Thanks. I understand much more now. As for me I decided long ago I really dont care to give out my hard earned money to see "how happy the valet is". That really is not my responsibility nor my desire. All I want is my car parked safely and securely . His girlfriend or boyfriend should be doing the happy thing before and after his work shift. As for giving any gratuitous money first ie before a service is performed and doing such to influence that service, I would call that a bribe but then I am not a lawyer.

Lastly in most service jobs I have done or seen the personnel rotate the shifts, ie one does the evening shift this week, the day shift next week etc so they will soon get incoming tips (ie $10 from you, $20 the really nice guy from West Maui, $1 from me etc).

MisterNice

As usual you are correct. I have cars registered in both HI and PA but it is a mess since 9/11 and the dumb DHS related state rules. When I register the PA car I gotta turn in my HI drivers license for a PA drivers license to register a car in PA. When its time to do it in HI I must turn in my PA drivers license to............ No wonder why I dont have any money left over for any generous tipping or even a ever-timely HI drivers license to get the ever diminishing kama'aina discounts.

MisterNice

Sounds to me like MisterNice might be the male counterpart of the El Cheapo friends. Don't be sitting at my table pal...you would embarrass me...

As a miserly Scot I'm kind of split on this one, I have to agree that your friends were a bit on the stingy side with the $4 tip, but seeing as you explained that you were only going to have drinks before sitting down, I can't see any obligation on your part to make up for any potential tips that may have been missed.
It is almost like saying that you had salad and a glass of house wine for lunch but left a big tip as someone else may have had a three course meal and a couple of bottles of expensive wine and thus generating a larger tip than yours.

You did the right thing in my opinion. Just b/c you told the server or restaurant that you were only going to have drinks doesn't absolve you of the obligation to be a reasonable tipper, especially when you sat for quite a while and she brought you snacks. It's one thing if I order a six dollar glass of wine at the bar and stay for ten minutes to push a dollar over; it's another if I stay for a while and the bartender is pretty attentive and brings more drinks and snacks.

I probably would have left $5 or $6.

Pocket their $4, leave the $10.

This would have been a good option as well. $10 seems like it would have been an appropriate tip, maybe the cheap tippers would have been offended had OP pocketed their ones.

I hate cheap tippers. My husband and I usually leave 20% unless it is an odd situation like the one OP described. We have a real hometown restaurant in our downtown that serves great breakfasts for about $3.00. It just seems rude to leave 20% of $6.00, so it would be an instance where we'd have no problem leaving a $3.00 or $4.00 tip.

Did anyone expense this?

I've been in a similar situation at a hotel bar where we had checked out and were killing time until we left for the airport. It became apparent that we were talking up space as people were jammed at the bar and looking for tables. I paid a "parking fee" to a waitress that I know is not earning by our loitering. I think you were generous in the situation and it appears you don't make a habit of handing out 10's to anyone who happens by.

As a frequent international traveler, bribery works tipping doesnt. I prefer the bribe.

What strikes me as interesting is that your friends chastised you for leaving a generous tip yet they have had no complaints and have allowed you to "subsidize" their meals by splitting checks all weekend. So... maybe they are the ones with the guilty consciences - when they saw you "subsidizing" the waitress perhaps it hit too close to home. Buying you a coke is the least they should have been doing, IMHO.

Depending on how friendly the service anywhere from $6-10 if it was busy $15

There really is no excuse for bad tipping.

Being nice to a waitress and then cutting corners when tipping is inexcusable. These are people...

When good service warrants a good tip, I leave accordingly. Up to 20% is not out of the question. For drinks I usually leave $2-$3 even for a beer.

While I agree with the tip approach, I do disagree with this statement. A bar is made for drinking, and eating is an accessory activity. At a table, it's the other way around. So no, if the bar had been available, I would not have agreed with the large tip for taking up space.

Cheers,

GenevaFlyer

And what would be the name and address of that hometown restaurant