Your personal food rules.....
 

Inspired by the horror of imperialistic, creeping, sausage-polluting syrup
http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=578694 :D

What are your personal, weird, idiosyncratic "food rules"?

1. Pop Tarts are not to be heated until hot. They are to be only barely warmed. If allowed to heat through, they must cool until only barely warm.

2. Open faced peanut butter (chunky, please) sandwiches are best served on rye toast (or whole wheat). But the rye toast must be toasted crisply, and then allowed to cool to room temperature before peanut butter is applied. No melted peanut butter allowed! Jelly/jam should NEVER be added to open-faced peanut butter toast.

3. There is a reason that God made different chip products in their own bags. Chips of different kinds -- potato chips, tortilla chips, different flavored potato chips, etc. -- must never, after the party, be combined into one bag, and must never, at the party, be combined in one bowl.

4. Tofu? No. Thanks, no.

5. In a salami/pepperoni/etc. and cheese sandwich, or a hamburger, the mustard must be applied to the non-cheese side.

I general, I prefer eating most foods at room temprature versus hot or cold. I'll often let my dinner sit for an hour or so when I eat at home to accomplish this.

Not a rule though, just a preference :)

Overheated Pop-Tart filling burns like sulfuric acid. You will lose all sense of taste for two days.

If a caveman could eat it I would eat it.

Meat, vegetables and fruit are great. OK so there is the occasional complex carbo hydrate, but still natural unprocessed foods are best.

No foods with a celebrity or cartoon character on the box. By definition those are not good for you!

eat real foods. No foods containing preservatives, additives, artificial colorings, etc.

No music, please. If I'd wanted to dance, I'd be at a disco. :rolleyes:

Don't rush me! :mad:

And if you have to ask me if I need anything else, can you save it for after I've finished my meal, please? :mad:

Thank you.

Ketchup does not go on a hot dog. EVER!!!!!

Meat goes on a pizza, vegetables go in a salad.

A BLT has to be on toasted bread (anything but rye) and accompanied by a real Coca Cola (not Diet).

Let all the people say Amen!!

Note to self: before dining at richard's, make sure there is someplace to buy food with taste on the way home :p

Amen, Amen, Amen.

Mayonnaise on a cheeseburger needs to be on the hamburger side and not the cheese or bun side. And never, ever Miracle Whip.

Interesting. I take my steak directly off the grill and onto a plate and eat it ASAP. Hell, if I am cooking a quarter of it will be gone while it is still on the grill.

I was so inspired that I just had one for lunch. But I had to wave the two pieces of toast briskly in the air for a minute or so to get them to room temperature.

LOL. When I was growing up Miracle Whip was used instead of mayonnaise. I didn't have real mayonnaise until I left home and went to college. Man, I hated real mayonnaise with a passion for the longest time, but recently seem to have developed a preference for it on or in certain things.

I don't have many eccentricities when it comes to food, but I'll keep reading and see if I'm only kidding myself. ;)

Sincerely,


William R. Sanders
Customer Service Coordinator
Starwood Preferred Services

[email protected]

6. There are only two things that ketchup is good for: using it with lemon juice to make an emergency sauce for dipping shrimp, and putting it in my homemade barbecue sauce.

7. If ice cream doesn't have some sort of textural contrast (nuts, chocolate chips, etc.) then it's not worth bothering.

8. NO, I don't want my pecan pie heated. Or my apple pie. Or my cherry pie. Or my mac nut pie. No. Apple crisp or blueberry crisp (with approximately three times the "crisp" part more than the recipe says) is acceptable warm with ice cream, but not hot. Room temperature is better than hot.

9. The waffle should be crisp. "Like this, sir?" No, please have the cook make it CRISP. CRISP.

10. While crisp bacon is better than no bacon at all, just-done limp bacon (insert own joke here) is perfect. Even better when cooked over charcoal. Not nearly so good when microwaved.

11. A nicely-done hush puppy is to have a hint of onion. There's a reason it's not known as an onion puppy.

Sure it does. Right on top of the chili and coleslaw. :D

The two delis that I visit for lunch at work both have the annoying habit of putting the lettuce and tomato on my sandwiches under the meat. I always end up having to rearrange my sandwich such that the bread is on the bottom, then the meat, then the lettuce, then the tomato, and then the top piece of bread.

