Temper tantrum at next table - what would you do?
Jan 6, 2014 | 12:35 pm
#31
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I experienced this but with adults-a table of late 20's /early 30's guys. My husband and I were in a quiet fine dining restaurant, mostly filled with couples and small groups. The guys were VERY loud, boasting about what hot shots they were, badmouthing their wives, and at one point one of them started talking about what ballers they were and that "we own this place." In reality they were all probably barely out of school, in low level jobs and did everything their wife said!
Complaints (by several tables) to the management were responded to with " what can we do?" When we received our check I took it over to their table. The guys began making "hey baby come sit with us" type comments when I put the check in front of the loudest one. I told them since they owned the place I assumed they were paying for dinner. The one tried to argue -the others looked embarrassed and told him to shut up. The other restaurant patrons clapped. He paid our check and they left in single file, each apologizing on the way out.
Complaints (by several tables) to the management were responded to with " what can we do?" When we received our check I took it over to their table. The guys began making "hey baby come sit with us" type comments when I put the check in front of the loudest one. I told them since they owned the place I assumed they were paying for dinner. The one tried to argue -the others looked embarrassed and told him to shut up. The other restaurant patrons clapped. He paid our check and they left in single file, each apologizing on the way out.
Jan 6, 2014 | 9:55 pm
#32
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Nothing new to add here but I do want to say that I'm very impressed by the respectful dialogue here. I've seen so many kids crying on airplane threads hijacked and shut down after personal attacks that this was a very nice breath of fresh air. ^ to all involved.
Jan 8, 2014 | 10:37 am
#33
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Sometimes I have the urge to do this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHM57HcHJ_c
But I never do, because that would disturb even more people.
Problems like this stem from just one, extremely common, parenting mistake: having different rules for AWAY than you do for HOME.
If you want a child to behave properly in a restaurant, you have to teach them to behave properly at home. Making noise, playing with or throwing food, jumping down from the table and running about - these are all behaviors that are rude and innappropriate in a restaurant. However, my parents also taught us that these behaviors are rude and innapropriate ANYWHERE, whether at home, at a restaurant, or at the home of a friend or relative.
By eliminating these behaviors at home, you can eliminate them at restaurants, as well. And by dealing with them at home, you can train your kids in proper mealtime behavior long before they ever go to a restaurant, so that by the time you take them out to eat, they'll be perfectly behaved little ladies and gentlemen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHM57HcHJ_c
But I never do, because that would disturb even more people.
Problems like this stem from just one, extremely common, parenting mistake: having different rules for AWAY than you do for HOME.
If you want a child to behave properly in a restaurant, you have to teach them to behave properly at home. Making noise, playing with or throwing food, jumping down from the table and running about - these are all behaviors that are rude and innappropriate in a restaurant. However, my parents also taught us that these behaviors are rude and innapropriate ANYWHERE, whether at home, at a restaurant, or at the home of a friend or relative.
By eliminating these behaviors at home, you can eliminate them at restaurants, as well. And by dealing with them at home, you can train your kids in proper mealtime behavior long before they ever go to a restaurant, so that by the time you take them out to eat, they'll be perfectly behaved little ladies and gentlemen.
Jan 13, 2014 | 9:24 am
#34
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This seems like the appropriate course of action to me, too. The parent should have whisked the child away, but I understand that sometimes (as a parent), you have to stand your ground and ignore the tantrum. Except that I think that's only appropriate in the confines of my own house, not where my tantrum-thrower is going to impose externalities on others.
So I think the manager should have approached the couple and asked "is there anything I can do?" Or said, "I'm sorry, but the behavior here has led to some complaints. Perhaps you'd like to join us another evening?" Or something along those lines so the parents "get it" and either pack up and move on or at least whisk the child outside until he/she gets a grip.
So I think the manager should have approached the couple and asked "is there anything I can do?" Or said, "I'm sorry, but the behavior here has led to some complaints. Perhaps you'd like to join us another evening?" Or something along those lines so the parents "get it" and either pack up and move on or at least whisk the child outside until he/she gets a grip.
Jan 13, 2014 | 9:28 am
#35
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Sometimes I have the urge to do this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHM57HcHJ_c
But I never do, because that would disturb even more people.
Problems like this stem from just one, extremely common, parenting mistake: having different rules for AWAY than you do for HOME.
If you want a child to behave properly in a restaurant, you have to teach them to behave properly at home. Making noise, playing with or throwing food, jumping down from the table and running about - these are all behaviors that are rude and innappropriate in a restaurant. However, my parents also taught us that these behaviors are rude and innapropriate ANYWHERE, whether at home, at a restaurant, or at the home of a friend or relative.
By eliminating these behaviors at home, you can eliminate them at restaurants, as well. And by dealing with them at home, you can train your kids in proper mealtime behavior long before they ever go to a restaurant, so that by the time you take them out to eat, they'll be perfectly behaved little ladies and gentlemen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHM57HcHJ_c
But I never do, because that would disturb even more people.
Problems like this stem from just one, extremely common, parenting mistake: having different rules for AWAY than you do for HOME.
If you want a child to behave properly in a restaurant, you have to teach them to behave properly at home. Making noise, playing with or throwing food, jumping down from the table and running about - these are all behaviors that are rude and innappropriate in a restaurant. However, my parents also taught us that these behaviors are rude and innapropriate ANYWHERE, whether at home, at a restaurant, or at the home of a friend or relative.
By eliminating these behaviors at home, you can eliminate them at restaurants, as well. And by dealing with them at home, you can train your kids in proper mealtime behavior long before they ever go to a restaurant, so that by the time you take them out to eat, they'll be perfectly behaved little ladies and gentlemen.
Jan 13, 2014 | 1:02 pm
#36
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When confronted with another persons kid misbehaving and being ignored by the parents, I'd love to see another adult in the restaurant throw a real tantrum and throw themselves on the floor and rolling around screaming. I reckon that would shut them up!
Jan 13, 2014 | 1:29 pm
#37
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There SHOULD be a time in children's lives when they won't go out to eat (except at places that cater to children like Chuck-E-Cheese and various fast food establishments), because they are not yet properly trained in table manners.
It is the responsibility of the parents to not only properly teach kids how to behave, but also to refrain from foisting their children upon anyone else until such time as they are capable of such behavior.
Any whining from parents that "What am I supposed to do, stop going out just because I had kids?" presupposes that babysitters do not exist, and epitomized the selfish, self-centered, narcissistic (SP?) behavior that has led parents to abrogate those responsibilities, to the point where well-bahaved kids are the exception rather than the rule.
Jan 13, 2014 | 1:39 pm
#38
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You're missing the point.
There SHOULD be a time in children's lives when they won't go out to eat (except at places that cater to children like Chuck-E-Cheese and various fast food establishments), because they are not yet properly trained in table manners.
It is the responsibility of the parents to not only properly teach kids how to behave, but also to refrain from foisting their children upon anyone else until such time as they are capable of such behavior.
Any whining from parents that "What am I supposed to do, stop going out just because I had kids?" presupposes that babysitters do not exist, and epitomized the selfish, self-centered, narcissistic (SP?) behavior that has led parents to abrogate those responsibilities, to the point where well-bahaved kids are the exception rather than the rule.
There SHOULD be a time in children's lives when they won't go out to eat (except at places that cater to children like Chuck-E-Cheese and various fast food establishments), because they are not yet properly trained in table manners.
It is the responsibility of the parents to not only properly teach kids how to behave, but also to refrain from foisting their children upon anyone else until such time as they are capable of such behavior.
Any whining from parents that "What am I supposed to do, stop going out just because I had kids?" presupposes that babysitters do not exist, and epitomized the selfish, self-centered, narcissistic (SP?) behavior that has led parents to abrogate those responsibilities, to the point where well-bahaved kids are the exception rather than the rule.
Jan 13, 2014 | 1:52 pm
#39
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You're missing the point.
There SHOULD be a time in children's lives when they won't go out to eat (except at places that cater to children like Chuck-E-Cheese and various fast food establishments), because they are not yet properly trained in table manners.
