taxidrivernj

Female flight attendant: "There must be at least a 100 ways to make love, but only six ways out of this plane so please pay attention."

wrp96

Please use caution when opening the overhead bins because after THAT landing things will definitely have shifted.

brobin

"For those of you who haven't ridden in a car since 1961, to fasten your seatbelt insert the tab into..."
"Ladies and gentlemen, on the flight deck tonight we have Captain Ed Smith and our First Officer, Justin Case."
"Ladies and gentlemen, Good news, the captain has found the airport! In preparation for landing please return your seatbacks to their upright and most uncomfortable position."

flyslow

Couple of years ago on flyDubai DXB-BKK, predeparture announcement from pilot "And after the takeoff we'll be making quite sharp turn towards West.. What? You sure? Apologies ladies and gentlemen, that turn to West could also be to East, we'll figure it out when we're airborne"

guv1976

Although this announcement was made on a bus, not a plane, I hope that you all will find it thread-worthy.
​​​​​
Bus Driver: "There is no smoking permitted anywhere on this bus at any time. If I see smoke coming from anywhere around your person, I will assume that you are on fire, and will put you out!"

BSpeaker

While I understand where you're coming from, I think the casual atmosphere and dad jokes serve an important purpose. I've been on many a "dignified" flight flying up and down the east coast. Everyone in DC/NYC Business Attire, looking serious or at least trying to. The one thing that struck me was how few of them paid any attention at all to the FA's. Personally I find that insulting and degrading to the people who we'll all have to depend on should we have a Captn Sully/Hudson River situation. I don't care how many flights you've been on or how many times you've heard the patter. Put down your damned paper and look at the FA. If you tune him/her out, there might be some important information you miss. And it doesn't hurt to take a moment and count the number of seats to the exit. I've been on one of those "unscheduled landings" and trust me, even with millions of air miles, I was shaken badly and confused for a moment. I do count the seats if I'm not in an exit row, and even then I look for other exit rows.

It's amazing how far we've come in the less than 70 years since commercial aviation became available, and probably more like 40 years since it became commonplace. We take this ride in a lounge chair 38,000 feet in the air and think nothing of it. If FA's have to dance, joke, clown around, or make dad jokes to get people to pay attention, then good. We frequent fliers should pay attention, too, because we'll be the ones helping the people who couldn't stop reading their magazine or checking their phones. I would prefer WN over AA or UA any day, and the FA's make it fun.

tracon

UA landing in SFO
"now that the safest part of your journey is over, please be careful on the drive home."


WS a couple years ago.
"The light button in the overhead panel will turn on the reading light.
Pushing the f/a button will not turn on the flight attendant."

rbwpi

The FA made the following announcement on a WN flight after landing, while taxing to the terminal at FLL.

"Tonight on board we have twin brothers celebrating their 80th birthday with their first flight ever". After the applause dies down she continues. "On the way out feel free to stop by the cockpit and wish them a happy birthday".
.

quickben

Kulula in South Africa (the cheaper version of BA/Comair) used to advise pax as part of the safety briefing that the smoking area was just outside the emergency exit i.e. on the wing but they seemed to have throttled back the humour when I flew with them recently

ben-y

A number of years ago, flying into Phoenix late at night in August: "Welcome to Sky Harbor Airport, where the temperature is a balmy 40 degrees." -- which it was. Not everybody can automatically convert between Fahrenheit and Centigrade.

flyslow

Not an announcement as such, but now defunct Estonian Air used to have a captain called Yuri Gagarin. Always caused a chuckle on the plane when he was introduced.

Proudelitist

It's not up to the FA's to get passengers to listen. It's up to the passengers to listen in the first place. The responsibility is ours.

Besides, many tune out the cornball stuff too.

Proudelitist

I had a similar incident years ago, and I don't think it was intentional or meant as a joke. Just before pushback on a flight to Tucson, the Captain gets on the PA and says "Welcome aboard this evening on our flight to Tulsa". Cue passengers getting freaked out that they are on the wrong flight...Captain comes back a few seconds later on and says "Tucson! Sorry! I mean Tucson!!"

chrisl137

I heard a variant of that, also on a WN flight. "For those of you who smoke: This is California, good luck."

KRSW

On a WN flight this year, "We know you have a choice in airlines, and if you weren't so cheap you'd be flying on Delta... so we thank you for choosing us instead."