And no, it's not as simple as just flipping over the sandwich -- that doesn't work with a roll, which has a distinct top and bottom.

The "gourmet" sandwhich shop I sometimes visit makes my sandwiches with turkey, bacon, mixed greens, avocado and tomato. The order seems to vary every time, and I don't have the patience to properly rearrange all those things, so I just eat it as is. However, the avocado is always adjacent to one of the pieces of bread, so I always orient the sandwich such that the avocado is on top. Those sandwiches are always on sliced bread, so they can be flipped as necessary.

And that's just sandwiches...

I have a long list, but like I said in the other thread, I'm a picky pants.

--No onions of any color, shape or size. This is the #1 rule.
--Nothing green (desserts/candy excluded, unless it tastes green, if that makes any sense)
--Nothing orange (see exclusion above)
--No pepper/peppers of any color
--Condiments rarely accepted. Ketchup is fine in homemade BBQ sauce. Sometimes mayo/Miracle Whip, but usually only on a BLT (minus the L).
--Tomatoes are usually only acceptable if they are raw. And small, like a grape or cherry tomato. I rarely like red sauces (I think it's the spices, which are usually gross).
--Other food colors are considered on a case by case basis.
--Most, if not all, meats, breads and cheeses are A-ok. And potatoes.
--Corn must be a stand-alone food. It cannot be an ingredient in another dish, like a casserole or a soup. If corn is served, I either eat it all first, or last, so it doesn't touch other foods.
--I love chicken. Yummy!
--I love most breakfast foods.
--No tofu, or sushi. I will eat most fish, but it must be cooked thoroughly.

--Oddly enough, I like mushrooms. It seems most picky people hate mushrooms, but they are good with me.

'Plain' should be my middle name.

On a sandwich/hamburger:
I do not like mayonnaise
I do not like mustard
I do not like ketchup
I do not like tomatoes
I do not like onions
I do not like lettuce (leaf lettuce might be ok, provided it's not very vein-y)
I do not like CHEESE

It makes me so mad when I say 'hamburger, plain' only to be asked, 'Would you like cheese?' Do you not know what plain is?!?!?!? Of course, I often say 'add bacon!', so the confusion only deepens. It's so much easier to bring my lunch. :D

I do, however, like BBQ sauce.

It flies, it dies, it fries.

Food quirk wise, I think I'm better than I used to be a few years ago, but I think some of mine are a little bizarre...in no particular order:

1. I generally only eat cooked pasta if I cook it myself or watch it being cooked...I also like to munch on raw pasta as a snack sometimes, but see #4 for that...

2. Regarding chocolate candies like a Crunch bar or a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, I have to a.) buy them myself (no handouts from other people, even friends or family!), and b.) eat it within ~2 minutes of purchasing it or I cant bring myself to eat it at all

3. Perhaps my most bizarre quirk, but I can't watch people eat ice cream (obviously I don't like ice cream either ;)) it grosses me out for some reason I don't understand...its a bit awkward when eating out with other people who aren't aware of this quirk, and then they order ice cream and wonder why I am staring into my lap after they get their orders...

4. I can only eat certain foods in certain places...for instance, I love munching on raw pasta, but I can only do it at home on school vacations...when out at school, I don't do it at all...there are a couple of other foods like that but I think Ive weirded you out enough for one post ;)

-When I make oatmeal or Cream of Wheat, I make it w/whole milk. No water as described in the recipe on the side of the box/can. I won't even use 2% or skim. If that's all there is in the fridge, I use half skim milk and half 1/2 & 1/2.

-Bagels/toast must be very crispy. A bit burnt at the edges is best.

-I like my hamburgers w/cheap store-brand buns, ala $.99/bag of 8. When I have a burger, I want to taste the meat, not be overwhelmed by a huge-a** bun I can't even get my mouth around. If that's all we have, I'll run to the local store to get the cheapos.