It is the responsibility of the parents to not only properly teach kids how to behave, but also to refrain from foisting their children upon anyone else until such time as they are capable of such behavior.
Any whining from parents that "What am I supposed to do, stop going out just because I had kids?" presupposes that babysitters do not exist, and epitomized the selfish, self-centered, narcissistic (SP?) behavior that has led parents to abrogate those responsibilities, to the point where well-bahaved kids are the exception rather than the rule.
There SHOULD be a time in children's lives when they won't go out to eat (except at places that cater to children like Chuck-E-Cheese and various fast food establishments), because they are not yet properly trained in table manners.
It is the responsibility of the parents to not only properly teach kids how to behave, but also to refrain from foisting their children upon anyone else until such time as they are capable of such behavior.
Any whining from parents that "What am I supposed to do, stop going out just because I had kids?" presupposes that babysitters do not exist, and epitomized the selfish, self-centered, narcissistic (SP?) behavior that has led parents to abrogate those responsibilities, to the point where well-bahaved kids are the exception rather than the rule.
There's where we disagree. We live in a city and eat out 4-7 nights a week in places of various levels. Parents should do what they can to avoid imposing on others, such as by eating early and at places where you can get out quickly if you need to (i.e. no TFL or Alinea). But it's not reasonable to expect children to disappear from public life until they are old enough to have adult manners.
Jan 13, 2014 | 1:59 pm
#40
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There's where we disagree. We live in a city and eat out 4-7 nights a week in places of various levels. Parents should do what they can to avoid imposing on others, such as by eating early and at places where you can get out quickly if you need to (i.e. no TFL or Alinea). But it's not reasonable to expect children to disappear from public life until they are old enough to have adult manners.
The issue is often about babies, and if babies are likely to make a din then perhaps it is fairer not to eat out except when unavoidable?
Jan 13, 2014 | 2:13 pm
#41
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We eat delivery quite a lot, but lots of things don't travel well, and many of the restaurants we frequent do not offer delivery or even takeout. And I do not think any good comes of isolating children at home for the first few years of their lives.
Jan 13, 2014 | 2:17 pm
#42
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But presumably if you have brought up your children to behave at the table at home then they will probably behave well when out. If so it isn't the issue. If that effort hasn't been made then that lack of effort upsets others.
The issue is often about babies, and if babies are likely to make a din then perhaps it is fairer not to eat out except when unavoidable?
The issue is often about babies, and if babies are likely to make a din then perhaps it is fairer not to eat out except when unavoidable?
Jan 13, 2014 | 2:34 pm
#43
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My kids are in their mid 20s and were raised both in the US and Europe. In Europe I wouldn't have dared take them to a restaurant at night.
I think there are things that kids should look forward to. I say the same thing to my friend who if they don't travel private they travel F, I keep telling him that he is robbing his kids from things to look forward and strive for.
But I am not here to lecture you, we don't live in the same cities and frequent the same restaurants and if we do, not the same hours.
But let me ask you, your child is 20 month old, will your little cute still be eating out 4-7 times a week when she goes to school full time?
Last edited by Yahillwe; Jan 13, 2014 at 2:40 pm
Jan 13, 2014 | 3:03 pm
#44
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I know you didn't mean it like that, but your argument is still one of extremes. When my brother and I were little, my parents would go out once a week and left us home with a sitter. I remember being a little envious that they left and had a nice night out without us, but I also now think back on it fondly. They used their nights out like a date, and what do parents of young kids need more than some time alone together? They also taught us table manners so that when they did take us out, we behaved ourselves. I'm still shocked when I see kids running around a restaurant. That would have been unthinkable in my family. Unless you're in the McDonald's playroom or Chuck E Cheese, you sit at the table and eat.
Jan 13, 2014 | 3:05 pm
#45
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The issue here is what to do when you encounter this situation (as you inevitably will) not what you think parents should do or whether they should be dining out. That bridge has already been crossed.
Believe it or not, but babies are often easier than 3-4 year olds. We used to bring our baby to dinner all the time - he would sleep in his carseat and if he woke up we would hand him a milk bottle. 3-4 year olds lack impulse control, and can't be stifled with a bottle.