1. Not keeping the drinks full. I'm not saying that it should be refilled after every sip (which can be annoying), but I can't count how many times I've had a glass sit empty for 5-10 minutes or longer. Also, if refilling ice water or ice tea, it's annoying when the glass is totally full of ice. A couple sips and it's empty. Replace the glass if it's so full of ice that it's being drained quickly. This is probably my biggest pet peeve (mainly because it's so common), and will have a huge impact on the tip.

2. Not being attentive. A good waiter or waitress will notice which drinks need to be refilled and will take care of it without being asked. An excellent waitress will notice which sweetener people are using with their ice tea and restock if it's low. (I've only had a couple do this, and they got very big tips.)

3. Not sending over a manager (without asking) when there's a problem. Even if it's just a small problem, this shows that the waiter or waitress wants to make sure that the customer has a good experience. I've had some times when multiple things were messed up and I've had to ask to talk to a manager, and once when the waitress refused to send a manager even after asking.

4. Not having prices, choices, and refill policy listed on the menu for soft drinks and tea.

5. Upselling extra items in a deceptive manner. If I order an entree and the waitress asks "Would you rather have soup or salad with that?" when neither is included as part of the entree, I expect them to tell me that it's extra. A surprise when the ticket comes will mean a smaller tip.

6. Dirty tables, silverware, glasses or plates.

7. Setting things down in front of little kids. They'll grab whatever you put in front of them. That's why everything is moved to the other side of the table. Don't put my drink within reach of my kids. And especially don't put a sizzling platter of fajitas in front of my 1 year old! I had one waitress do that twice.

8. Automatic tips. If you automatically tip, I will amost never give you more than the automatic tip. If you leave the tip up to me, I'll almost always give you more 15% (and considerably more if the service merits it).

Chris, an excellent and comprehensive list (I've worked as a waiter, too). One point, though:

We'll ask to switch tables because:

1. We don't like to be seated next to a restroom or bussing station. Does anyone? It shouldn't be a shock to a maitre 'd that people don't want to smell restroom disinfectant or see stacked and dirty dishes while they're dining.

2. I won't sit at a table in which the sun is in my eyes (or, for that matter, a light in a poorly designed restaurant). Again, does anyone like light shining in their eyes when they're eating?

3. I won't sit next to a large, noisy party. I'm sure you've seen it: 8 tables pushed together in the middle of the room with a scattering of 1 or 2 tables for two around the wall. We eat in restaurants to have a pleasant and relaxing meal, not to watch a bunch of people get loudly drunk, scream with laughter, make speeches, etc.

4. And the big one: Don't ever seat us near babies or noisy young children. If we wanted Chuck E. Cheese, we'd have gone to one (and we never do). We will not tolerate crying babies or screaming children for one minute. If the manager doesn't do something about it, we will walk out (though, of course, we'll pay for what we consumed and tip the waiter regardless).

1. When servers refill a soda but don't bother to replace the lemon or lime that I squeezed in.

2. The restaurant nearby that just started charging for soda refills without saying anything.

Thanks, I feel much better now.

Mike

I have 2 pet peeves:

1) This is the BIGGEST one of the 2: when I feel rushed by the server. Typically when I go out to eat on weekends or on vacations, I like to take my time and enjoy cocktails and maybe an appetizer or two before even thinking about what I want to order for the main course. I always try to be up front about it with the servers that I am not in a hurry. It usually is not a problem but every now and then, I will get an overly-eager one who insists on rushing me.

2) When drinks are not refilled in a timely manner. I have had occasions where drinks were finished and a half hour went by and no offers of re-fills were given. This was at a time where the restaurant and server were not busy.

New pet peeve: assuming any cash is a tip if two people split via cash/credit.

Had this one server take over half the bill as a tip (cash put in the sleeve in with a card) and charge the full thing to the card.

Ridiculous. Who tips 50%?

All reasonable requests of course. My pet peeve stems from those who want to move two tables over from where we're trying to put them for no apparent reason. We are probably putting you at that table so that all the servers have equal tables. If we just sat people wherever THEY wanted to be seated, you'd end up with a couple servers getting slammed while everyone else has nothing to do.

Chris

At my restaurant we actually will pre-sweeten tea if we notice how much Sweet & Lo, etc. that you're putting in your tea. Seems to be well-received.

This isn't our choice. I'd almost always rather leave it up to the guest. But the restaurant policy says we have to put the gratuity on every table of 6 or more. If you choose to "grat" a bunch of elderly women and then don't "grat" a bunch of businessmen, that's blatant discrimination. Please don't take it out on your server. At most quality establishments, he/she doesn't get a say. If you're a 20% tipper normally, feel free to make the gratuity equal to 20%.

Chris

I know this is pretty horrible of me, but one thing I can't stand when eating out is sitting next to people that are obese and having to watch them order fatty food after fatty food for every course.
I realize a lot of people have a medical condition and it can't be helped but I just wish the U.S. could gain some self-control when eating. More of a societal comment though I suppose...

Can't say I agree with this one. It's none of my business whether or why someone is overweight (unless they're sitting next to me in coach and didn't buy two seats). Paraphrasing Dr. King, "I'm judge a person by the content of his character and not quantity of his corpus."

I don't like the courses being served out of order or all at the same time.
I don't like receiving the check before I have asked for it.
I don't like misleading or incomplete food descriptions on the menu. I once dined with a friend in an Asian restaurant and he ordered a lobster dish. There was more chicken than lobster in his entree but chicken was not mentioned in the description.

+1, I see this happen a lot

Indeed! We've been fairly annoyed while dining in a "nice" restaurant to have our main course delivered about two minutes after our appetizers.

I now try to give explicit instructions - that's virtually insulting to a good server but unfortunately necessary for those who aren't.

+1 ... I meant to mention that, too. Very annoying to wait 20 minutes, have the entree come out, then have the salad come out a minute later.

I went to a restaurant last night here in SF: the check had 18% gratuity included, for a party of 3!
Ok, I'll spill the beans: it was Asia de Cuba.

I have known of restaurants that include a tip if the diners are, for example, Europeans, due to the difference in tipping customs.