If you're a twelve-year-old boy, you might also stand around the campfire with the marshmallow on a stick in the fire until the marshmallow is flaming -- then fling it at the girls. Chicks love having flaming wads of goo hurled at them.

20. When traveling in small towns in the American west or southwest, a generally (but, alas, not perfectly) reliable index to the quality of the Mexican food or barbecue is, respectively, the number of neon beer advertising signs and the number of oil service company wall calendars.

Now this is OCD.

French fries aren't worth eating WITH ketchup. Just a little salt and pepper.

Oh so right! ^ ^

21. French fries are to be served as God made them -- no ketchup, no chili, no cheese, no ranch dressing, no other nasty, gloppy, uggy stuff on them.

I as well have my own:

- It can only be Miracle Whip, never, and I repeat never, mayonaise.
- hot dogs can ONLY be accompanied by mustard, onion (must be chopped) and relish.
- Relish can NEVER be dill or other relish, only sweet pickle.
- Soup of most major kinds must be accompanied by enough crushed crackers to make the soup become solid. it cannot have any moisture left outside the crushed crackers.
- I will NOT eat cold toast, no matter how hungry or who is giving it to me.
- I will NEVER eat cold pizza, not even warm. It must be reheated so that there is at least a nickel sized pool of melted cheese on the plate next to the crust.
- I will NEVER eat a room temperature deviled egg, must be quite cold.

As for the process of eating:
- I will NEVER drink a soda or other liquid beverage from a straw. Please never offer it to me that way.
- I will NEVER change hands to use my knife when dining. The change-over to cut and change back seems like a lot of waste of time and for no apparent reason - food could get cold by then.

While some of your others are weird :p these two are exactly right.

22. Unless I have been having severe vomiting problems and have been told to sip ginger ale (the only time when that stuff should be drunk, btw) while lying prone, then and only then will I gratefully accept a straw.

Really? I like mine with seafood cocktail sauce (the ketchup/horseradish/lemon juice/worcestershire sauce kind) or, better yet, with cocktail sauce mixed with tartar sauce.

You never want to be at a table with me eating french fries. :D

Toppings:
-Absolutely no VISIBLE or tastable butter or margarine on my food
-Ketchup only when on a fast food burger
-Toppings must be spread out on the burger, not grouped in 1 huge pile.

Tim Hortons rules: (It's a Canada thing)
-Small Coffee: 1 milk, 1 sugar
-Medium/Large/XLarge Coffee: double double

Foods:
-Pizza crust must not be too crispy
-Bacon in a restaurant must be not crispy
-Sausages must be greasy.
-Food must be warm but not piping hot. (my mom likes food hot enough to melt steel on contact.
-Marshmellows must be fully burnt on the outside but white inside.

Drinks:
-Drinks must be REGULAR/CLASSIC.
-No Aspertame
-No Diet drinks
-Prefer my pop flat or near flat
-Coke with lime slice which I can squeeze
-Beer must be cold. Not "cool"
-

Is not. I eat sushi and raw oysters.

Well, maybe a little obsessive. :D

And servers, since there are quite a few of us who feel this way, please carry our glasses from the bottom :eek: . I have used a straw on occasion because of the sight of a dirty hand grasped firmly around the top where I would normally plant my lower lip.

1. Steak, hamburgers, all beef is best when it's rare.
2. Bacon must be burned to a blackened crisp before I'll eat it.
3. Canned tuna must be canned in water, not oil.
4. Hamburgers are best enjoyed on an english muffin.
5. Onions on my pizza must be cooked prior to being put on the pizza
6. When travelling, I won't drink any bottled water served to me if it's already opened. I'll send it back.
7. How to peel an onion: cut if in 1/2 first, then begin to peel
8. A good hotdog has that snap.
9. Only nova scotia salmon on a bagel, never lox.
10. Never eat bagels outside the NYC metropolitan area
11. Never order bbq in NYC metropolitan area
12. Skin the chicken before cooking
13. Corn on the cob is great hot or cold.
14. Mashed potatoes are NOT smashed potatoes. I prefer mashed.
15. Diced peaches or diced apricots along with dill in tuna salad make for a yummy sandwich.
16. Miracle Whip, not mayo
17. The best salad green is arugula.
18. The best potato salad is German potato salad.

PresRDC, you may invite me to lunch. ;)

Agreed. I might have to say a prayer for you and that would be good for an 18 page OMNI thread from someone :D

23. No visible butter on my food -- except for croissants. Then both acceptable and desirable.

While I won't eat french fries with Tennisbum, I'd be proud to eat breakfast with someone so evidently (with a few exceptions :p ) sensible.

Anyone remember that picnic scene with Mary Kay Place and Martin Mull in "The History of White People in America", with her cutesy smile and that big, bad, gallon jug of mayonnaise? :D

Yes ^ ^ ^