Speaking of feeling bad for the waitress since you took up two tables and only bought drinks, did you think about the owner of the establishment? I think you need to send $100 to make up for the food you should have bought. I'm sure that the company would appreciate it.

I see these type of guilt threads all the time, about the maid, the valet, the servers, skycaps, etc. People denounce their cheap friends, and at the same time, overtip, which in my eyes is just as bad. In fact, $4 on a $25 bill is 16% tip. It's certainly not your fault that the place was busy and you couldn't get a seat at the bar.

I have gone out with people who left $1 for a $40 bill, which wasn't appropriate. I added to the tip, and made it fair.

Servers know what their pay is. They do get tips, and I'd guess than a good server in a good restaurant makes $12-$20 an hour. In fact, I go to some mid level chains (PF Changs, etc) where servers make $200-$250 in tips for a 5 hour shift.

I had a friend in high school who worked at a Baskin Robins who made server wages, at that time, since they might get tips. Now, that was certainly a rip off.

I agree that tipping extra is just compensation for hogging the table. Having been in the service industry, one has a better appreciation how hard the service staff works to get their tips.

To the original questions:
What would you do in this situation?
Drop the ten and pick up the $4 because I'd feel I was hogging the table in a busy restaurant. (And I'd feel the same if one was hogging a table in a busy restaurant milling about after a meal.)

What is normal, correct, whatever you want to call it? Is $4 acceptable?
Anything is correct and yes, $4 is acceptable. I go by the philosophy that there really aren't any rules to tipping, just guidelines.

Background: Yes, I did serve for a while but years ago.

As far as that goes, in probably 90% of cases, one can learn 90% of what
one needs to know for most white-collar jobs in 8 hours or less.

I have tried to tip in Sydney and been told that it is considered rude! That was a few years back though and I have noticed living here the trend seems to be changing although a tip is not expected.

Wirelessly posted (Blackberry 7290: BlackBerry8700/4.2.1 Profile/MIDP-2.0 Configuration/CLDC-1.1 VendorID/120)

What I don't quite understand I why it makes sense to tip a percentage of the bill. In some cases, the total amount is indicative of the service received (lots of courses or lots of drinks) but often it is not. For a simple lunch with a soft drink, it is posible to pay from 10 dollars (=$1.50 tip) to $40 (=$6.00 tip). In both cases, the waiter had exactly the same thing to do.

I tend to tip more as a percentage when the prices are low than when they are high.

SmilingBoy.

Elke did the right thing. I'm sure the server appreciated the gratuity. Yes, servers make $2.13 per hour and know it. But it is also customary to tip in the US. The better the service the higher the tip.

What some seem to miss is, if wages were higher for servers, the price of the food is going to go up.

That tip you give to the server does not only go to the server. That tip is split with the busboy, the bartender, the expediter, the host/hostess, and on charged tips 4-5% to the house. The house has to pay for charge services. And drum roll--Uncle Sam!!!

I used to be a server and my two week paycheck was never more than $10. So yeah, be as nice as you want, but leave the dough.

One night, I remember I was the closing server. White table cloth restaurant in Sears Tower. A Saturday night. Just before closing, a 4 top walks in. The only people in the house for 3 hours. I didn't mind, their check was over $200. And they asked me to order a limo for them. I knew somebody to call as was able to get them a limo at the last minute. Nice people. Paid in cash. As they were leaving the guy who paid the bill and palmed my tip stating how much they appreciated the great service and the limo. Not to be rude, I slipped the money in my pocket without looking and wished them a wonderful evening.

I pulled the tip out of my pocket. He left me $5.00. I still had to tip the busboy, the bartender, the hostess, the expediter (already had left since I had just one table) not the house because it was a cash tip. BUT, it cost me money that night to go to work because it's assumed I'd make between 15-20% in tips. That's what my tip out to the rest of the people I tipped out to expected because that was the house rules.

