luitje

bevan7

Flying a turbo prop in New Zealand in 2004 our post landing message was along the lines of "be careful when opening the overhead bins as shift happens".

catcher1

You may have misheard. Maybe there wasn't an "f".

safari ari

Delayed some time in LHR at T3, "It seems our catering has been loaded on the wrong plane in T5, they are working quickly to shuttle it to us now, but being LHR you can expect that it won't be."

witthuus

muji

DragonSoul

1983/4 thereabouts: "Contrary to one passenger's assertion, we are not serving Shergar on this flight."


(Perhaps not so funny considering terrorists/IRA/horrible death of horse.)

darthbimmer

FA on a flight years ago offered a twist on a common line: "We know you have a choice of airlines. We hope you've enjoyed giving us the business as much as we've enjoyed taking you for a ride."

Proudelitist

One of the reasons I avoid WN is because of the cornball, camp counsellor chuminness and wisecracks. I find it undignified and akin to being behind an old guy in a store or who, when asked "How can I help you?" responds with "By giving me a million dollars!". It's usually grandpa humor at the level of "working hard or hardly working?". What's more, it feels forced and only the kettles fall for it.

That said, there was one incident I found amusing a few years back, and sadly, yes, it was on WN. We just landed at LAS and the FA announced "Welcome to Lost Wages!". Now, this joke in itself is obvious and cliched, but the amusing part was how the locals..as in the people who actually live in Las Vegas...were offended. I overheard more than a few get indignant and offended. After all, who in their right minds would insult the Shangri La utopia that is the city of Las Vegas?

lowmiles

Because everyone knows, everyone WINS in Las Vegas and to suggest anything completely different is highly offensive..

danielonn

Another one on British Airways

"This Airbus 380 has an upstairs and a downstairs. So this means the Jetty will be brought up to the 2nd floor no elevator required".

Proudelitist

Yes, of course! And the rest of the city off strip is simply a gorgeous landscape of cleanliness and advancement, with absolutely no suspicious looking loitering drug addicts, litter or any glut of payday loans and bail bonds shops. Or, as people from Vegas love to say "But but but Henderson!"

travellingref

From the captain as we were taxing "Welcome aboard this EasyJet flight to Copenhagen". Cue general consternation amongst the passengers. Captain "Sorry, I meant Prague. Copenhagen's later".

inlanikai

Many years ago on a flight on WN from PBI to ISP with an after 10 pm arrival, we were taxing to the gate and as part of the usual "thank you for flying ..." FA announcement, the FA added: " ... and if you are transferring here at Long Island MacArthur .. you need a new travel agent".

honest_abe

Many years ago, we were taxiing for takeoff in Phoenix. We turned and started rolling down the runway as the plane accelerated. Suddenly, the reverse thrusters and brakes caused the plane to violently shake and luggage in the (then open type) overheads started falling out. It was obvious we were in trouble and the plane leaned hard as we turned off the main runway at an excessive speed. As the plane slowed down, the flight attendant came on over the intercom and calmly stated "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport where the local time is ...". She actually went through the whole spiel. What had for a bit had nail-biting passengers wondering if this was the end turned into laughter. A minute later the pilot made an announcement over the intercom that a small plane had decided to take off on our runway from the other end towards us and that, even though we were much larger, he decided that discretion was the better part of valor and vacated the runway. A few minutes later, we headed back to our runway.

I can't even imagine what the tower had to say to that small plane's pilot. After all, while once as a student pilot in a Piper Cherokee, I was about to land with my instructor at Albuquerque Airport when I calmly asked him if I should go over the other small plane that was sitting on our runway. He turned white then called the tower who diverted us to the main east/west runway. Then the tower basically screamed at the pilot sitting below us demanding to know "what the hell are you doing there" and "get off the damn runway NOW!" Apparently, the pilot misunderstood taxiing to the runway meant he was to stop short of it. And I was too dumb to understand that a stopped plane fifty feet below me was in any way a danger to my "perfect" landing technique.