On a recent regional flight to IAD there was a very nice if somewhat green FA onboard. As English wasn't his first language that combined with what appeared to be some slight nervousness to make for some interesting announcements. These were my favorites: on landing he said, very happily "Ladies and gentlemen - we made it!" (Was there concern we wouldn't?). He also informed us to "Be careful when opening the overhead bins as you will be injured" and asked us to "please remain seated until the plane has departed before leaving the plane."
I wanted to check and see if the overhead bins had a parachute as I didn't know I was supposed to bring one but didn't want the guaranteed injury either...

Who else has some good ones?

(I thought I remembered another thread but didn't see anything recent when searching)

Southwest. Pretty much on every their flight.

+1 on the Southwest announcements. Somehow they always manage to make me laugh.

I'm sure most of y'all have seen the FA rapping the safety demonstration spiel on WN, but for those of you who haven't...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiXGm_TiRVQ

"Ladies and gentlemen, please take a quick look at the seat belts buckled in your laps."

<everyone looks at their buckled seat belts>

"Now I'll quickly demonstrate how they got that way."

AA, June 2007 -- we had just come in on the redeye from HNL, and were now on the 630am flight DFW-IAD; MD-80 was maybe half full ... the FA (he appeared to be mid-50s, grey hair and glasses) did the oxygen mask demo ** I am not kidding ** with a rubber chicken

A few years ago flying from Stockholm (ARN) to Cologne (CGN) with German Wings (4U).

As they have unassigned seating then when boarding started people were rushing on and grabing seats near the front.

The FA then announced "Ladies and gentlemen, FYI the rear of the plane is also flying to Cologne!"

A female FA on an AA flight a few months back. I've posted some of the lines here but her every single announcement from pre-departure to deplaning was hilarious. And she said them always with a straight face. Unbelievable.

People Express: "Please be sure to check the overhead compartments for any personal belongings or small children that you may have placed there."

JFK to SFO recently, a flight attendant sang a good night song to us as we taxi'd in. I have a low tolerance for corny F/A (or pilot) PAs, but I have to say, she actually had a good voice and it was quite charming!

Upon landing on a ORD-SFO UA flight last year: "We remind you that smoking is prohibited until you are outside the State of California"

Quite a few years ago, right before a flight across Washington State (on Horizon Air):

"In the *extremely* unlikely event that we have a water landing between Pasco and Seattle..."

She made some other funny announcements, but that's the only one that stuck with me.

On our last Southwest flight, we had the singing stewardess. She sings lounge style, and her songs have been chronicled on You Tube. Put a smile on my face.

I read about but did not personally hear this one which allegedly happened in Australia.
"Cabin crew arm doors and cross-dress"

Southwest announcements don't amuse me...they are just a little too saccharine. But I heard a funny (non-WN) announcement today on an American Eagle flight from TVC to ORD. We were delayed because of rain and the pilot announced (prior to departure) that we'd cross Lake Michigan over to Green Bay then fly down the coast (as opposed to crossing Lake Michigan closer to Chicago). When we finally landed, we took the scenic route to the terminal. When we eventually got to the gate, the pilot came on the PA to say, "Welcome to Chicago. We actually landed at Milwaukee and taxied the rest of the way."

Departing HNL one night, we really took the long way 'round and seemed to taxi forever to get to the runway. As we were rolling along, the pilot gets on the intercom, gives his spiel welcoming us etc. and says "...and we've decided we're going to drive you to Bellingham tonight".