-Taste it before using the salt and pepper. The only exception is french fries, because they can never be too salty!
-Always butter, never margarine.
-Iced tea must not have any sugar or lemon added.
-nothing on my steak. I want to taste it, not the sauce.
-no raw onion on/in anything.

But there is the other end to this. Not that long ago, I ordered a Bacon Cheeseburger with only lettuce and mayonnaise. I didn't get bacon and I didn't get cheese. I took it back and she said that I only wanted L&M. I kind of thought the Bacon Cheeseburger part implied that I actually wanted the bacon and the cheese.

Generally, I am with on the plain thing. If you see me put steak sauce on a steak it is because it isn't any good.

How did you survive? I knew there was something wrong with you the first time we met in SAT. :D

Someone once told me that she wouldn't eat any animal that had feet. I immediately realized my rule: I won't eat any animal that had hands.

Oh, big ditto from me.

I can't eat tomato soup made with water--must be milk or nothing.

Ketchup (no mustard) on hamburgers, fries but not on eggs.
Mustard (no ketchup) on hot dogs. Add sauerkraut, onions and relish.
Corned beef, Pastrami -- Rye bread, mustard and nothing else.
No mayo on Tuna salad -- it already has mayo! No mayo on any sandwich, except maybe Turkey or a club.
No olives.
No strawberries.
No sour cream.
No bleu cheese, gorgonzola or the like.
No ranch dressing.
No coffee.
Soft boiled egg needs to be served with torn up pieces of toast and mushed up.
No cheeseburgers.
Pizza is better with anchovies.
Fruit is great, but bagels must not have fruit or anything sweet. Bagels should have onion, garlic, poppy seeds or sesame seeds -- or all of those.

Eggs too!

I'd prefer crispy bacon with my eggs, not undercooked, limp bacon.

Would you mind a ripe tomato on my ... instead of one that's still not ripe.
Same rule for 'fresh' fruit. Why do < they > serve it unripe.

I wanted butter on my bagel, not a butter sandwich. (Think gobs. )

Oh honey, I'm tired of the undercooked chicken (again). :eek: :rolleyes:

Starwood Lurker, really want to cut down, use lite mayo instead. :p

I know people who won't eat anything which had a face.

I dated a guy who said he wouldn't eat anything that farts. Really makes you think.

12. Squeezable mustard is a dumb idea.

13. I am really, really, really utterly uninterested in discussing what color order that M&Ms are to be eaten in. They taste exactly the same, whatever their color. But they must be eaten precisely two at a time.

14. Beer is always better than wine. And there is the added benefit that there are no "beer snots" endlessly nattering about bouquets and "just a hint of trout."

15. The best way to eat S'Mores is this: Gather graham crackers, marshmallows and Hershey bars. Then throw away marshmallows, throw away graham crackers and eat Hershey bar. Sing a camp song around the fire if that makes it taste better for you.

16. Coleslaw is an abomination. And on top of a chopped barbecue sandwich, hiding there beneath the top bun ready to assault the unsuspecting, it is to be anathematized. Verily.

17. Unsalted dry roasted peanuts are a waste on so many counts. "Lightly salted" ones are better than none at all, but only until the real thing is available.

1. Steak must NEVER EVER be cooked past medium. If you cook my steak that way, take it back and start with a new one.
2. A scone with butter and jam is pathetic, it must have clotted cream.
3. Link sausages need to be mid priced, not the fancy expensive ones with too much meat in them or the cheap ones that have none.
4. A full english breakfast can't have baked beans on it.
5. Most pies go great with baked beans.
6. Chips (not crisps) must be slightly cripsy and chipped from a potato, NOT squeezed through a press and made into fries.
7. Kebabs can only be eaten after 5 pints.
8. Sweetcorn is versatile, it can go in salads, on pizzas, in chicken or tuna mayonaise sandwiches.
9. Fish is not, and shouldn't ever go on my pizza.

I'll Amen the other sentiments on No Tofu. Not ever.

I agree in principle although I occasionally make an exception for cokes. Meats should be hormone and antibiotic-free.

Hot tea must be made with real leaves (not bags) and boiling water and still be almost scaldingly hot when I drink it. Tepid tea is disgusting.

Bacon should be crisp.