I became a Flight Attendant soon afterwards. I don't have to rely on tips.

Not to stray too far off-topic, but what does a server do when they've given good service yet gotten stiffed on the tip??

I remember an incident a million years ago when I was a kid. Parents and I went to an upscale steakhouse for an early dinner. Restaurant was not crowded but we were given a seat by the kitchen door. Service was slower than slow. Orders were all wrong. Drinks were removed from the table before they were finished. Check came and it was wrong. Waiter was quite angry when it was called to his attention and returned to slap the check down on the table without a thank you (and yes, he did slap the check down).

So...my Dad left no tip (very unusual for him; he was a good tipper).

I remember it like it was yesterday. The waiter came out into the parking lot and said "was there something wrong with the service?". My Dad turned around and said "as a matter of fact, there was". He proceeded to itemize to the waiter all of the negatives (most of which he had already pointed out as they occurred at the table).

The waiter apologized profusely. I don't recall if he tried to make any excuses or not (frankly, I was mortified and cringing in the car). My Dad offered the waiter 5 bucks for having the nerve to come out and at least ask (remember this was in the early 70s at most). Waiter refused it and told us to come back and ask for him and he'd take care of us. Needless to say, we never went back.

Funny what you remember....

Maybe that's why both my brother and I are overly conscious of tipping for good service (my brother routinely tips 40-50% especially if the waitress is blonde and pretty).

And just to get back to the topic of tipping by percentage, if you stop into a diner and have a cup of coffee for $1.50, do you really only leave a quarter or less???

How could I stop at a diner and not order hash browns and a couple scrambled eggs with my coffee?

I think I'd round up to $2, especially if I leave the $2 on the counter instead of paying at a register. If the waitress was very attentive or very cute, or both, I might leave a one dollar bill for a tip, especially if I was paying at a register.

When a server gets "skunked," what can they do? One just has to take it. In my case, I almost started crying. And I realized it was time for me to find a new career. I didn't want to continue to rely on the generousity of other.

The waiter who confronted your father was very lucky your father didn't walk back into the restaurant and complain to management. The waiter probably would have been fired for confronting a guest.

When I go for a cup of coffee in a diner, I tip at least a dollar maybe two considering the length of time taking up the booth.

Now I get it. My tips were suffering despite my good service, I wasn't cute enough.

No different than the music biz. I learned early on that I wasn't cute enough to wait tables and ended up a busboy for years.

I wouldn't tip for what I didn't buy. How ridiculous is that? The bar was full so you took a table. If there isn't a "food service at tables during lunch hours" policy then you've done nothing but create your own guilt. Tipping is so out of control is the US it's not even funny. The way you make more as a server is to work in more upscale restaurants where you are turning $500 or more in meals per hour. I'll tip 15% to 20%, and even tip a buck or two on a $10 buffet for someone to bring me a soda that if I'm in 7-11 I can pour myself.

Out of control.

Wirelessly posted (Blackberry 7290: BlackBerry8700/4.2.1 Profile/MIDP-2.0 Configuration/CLDC-1.1 VendorID/120)

I agree. How did it happen that a culture like this has developed in North America?

Everybody seems to be unhappy:

The guests as they have moral issues when you occupy a table and don't buy the average amount.

The servers who sometimes get way short-changed. (But can't be that bad because otherwise why do so many do thi job?)

And finally the foreigners. If there is a meal for $8 and a drink for $1.60, they expect to pay $10 with tip. But no, on top of that are taxes and tip so the total come out at $14.

(I was very upset about this as a European cost-concious teenager when dining at the hard-rock cafe in the Skydome...)

So why not switch to all-inclusive pricing?

SmilingBoy.

And another thing...

What's with the "American Way" of trying to shove customers out the door before they've even had a chance to wipe their mouths.

"Would you like to see a dessert menu? No? Well, buh-bye."

In parts of Europe and Asia, once you sit down to dinner that table is yours until you ask for a check and decide to leave.