I would leave a 10% tip with note in this particular case, but to answer your question...I may not like it, but I would accept that I screwed up and accept the consequences.

It's a tip, not a non-negotiable service charge.

I earn (or don't) a portion of my income in bonus. My performance over the year determines my bonus. If I mess up, I don't expect to be given the full bonus.

That may be technically true but the IRS and laws treat it less like a bonus and more like a salary. If it was a pure bonus the jobs would not have its own minimum wage laws.

Ha..top this.
I work for an A-hole of epic proportions. I tried for 9 years to get one particular account. Finally I got them to write an order....order received and in process. Then A-hole noticed a mistake that HE made in the pricing. 100% his fault. Not only did he have the balls to call my customer and ask for 20% more money to process the PO (it was too late for them to find another vendor at this point ) but he cut my commission in half. So I had to pay for his mistake. I am sure he considered not paying me a commission at all for the order.
Sorry for the hijack but yes...if I made a mistake it would come out of my pocket.

A harsh result for what sounds like a one-off by a nice server. Depending on the place, a server might be quite limited in the ability to comp an item.

The server's candor was rare. I don't need to ruin her day or perhaps her livelihood by anything more than perhaps a reduced tip.

There are plenty of reasons to "talk to management" as a customer of the service industry. For me, this is not one.

C'mon, I'm sure the server had multiple tables. If she screwed up one meal, her income wasn't seriously impacted. If she screwed up everyone's meal, she needs to find a different line of business. Mistakes have consequences. This is how we learn and improve.

And if she has an unreasonable manager who is a potohead, looking for any reason to can her (even if every other table is happy), there you have it.

I'm just sayin' we don't need to go run and complain to a higher up every time something doesn't run at 100%.

I agree. If nothing else was bad I would've also gave regular tip.

On this, we agree. It doesn't seem worthy of escalation. Someone would have to foul up seriously, repeatedly, or on purpose before I would approach their manager.

Have had my entree completely rung up entirely wrong(server admitted to it), had my husband had the same thing as well happen at another restaurant, had forgotten to put in appetizer orders, side salads/cups of soup, etc. Have had lots of bar drinks forgotten from the bar(twice a long time(once 30 minutes, another time 25 minutes), etc.

In your situation, since that server didn't even pay for a soft drink off your bill(could have out of their own pocket if the manager didn't comp anything with YOUR SERVER asking(NOT YOU), I would have completely stiffed. Now if you would have been offered a comp from the server(meaning you didn't ask the manager), 8%-10%. Now if you had to ask for a manager and you did the complaining to get the freebie yourself, then stiff would be in the server's future. Usually the reason why this happens is that they either are playing around or purposely going out of order of turns so that's why they forget. In a situation before, our waiter was playing around on the job instead of WORKING, so he forgot what he was going to do.

It all depends on the situation. Once, our waiter admitted he forgot to put an appetizer order in(we ordered it at the greeting along with our drinks). I did see why though. I had remembered he went to hug someone he knew. Well, anyway, unlike most that don't care, our waiter PROFUSELY apologized twice(so sorry's), and offered something for free(chips and salsa, which was a menu item, not free of charge). So I told him we had enough food, that I'd rather have something off the bill even if it's just a coke. So he got $5 off our check(meaning WE didn't have to talk to a manager at all about it). We gave him 16% BEFORE the $5 discount. Now, if he would have not gotten us a comp and not apologized, we would have left absolutely nothing at all. If he would have just apologized a tiny sorry, not a "so sorry" and no comp, 6%. If he would have said "so sorry", but no comp 10%.

Now in our situation, it was just an appetizer, not our entire meals, but it still delayed things a lot.(at least 15 minutes I would think or so) In our situation, we found out due to my husband asking about where our appetizer order was and that's how we found out before our entrees came out.

It depends *WHY* it happened. In my situation from my previous post right before this one, the waiter me and my husband had HUGGED someone. He PLAYED on the job. So if he wouldn't have apologized or gotten something comped, he wouldn't have had a tip. So what they were honest. That doesn't mean they weren't playing around as to WHY it happened in the first place.

I had a waitress once when another server ran the food, part of my order was missing(a condiment and a side dish). I had seen our waitress when I had gone to the bathroom after I ordered putting on make-up. She was not in the dining area and she could have brought out the condiment out ahead of time rather than PLAYING on the job. So that hurt her tip to see WHY I got my order wrong. Wasn't that my server was doing her job, was it?