I never eat ground beef unless I've seen the meat before and supervised the grinding (prefer to grind it myself when possible). I like my hamburgers very well done.

I enjoy rare beef (except for hamburgers), lamb, and duck breast. I want everything else (especially chicken) quite well cooked.

For the most part, I like hot foods hot (especially soups) and cold foods chilled. On the other hand, there are a lot of things (roast chicken, quiches, etc.) that are great at room temp.

I like sushi, but, that aside, prefer my fish grilled over charcoal (shrimp, too).

It appears many of us should seriously consider counselling for OCD.... ;)

Mine are relatively simple - a boon given my travels to the nether regions of the globe. I read many of the postings here and wondered how some of you could survive trips overseas.

1. I will not eat durian. I have tried it several times. I don't care that I've not tried it prepared "this way." I don't like it and don't have to eat it.
2. I will not eat "sea cucumber." I have tried it several times. I don't care that I've not tried it prepared "this way." I don't like it and don't have to eat it.
3. I will not eat "stinky tofu." I have tried it several times. I don't like it and don't have to eat it. Tofu prepared any other way I've tried is fine.
4. By the time it is served to me at the table, it must be dead. We can select it while it is still alive, and it does not necessarily have to be cooked, but it has to be dead. Faces, feet, eyes, etc. included in the table presentation are fine. I'll eat the parts I want.
5. If I say I have tried it before and do not care for it, I mean it. I appreciate that it is a delicacy in your country. I enthusiastically tried it. Once. I don't have to again. (Corollary to #1, #2 & #3).
6. Beer helps. Immensely. As does bottled water, cola and/or cha.
7. When you visit my country, I expect you to be as open minded to my "native" cuisine as I have been to yours. This particularly applies to visitors from Korea (most "resistant," yet insistent that you should "love" their food IME).

No ketchup but Heinz!

French fries are not worth eating without Ketchup.

Hamburgers aren't really worth eating unless they have a little raw onion on them (including ketchup, mustard, pickles at a minimum).

No pretend whipped cream (e.g., Cool Whip) - only freshly whipped cream.

No pastries that come wrapped in cellophane. They look gross and taste worse.

No pretend (out of a box) mashed potatoes. Most restaurants seem to have gone back to the real thing. ^

If it's not a real bagel (boiled, then baked), I don't want it. No "Wonder bread" bagels for me. A real bagel is crisp on the outside, chewy on the inside. If it is, there is also NO reason to toast it. If it's more than a day old, you may toast.

No lite or no fat cream cheese on my bagel.

Don't do the Greek diner thing and sprinkle my skirt steak with any oregano or other weird spices. Salt and pepper only - well, maybe a little wine or balsamic reduction. :)

Anything with cilantro, go easy with it -otherwise that is all you taste.

1. Never eat anything that is bigger than your head.
2. Never eat anything black (black is nature's way of shouting "stay away!")

OMG, finally someone who understands!!! People always look at me like I'm crazy when I say I don't eat anything that tastes green...

In my world, bell peppers are okay because they don't "taste green", but there shall be no lettuce, broccoli, peas, etc.

Absolutely agree with these two. I especially can't think of any good use for marshmallows.

Also, when drinking a soft drink from a paper cup, the cup should be grasped so that the seam of the cup aligns with my fingers.

Soup must be served so hot I can't eat it right away. I might let it cool to the point I want, but at least I know it was hot enough to begin with.

Tea must be served so hot I can't drink it right away. I might let it cool to point I want, but at least I know it was hot enough to begin with.

No one should handle raw meat/fish/poultry without gloves. Do you know how much bacteria can grow under your fingernails after you've touch those items?

Deli style sandwiches that include meat and cheese must have the items in the right proportion. I'm sick of place that think they are giving you a great value by having sooo much meat. The cheese, greens (sprouts if available please) mayo, bacon, etc. all must be in proper proportions.

Nothing should be dyed blue.

If you come to dinner at my house, don't salt the food I present to you without tasting it first, it's insulting.

Steak, hamburgers and brats should only be cooked on the grill. Outside Temperatures below 0 are not an excuse to skip this rule.

Leftovers over three day old are not to be eaten.