Go Back  FlyerTalk Forums > Travel&Dining > TravelBuzz
Reload this Page >

Funniest inflight announcements

Funniest inflight announcements

Reply

Old Dec 6, 18, 2:15 pm
  #1  
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Original Poster
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: LAX-SNA
Programs: BA Gold, AF Silver, UA 1K, USdbaAA EXP
Posts: 18,557
Funniest inflight announcements

I couldn't find an existing thread but I had to laugh at this one on yesterday's YUL-ORD Republic flight, from excellent FA Bonnie.
"...To enhance the appearance of your cabin crew, we are going to dim the cabin lights for taxi and take-off..."
Billiken, fairhsa, Jaytara and 6 others like this.
SFO777 is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 2:33 pm
  #2  
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: BOS<>NYC<>BKK
Programs: UA GS/3.8MM; AA1MM; Amtrak S+; MAR LT PP; PC Plat; HIL DIA; HYA GLOB
Posts: 3,512
Long ago when airlines were in tough financial shape:

We know you have a choice of bankrupt airlines, and we thank you for choosing ours.
wxguy is online now  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 4:00 pm
  #3  
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: New York NY
Programs: UA Gold, CO Plat, CO Million Miler
Posts: 2,465
We know that everyone of you knows how to fasten and unfasten a seat belt, but we still have to tell you that, to fasten, insert the metal fitting into the buckle, adjust to fit snugly with the loose end of the strap and simply lift the buckle release to unfasten.
hughw is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 4:05 pm
  #4  
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Switzerland
Programs: UA 1K, Marriott Platinum
Posts: 4,751
On a flight from IAH-AMA: “In the extremely unlikely event that we have to make a water landing on this flight across West Texas...”
dinoscool3 is online now  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 4:17 pm
  #5  
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: SLC, Ut ,USA
Programs: AAdvantage, Skymiles, Mileage Plus, BA Executive Club, WorldPerks
Posts: 368
From the mid '80s IIRC.

Welcome to Salt Lake City. Please set your watches back fifty years
xela and muji like this.
ss278 is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 4:33 pm
  #6  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: South Yorkshire, UK
Programs: A3*G, LH FTL, VS Red, Avis Preferred, Hertz President's Circle, (RIP Diamond Club)
Posts: 1,628
We have arrived 30 minutes ahead of schedule so please consider that banked for any future delays you may experience.
fairhsa, muji, 4004 and 1 others like this.
roberino is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 4:34 pm
  #7  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: South Yorkshire, UK
Programs: A3*G, LH FTL, VS Red, Avis Preferred, Hertz President's Circle, (RIP Diamond Club)
Posts: 1,628
Thank you for letting ****Air take you for a ride
muji likes this.
roberino is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 4:36 pm
  #8  
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: South Yorkshire, UK
Programs: A3*G, LH FTL, VS Red, Avis Preferred, Hertz President's Circle, (RIP Diamond Club)
Posts: 1,628
When you hear “brace brace” out your head between your legs and kiss your arse goodbye
roberino is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 5:24 pm
  #9  
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: NorCal - 1K 2MM
Posts: 1,956
The start of the life vest announcement: "This aircraft is capable of landing on water, once."
MEABFlyer, 4004 and dchambric like this.
Starman is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 7:12 pm
  #10  
FlyerTalk Evangelist
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: New York, NY
Programs: BAEC Gold, Hilton Diamond, Marriott Gold, SPG Gold, AMEX Platinum (US)
Posts: 17,944
"In the event of cabin depressurization oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling above. If you find yourself in the washroom two oxygen masks will fall. Don't wonder why there are two oxygen masks, but put just one of them on"
Fraser is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 7:18 pm
  #11  
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Coast NSW, Australia
Programs: UA and SQ; Hilton, Fairmont, Marriott, Rydges Priority
Posts: 174
After a VERY heavy landing.
”Welcome to Singapore where the local time is 7pm.
As the captain taxis what’s left of this aircraft to the terminal we request all passengers remain seated........”
grapegrower is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 7:27 pm
  #12  
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Programs: AA PlatPro/2MM, Marr LTP, HH Gold
Posts: 653
1) Pilot, after rough landing: "As you can tell, we just hit town."

2) FA as taxiing to gate after landing: "Please keep your seat belt on while taxiing to the gate. We'd hate to have you arrive at the terminal before the rest of the plane."
4004 likes this.
bosman is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 7:33 pm
  #13  
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Southern California
Programs: AA EXPlat; HHonors Diamond
Posts: 355
On landing (JetBlue): "We are seeking volunteers to help clean the cabin after we reach the gate. If you would like to volunteer, please stand up before the airplane has come to a complete stop."
catcher1 is online now  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 8:31 pm
  #14  
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Programs: UA GS ,QF Plat
Posts: 398
West Jet Captain - During the flight as we can't get a vending machine through the door the Flight attendants will be serving you a range of beverages
FA comeback - Thanks captain...... ,does everyone on board know the difference between a pilot and god ? ...... god doesn't think he is a pilot
SFO777, EKorSQ, MEABFlyer and 4 others like this.
wanderingkev is offline  
Reply With Quote
Old Dec 6, 18, 9:07 pm
  #15  
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: USA
Programs: AA Exp
Posts: 72
Originally Posted by ss278 View Post
From the mid '80s IIRC.

Welcome to Salt Lake City. Please set your watches back fifty years
I had the same announcement on a flight into Winnipeg on UA.
SJWarrior is offline  
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Search this Thread
 
  • Ask a Question
    Get answers from community experts
Question Title:
Description:
Your question will be posted in: