ConciergeBrandon

That wouldn't fly. Now with the kettles marching up front 'legitimately' to use the F toilet, the next thing you know:

http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/delta...ng-toilet.html

designflaw

Probably the funniest thread I have seen on here.

KevAZ

....said the person with leg room.
Reclining does zip for the person with their knees jammed against your seat back.
Sorry that you don't understand that. I don't complain when someone reclines, though I never recline. But the increasing frequency of seat back slammers does raise my temper. Knees are sensitive, but less than kidneys.

BoeingGuy

I was unaware that Golds an Silvers actually got upgrades

houserulz77

You want to recline your seat and cause me to spend the next 4 hours sniffing my kneecaps - that's your right, but once you put that seat back up, I'm wedging the barf bag into the hinge so tight that you aren't going anywhere for the remainder of the flight.

ashlex

I usually read and don't post.
I had to stop and say this one of the funniest threads I have read anywhere.
Thanks for the laughs.

Policypeddler

I agree with Ashlex, funniest thread I've read in days. I actually laughed outloud. Good one NYPDLeu!

AM-PM-DM

What this thread needs is a fart joke. Sadly enough, my recent experience is unfortunately no joke. - I am flying TATL EU-NYC and not a minute after leaving the gate this 'scent' creeps up my nose. I am thinking "nervous flatulence, this will pass". Little did I know...

You would think that aircraft with their air recirculation and air scrubbers would be able to handle this. But no.
On average, a normal person expels about 500 ml of gas over ~15 times a day. My seat neighbor was anything but normal.

But what do you do in a situation like this?
"Excuse me Sir. Your tendency to excessive meteorism couldn't escape my nose?"
"Sir, did you talk to your doctor about Tympanites?"

It reached a high point when lunch was served. I nearly chocked on my overcooked pasta.

At this point the people in the row in front of me started to turn around. Boy, was I embarrassed. "What if they think it is me???"
It did not help that one of them was a co-worker of mine.

So, I am thinking "Thank God for the guy who invented Ambien". Usually I do not take it in the EU-US direction. However, I saw no other way out than to tranquilize myself to escape the scent from ... well, I do not want to put this into words.

I did not make my plans with the seat neighbor behind me. He did not really understand that the touch screen is not a "push" screen. So every 15 minutes or so, I get woken up by some erratic poking to my back.
And I might have been in Ambien-induced Lala-Lula-Land, but I swear to you, during one of the "why-doesn't-this-screen-follow-my-commands-rages" I felt my seat vibrate from my neighbors flatulence.

nypdLieu how is this for seat vibrations???

photojojo

It's kind of funny this thread floated back to the top (no pun intended).

I was on SAN-ATL last night and got my usual 7D and there was someone in the lav behind us for nearly a full hour. No noise, no sound, and no, um, co-ed. I didn't have the nerve to ask if they needed any imodium.

arcticbull

Some lav-area seats are just so much worse than others. I usually don't mind the bulkhead seats in Y next to the toilet, but this one flight I was on (not DL mind you, and the route escapes me) was the worst flight I've ever, ever taken. It was 5-6 hours long, and maybe the toilet was broken or I don't know what. Y pax were in and out every 5 minutes and every time the door opened you could just _see_ the stink lines emanating from the doorway. The flushing noise, the poop-based aromas, the GRUNTING of constipation. I'd never experienced anything like it before, nor since.

Also the AVOD didn't work, the power outlet didn't work and this was a hard bulkhead with restricted legroom (as opposed to a curtain), and of course my laptop was dead because I was expecting to charge it. My oh my. Nothing to do but listen to grunting, smell the wafting aromas and try to go to my happy place.

To pass the time I asked the FA for as many complaint cards as she would give me and just went to town, doodling the situation. I drew comical diagrams of the aircraft seating config, including stick figures of myself wearing different hats, and my proximity to the toilet, and of course the stink lines. There was a pirate hat, a fruit hat, and so much more. I wish I'd saved it. Come to think of it this sounds completely nonsensical. I believe that the fumes from the toilet probably sent me into an altered state of consciousness.

I actually had them staple all 10 cards together and submit them to CS :P Long story short, I think I got some token credit, but I wasn't expecting one. I just did this to pass the time but the FA insisted on submitting the package. I hope that I made the day of whomever read it

(EDIT: I just remembered the route, it was a TATL, LHR to somewhere in North America)

ayya

LOL...
One of the funniest threads I read on flyertalk.

Flight405

Folks, seat recline and how it's used is no laughing matter! My pet hate is the type that, as soon as they are able, recline the seat to the fullest extent possible and leave it like that for the entire flight.

DL2SXM

I blame the fake cheese on the 'vibration' you encountered. Now, just imagine if you were in seat 7C on a 757. You would've been 'vibrated' to death!

jluxe

Ask the FA for a bag of coffee beans to mask some of the smell. If its later in the day, they may be able to afford it which saves some of the olfactory unpleasantness.
No Vicks needed.

DL2SXM

just as worse as the smell and the vibration was the actual noise of the toilet being flushed. You hear that whirrrrrrr sound and it lasts for exactly 4 seconds before it transitions into the lav door opening and slamming shut. I think DL needs to seriously consider relocating the forward coach lav or spending money to make the whole experience a quieter one.