Why the need to sit together
#31
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: BNA
Posts: 1,798
I'm surprised that only happened to you once. It is a very common scam to try to get you to switch into a middle seat with the excuse of, "Wouldn't you like to sit next to your friend?" Since I always pick an aisle seat, I get asked to swap all the time. And, yes, I'm tired of it. It is not like only one person, once in a while, asks. It is that I am constantly asked, probably because I'm small. I don't feel like answering the same question multiple times. The answer is "no" and, though I try to be polite, sometimes it's probably a pretty curt "no." The person asking knows -- or should know -- that they're asking you to take a bad seat, so I don't particularly care about their feelings either, since they demonstrably don't care about mine. If you want me to take a middle seat, offer me cash, don't offer me a friend I already have and found all by myself. That's just cheap, cheesy, and sleazy. OK, rant over.
#32
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Newport Beach, California, USA
Posts: 36,062
When I travel with family, the number one reason for wanting to sit together (in coach) is because if I'm going to be in extremely close physical quarters for many hours, I'd rather be next to family than to a stranger, particularly if the other individual is generous in size.
In cramped quarters, I'd rather my wife share my space than some stranger. That doesn't mean we won't travel if we can't get seats together -- that happens often. We won't self-combust. However, we're both more comfortable when pressed up against each other, as opposed to pressed up against strangers.
#33




Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: NOC/LAX
Posts: 444
The question, "why the heck do you NEED to sit together??" in reference to those who don't book seats together but then go out of their way to badger/guilt/annoy others into swapping seats for them, is a valid question. But it makes no sense to question why, given the option, people would rather share a cramped space with a friend/family member as opposed to a total stranger. The reasons are obvious.
#34
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: MSY
Programs: NW Gold and now Delta Gold
Posts: 3,072
It's a scam. Especially when the person they imply is my "friend" is a total stranger that I said like two words to, just to be polite. You're not five two, are you? Trust me. There's an assumption that if you're little, you have a little brain, and you can be pushed around. I'm really sick of it. Really!
#35
FlyerTalk Evangelist




Join Date: Jul 2010
Programs: AA, Mucci!
Posts: 16,612
On my next trip (with a large group) a lady is traveling with us who is a nervous traveller. This is only her third plane trip. We have promised her husband that one of us will sit next to her on every flight. If making sure she sits next to someone she knows let's this person travel and see the world, I can't see the problem with that. On her first trip, flights didn't go as planned due to a hurricane. So on the flights she ended up on she was separated from her husband. Was it really so wrong to ask people to switch seats so a nervous flyer could be comforted - when not in a situation of her own making?
#36
Original Poster



Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: BOS
Programs: UA, Hertz Gold, AA Gold, DL Silver
Posts: 826
I should add that I have no problem when people book seats so they are next to each other. My issue is with people who don't want to pay for seats in advance and then freak out because they are not sitting with their traveling partner once the airline assigns their seats for free.
Valid points on both sides, especially when sitting next to a stranger we are likely 10 inches closer to them than we would prefer.
Valid points on both sides, especially when sitting next to a stranger we are likely 10 inches closer to them than we would prefer.
#37
FlyerTalk Evangelist




Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 13,595
My mother is 5'2 and softly spoken and mild mannered to boot. No one scams her any more than they do taller me. If you are talking to someone, it's not an unreasonable assumption that you know them, so I think you are reading far more into it than there is - they made a snap call you knew each other and asked is you wanted to trade. It's hardly difficult to say 'no thanks' in any case.
It's a scam. Especially when the person they imply is my "friend" is a total stranger that I said like two words to, just to be polite. You're not five two, are you? Trust me. There's an assumption that if you're little, you have a little brain, and you can be pushed around. I'm really sick of it. Really!
#38




Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Usually GIG
Programs: Smiles Diamante, dirt elsewhere
Posts: 1,064
On top of everything that has already been said here about the advantages of sitting together, I'll add this one: my wife is a really nervous flyer, and I much rather have her near me where I can keep her calm.
#39
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend




Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Minneapolis: DL DM charter 2.3MM
Programs: A3*Gold, SPG Plat, HyattDiamond, MarriottPP, LHW exAccess, ICI, Raffles Amb, NW PE MM, TWA Gold MM
Posts: 102,617
Then you can lay at her feet during the flight and not pay for a ticket.
OTOH, the airline won't supply F&B, except maybe water if you behave well.
#40
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Formerly at PIT, now planted near MSP.
Programs: No flights since April 2019 (Medical Issues). Lost all my status.
Posts: 1,483
NY Times: "Etiquette vs. Entitlement in a Scramble for Seats"
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/10/bu...road.html?_r=1
..... “Would you mind switching seats so my wife and I can sit together?” he asked. The wife was looking at me hopefully. Actually, I did mind. I had paid extra for that aisle seat, using an airline credit card that also gave me priority boarding — which meant I was assured that I would have space in an overhead bin near my seat for my carry-on. The extra fee, $20, had bought me a slightly less crummy coach seat on the aisle, but I was happy to have it. .....
..... In a telephone interview, Mr. Cohen said that he thought that some people traveling together on leisure trips exhibited a “sense of entitlement” about being able to sit together. He recalled a recent flight on which a woman sitting in the aisle seat across from him was badgered into giving up her seat and moving a few rows farther back by a couple who insisted on sitting together. The flight attendant also told the woman to swap, and thus “became a tool of this couple to get their way,” Mr. Cohen said. .....
..... “Would you mind switching seats so my wife and I can sit together?” he asked. The wife was looking at me hopefully. Actually, I did mind. I had paid extra for that aisle seat, using an airline credit card that also gave me priority boarding — which meant I was assured that I would have space in an overhead bin near my seat for my carry-on. The extra fee, $20, had bought me a slightly less crummy coach seat on the aisle, but I was happy to have it. .....
..... In a telephone interview, Mr. Cohen said that he thought that some people traveling together on leisure trips exhibited a “sense of entitlement” about being able to sit together. He recalled a recent flight on which a woman sitting in the aisle seat across from him was badgered into giving up her seat and moving a few rows farther back by a couple who insisted on sitting together. The flight attendant also told the woman to swap, and thus “became a tool of this couple to get their way,” Mr. Cohen said. .....
#41



Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,658
RRDD, that article was unintentionally hilarious. cohen "always paid for a full-fare first-class seat" and is complaining about seat-swap requests from people who "are often upgrades to first class traveling on cheaper coach fares." sorry to break it to you, mr. firster-than-first class, but there's only one first class.
this topic comes up pretty often. there is no special rule: everyone is entitled to ask to change seats, but no one is entitled to insist on one. and separated couples should remember that they have two choices for which seat to offer in trade, and offering the better one is more likely to be well-received than offering the worse (e.g., when i was upgraded and separated from my spouse, i happily gave up my F seat to be next to my spouse in coach).
this topic comes up pretty often. there is no special rule: everyone is entitled to ask to change seats, but no one is entitled to insist on one. and separated couples should remember that they have two choices for which seat to offer in trade, and offering the better one is more likely to be well-received than offering the worse (e.g., when i was upgraded and separated from my spouse, i happily gave up my F seat to be next to my spouse in coach).
#42




Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Usually GIG
Programs: Smiles Diamante, dirt elsewhere
Posts: 1,064
#43
Suspended
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 22,778
+1
Between work and other obligations, I have little down time with my husband. I strongly prefer to sit with him on flights so we can have a drink together and catch up without an interruption.
We've never asked anyone to move, but on the extremely rare occasion when we have been seated separately, one of the passengers next to us has offered without any solicitation.
Between work and other obligations, I have little down time with my husband. I strongly prefer to sit with him on flights so we can have a drink together and catch up without an interruption.
We've never asked anyone to move, but on the extremely rare occasion when we have been seated separately, one of the passengers next to us has offered without any solicitation.
#44
Suspended
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 22,778
We don't know if he he can or cannot lay at her feet. I hope someone doesn't get all bent out of shape about emotional support animals and go on a tangent, "are you a qualified medical professional?"
I hope you are not offended Mr FlyingRabbit. My apologies in advance for a little fun.
#45




Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 639
Right on the nose!
In cramped quarters, I'd rather my wife share my space than some stranger. That doesn't mean we won't travel if we can't get seats together -- that happens often. We won't self-combust. However, we're both more comfortable when pressed up against each other, as opposed to pressed up against strangers.
In cramped quarters, I'd rather my wife share my space than some stranger. That doesn't mean we won't travel if we can't get seats together -- that happens often. We won't self-combust. However, we're both more comfortable when pressed up against each other, as opposed to pressed up against strangers.
I would not ask someone to switch seats with me, but given the personal space issue, I will admit to being mildly annoyed by people travelling together who take aisle/window of a 3-across row.

