I'm still at a loss to understand why someone intelligent and successful enough to be able to afford to eat at a high-end restaurant would have the slightest interest in the views of a server as to the merits or otherwise of what's on the menu.

If a server steers a diner away from a particular dish then what is it doing on the menu in the first place ? And if a server ever gushes about a particular dish to me and I ask why the answer is almost invariably " I had it myself and it was great." Really ? I had liver and onions last night and it was really great but hey, not everyone is into offal or onions or gravy.

Over-bearing, presumptuous and intrusive are what really tick me off about some wait staff.

I'm still at a loss to understand why people have such strong reactions to the notion of a server's recommendation. I take people's advice on what to see and do in places I haven't been to, movies to see, music to listen to, why not food to eat?

I also don't understand what intelligence or success have to do with anything. Firstly, they're not requirements to eating anywhere and secondly, a hallmark of intelligence is knowing when to ask for help. Or at least to not be dismissive of the idea of it.

I frequently do it for a variety of reasons ranging from wanting the freshest fish to just getting the opinion of someone who has seen how quite a few people respond to different dishes. I tend to do it more at higher end restaurants since I expect the waiters etc to be better trained/experienced/informed. '

I almost always ask regarding wine. After we select food I typically ask the waiter/sommelier for suggestions in a certain price range which I tell them. This is very much the case at higher end restaurants. One of the things you pay for at high end restaurants is the knowledge and skill of the people working there.

I am not a child.

I just recalled my favorite experience of letting the people at the restaurant make a choice. It was my first time at Taillevent in Paris back in the 90's. The maitre de came over as we were ready to order desert. I confessed to being unable to decide over the many choices. He asked if I liked chocolate. I told him I "adored" chocolate. He said he would ask the pastry/desert chef to make a sampler of all of their deserts containing chocolate for me.

One of our favorite little places in Rome is like that. Never mind the menu. The waiter asks you what you like, what you are in the mood for, consults with the chef, and out comes a unique dish prepared specifically for you.

I had a wonderful experience at a Lebanese restaurant in Jacksonville earlier this year. Although some of my dining companions had had Lebanese food before, we consulted with the waiter to make sure we got a representative selection and didn't miss anything the chef was proud of. Before deciding what to bring, he asked about what flavors we enjoyed or disliked and whether anyone had allergies or sensitivies. The chef/owner visited the table three times and comped a dessert for us when we said we were all too full because he didn't want us to leave without trying it. I'm sure I would have enjoyed any meal I'd ordered there but the staff made certain of it.

Exactly. That's what these type discussions can lead to. Your experience in Rome reminds me of three other great experiences that have come about due to talking to the waiter about selections.

1) This was actually in Rome as well. We were at place off the tourist path and they had a special that sounded really good. They also had carbonara which is probably my favorite pasta dish if done right. I asked the waiter which he would recommend and explained my reasoning. Obvious answer, we'll give you half of each so you can try them both. And both were great.


2) I was at a highly recommended Indian restaurant in DC. I was asking the waiter for suggestions and he asked me how much experience I had with Indian food. I told him quite a bit, mostly in London but also several trips to India. He said they had a dish that night that was not on the menu and that based on the things I was interested in he thought I would like it. I told him to go for it and it was fantastic.

3) Cibreo in Florence. This place is different in that they don't have menus. The person working with your table, the night we were there it was the owners wife, comes out and sits down at your table and tells you the options for each course and discusses them with you. Then you choose, but in this case with a lot of input the waiter. One of the best meals I have ever had.

New restaurant in Cincinnati, the wait listened to me order then told me that the appetizer I ordered was actually rather large considering the main that I wanted. I asked which were smaller appetizers and he suggested one I liked. Good service. He got a better than average tip.

So you're tipping someone extra because he persuaded you not to have the original appetizer that you wanted ?
Why not just politely thank him for his advice and eat a smaller portion of that appetizer and leave the rest ?

Have you ever asked the guy selling you the movie ticket for advice on what to see? Asking a waiter's opinion is no different imo. You haven't the faintest idea what their personal taste is so their opinion may be totally off base to what you want. It is also possible that the person serving you has no interest in food and works their to pay the bills. I'm with Clint. The only time I ever ask is if I can't decide between two dishes and I'll use their opinion as a coin toss.

I think what Clint is saying, a bit more bluntly, is they are employed because of their service skills not their ability to make dining recommendations.

At better restaurants, the wait staff will often have tasted the meals for the evening. That provides a good reason for asking about menu items, as the written descriptions can't be as complete as the oral commentary of someone who's experienced the dish.

A server also has all the feedback from previous customers to draw on. That can be quite valuable.

Both of these. I usually when I do ask I have narrowed it down to two or three choices, however. And I am talking about better restaurants here, not rolling up to the drive in window at Le Castile Blanc and asking if they recommend the cheeseburger or the fish sandwich.

And? Just like I said...

Which part is wrong? You think at "better" restaurants the waitstaff are Michelin critics?

I couldn't care less what you do or don't do at a restaurant. I answered the question posed by the OP.

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cblaisd, Co-Moderator
Dining Buzz

So what you're saying is that if a person isn't interested in the opinion of the wait staff and prefers not to ask they're assuming themselves to be superior because their ego requires it ?

Like you say,it's all a matter of personal preference which is what the OP was inquiring about.

FWIW my son has just headed off for an evening shift at a hotel restaurant where he's working to help pay his way through university.His view on this is that people are fairly evenly divided between those who know what they want and others who can generally be persuaded to order whatever it is the hotel is trying to push.