The asking about dessert until everyone is finished I 100% AGREE WITH, but the clearing plates I don't quite get if you are finished with them?

For me anyway, I LOVE when they take my dirty dishes to get them out of my way. My husband is a faster eater than I am and it makes us have more room on the table if they take his plate and it's faster when I am finished to be able to pay and leave faster. I don't see the point in making him have an empty dirty plate in front of him simply because I don't eat as quickly as he does?

The asking about dessert while I am still eating(and he's not), takes a deduction in the server's tip. THAT IS RUSHING ME. It's common sense people usually share desserts and eat courses together, so at the time the server takes my husband's plate, the server should only ask "Is there anything I can get you all at the moment?" That's it. NO word about dessert. It's like I want to say to them(but I don't) " HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF WE WANT A DESSERT OR NOT, HUH?" That one just irks me to no end.

Also, as you said bringing the check without offering anything else(dessert or after dinner drink), is rushing me as well. To those of you who want your check fast, *YOU* ask for it after you order your entrees. I mean really, it's that simple. You don't even have to pay until after you finished eating, but you can still ask for your check to be brought to you before you get your food. The server will abide(most likely) if you tell them that you are in a hurry and need your check before your food arrives. I am never in that situation to want quick service like that. While we hate waiting for our check a long time after we had asked for it, I still don't want anyone making decisions for us that's not theirs to make since they aren't paying for the service. Even if they guess right, points off the tip for being controlling(spending our tip money before we even give it even on what *THEY* want the service to be rather than what *WE* want it to be, as it SHOULD be since it's OUR service, OUR tip money, OUR WAY!

So what she was honest? That means NOTHING! What means something is if she was playing on the job or BUSTING ...? If she wasn't busy and she didn't seem to be working too hard, I wouldn't put brownie points towards lazy and uncaring workers. I don't count the honesty, because no matter what they can't give me my time back. I'd rather have my time than them to comp my meal personally. My time is worth more than the money.

As I said in my other post, it would depend on the situation and what had happened. I don't count the honesty thing at all. You can easily catch that on your check(we have had once ordered at Outback, my husband had a side salad and we shared an appetizer as well as 2 entrees, which we ordered around 5:53p.m., check had 6:11p.m.) Same thing happened at Texas Roadhouse wondering why we waited so long. I saw why, the server waited too long to put in our entree orders. You can probably catch a server in a lie anyway and that's why she told the OP. It's very easy to catch when they have the time on the check(assuming they have the time they put it in, not the time they printed the check).

Having grown up in the South, I don't mind this so much, especially in a diner or cafe. In a high end restaurant, i agree with you.



[/QUOTE] Don't clear plates or ask about dessert until everyone is finished with their entrees. Don't bring the entrees until the appetizer is finished or you've asked if we're finished. [/QUOTE]

100% agree. It's what distinguishes dining in a restaurant from just eating in a restaurant. It's proper dining etiquette.

I had a situation last year with a group of 8 of us. Admittedly, I am a slow eater. Waitress and assistant manager cleared EVERYTHING off of the table while I was still working on my entree. When I say everything was cleared off the table, I mean everything, except for my plate. Salt & pepper shakers, drink glasses, etc. were gone. Talk about uncomfortable! I didn't make a big scene. While the rest of my group was chatting, I quietly got up, went over to the front desk and asked for the manager. I explained to him what had happened and he understood immediately. He even related a story about dining with his aunt in a high end restaurant while he was very young and a similar situation occurred. His aunt sternly corrected the errant waiter. We laughed about it. Maybe, it's more of a Southern thing or New Orleans thing or a European thing, but I was taught this from an early age.

After talking with the manager, I saw him talking with the waitress and assistant manager, both of whom promptly came over to our table and apologized profusely. The manager then came over to the table with champagne flutes and a bottle of Alsatian Cremant, followed by our choice of dessert for everyone at the table. Plus, my entree was comped. We left a 20% tip. As we left, the assistant manager followed us out and, again, apologized profusely. Our group has subsequently returned to this restaurant and dishes have not been cleared until everyone has finished that course.

If I were that slow of an eater, I would be just as uncomfortable with everyone else sitting with finished plates in front of them as a cleared table. More so actually. Plates should always be taken when each diner is finished with them, any antique educate be damned.

People who frequently "dine" at McDonald's probably agree.