to reduce symptoms, and treatment will help most people find some relief.

Thanks. now I have to change my drawers

Am I the only person who can contain their gas until reaching the lav or the terminal bathroom?

Apparently so.

"72.4% of all flyers are honest about farting and making a stink the other 27.6% are all liars "

"you know when you are in trouble when you dont like the smell of your own farts"

Otherwise known in our family as an 'Edward Woodward.

I don't have problems with flatulence whilst flying.
I pay the next day, and maybe the day after

(Perhaps one of the main unsaid reasons as to why long distance relationships often don't last long!)

I must not get involved... I must not get involved... I must...

No, fortunately. I also hope others around me do not either.

Just got back from 4 hours of flying today and I was tooting it up the entire time! I think it might be because I was thinking about this thread, but it was really bad today.

I've also decided that airport/airplane food doesn't help. I don't think those stupid nut mixes and/or the cheeseburger and fries with a Sam Adams from Chili's in the B concourse of ORD really helped.

lifes a gas hey ???

The teacher walks into the room and says... "OK class todays word is DEFINITLY, can anyone use the word in a sentence."

Little Susie stands up and say "The sky is DEFINITLY blue."

The teacher says; "Not necisarrily Susie, it can be blue, gray, or black, but nice try."

Little Johnny is in the back of the room and is waving his hands back and forth.

The teacher says " Yes Johnny, What is it?"

Johnny says " I have a question."

OK lets hear it, says the teacher.

Johnny says "Do Farts have lumps?"

The teacher says, "Well no they don't."

Little Johnny says "Well then I DEFINITLY just filled my pants!!!"

John is in Amsterdam and visits a nudist colony there.

While wandering around naked he spots a gorgeous blonde and he immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over and says "Sir, did you call for me?"

John replies: "No!"

She says "Well, it's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it means you called for me."

She then layes him down and starts making love to him.

Later that day John visits the sauna, but as he sits down he farts. A huge big hairy guy get up, drops his towel to show a huge erection and says "Sir, did you call for me?"

John replies, "No!"

The man says, "It's a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The man then knocks John to the floor and has his way with him.

As soon as he's finished John rushes back to his room, grabs all his things and heads for the exit. On his way out he's stopped by the manager he askes "Can I help you ?"

John says "Here's my room keys I'm leaving early"

The manager asks why and John replies "I'm 60 years old, I get an erection once a week but I fart 20 times a day !!"

Great line in Bill Simmons week six Football column today.

"This has nothing to do with Week Six, but to the person who kept farting somewhere around the 10th row of the 12:54 PM United flight from Denver to Los Angeles yesterday ... may you burn in hell."

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...immons/0510121