Very well said.

I have long been a believer in the dictator style of do organization.

Great summary Skye1!!

Cheers.

I've added the "layover" option to my previous diatribe, noting how I seem to have just posted one myself .

I have been following this thread with much interest over the past few days. I have actually found myself reading this thread more than once a day, and reading the whole thread each time. I then hit the "Reply" button several times, started with a few words, and basically didn't know what to say. Not sure why, but it's been quite a while since that has been the case for me.
I have actually been thinking about it for quite a bit, and just can't put my finger on why.

Unfortunately I still don't know what to say, other than that skye1 did an excellent job summarizing the different types of Do's!^ There are advantages and disadvantages to each type, as I have learned from organizing/attending every type of meetup he has mentioned. I'll leave it at that.

Perhaps cuz you've both organized & been an attendee so you know 'the good, the bad & the ugly', so where to start, where to start?

Cheers.

No you won't You are simply too good at it!!!!

Definitely, of the two other IBBs I frequent.

With the unique exception of the gaylas, I think skye1 hit the nail. FT is almost 10 years old and has more members than ever, it's a natural evolution to have different events that target different segments of the audience. I'm confident that Randy, the MOD's and his team are on the pulse enough to make sure that no matter how things diversify, the values of FT and our common bond of travel will remain the thread that ties it all together.

What I'm shocked to hear is the awful manners and behavior that attendees have shown to the organizers. It's sad that those who can calculate EQM and cost-per point with their eyes closed can't pay their fare share for a dinner! Folks who can drop everything for a MR can't adheare to a reservation deadline, etc. I wish there could be an eBay style "feedback" system for members. I'm guessing the deadbeats, unreasonable requests and complaints would come to a quick end with such a system.

^^

I was asked about those. Not having been to one, I speculate they'd "fit" into under one or more categories, and I'm not sure I'd see a "need" to call some events gaylas and other events "Do's", but rather something based on size/scope of the event. I would think a "Do" organized by the GLBT forum would be a little self-eplanatory in terms of its "target" attendees, and from what I've seen, those are also open to all. I could be wrong, and if an "edit" is needed, I'll gladly give it a go.

I think one "system" for that lies in the references across this thread to the social networking that goes on off-board, and who/who does not find their way to such things. Certainly NOT meant to be high-school-clique-style exclusive, it's just a socially-mature recognition of any person's prerogative to pursue friendships with people they get along with...and not so much with people they don't. These are not "in crowd/out crowd" divisions as some perceive them to be, as there truly could not be one of either in a community of this size.....just the freedom people exercise (or give up) and the initiative (or lack therof) with their own, personal, social endeavors.

As a UK Do organiser, I am slightly bemused by the need to call some things gaylas and some things dos. We just call everything a do over here, and play by ear how gay or straight or neutral it is going to be on the night, post the first venue - has made for some interesting nights

Not a criticism, just another highlight of how things change around the world, and although there are some general rules, there are always exceptions!

From the bowels of Clapham to sticky 5 floor venues in Edinburgh, from the karaoke in Soho to the basement of the Polo lounge in Glasgow, to describe it all as just "interesting" would be a bit of an understatement!

If my understanding is correct, a "Gayla" is a meet which was first discussed on the GLTB Forum and may have a number of gay-oriented activities.

In a sense, this is no different than the first and second annual PBI-FLL meets, which were discussed on the Delta Forum, and known as the "Great Delta Forum Meet" before being brought over to Community Buzz.

In both instances, the meets are open to all FTers, regardless of their sexual and/or airline orientations.

Whether straights should be invited to Gaylas was a matter of some contention on the GLTB Forum in 2004 but this post by Randy Petersen put that issue to rest.

Yes I understood that, thank you Dovster. My point was that we manage to have Dos in London which have a number of 'gay orientated activities' but which are not called gaylas. It's generally understood by the locals that London Dos will be gay friendly - to the point where we've had to reassure the straights that they are welcome also on the odd occasion

Frankly, if someone decided to host a gayla in London, I would consider it a reflection that it was considered that my dos weren't gay friendly enough. Given, as AJLondon indicated, the various gay pubs, clubs and bars we've visited (or tried to visit - we queued for Heaven once, but Heaven wouldn't let us in ) in the course of UK dos (dear god, the Leeds Do karaoke! ) it is slightly hard to see how they could be anymore gay friendly, without involving scantily clad, fit young men... now there's an idea

As such, I do find the names, at least in a UK context, divisive. OTOH, I understand that not all dos may have the UK 'we'll try anything once so long as there is alcohol still being served' approach that attendees tend to have, perhaps we have a unique situation on this?

The DOs that we have organized have been either one of two types: A. Those where everybody paid as they went, including at a couple of fairly large dinners; or, B. Those where we had intended to pay for everything from the beginning. To the best of my knowledge, both types worked perfectly, although there may have been some minor issues at individual tables in the pay-as-you-go situations, that never came to my attention.

I have, however, attended numerous DOs where the organizers came up short and, as a result, the organizer or other responsible attendees have had to pitch in to cover the shortage. As a result of these experiences, I would strongly advise any DO organizer who is faced with a cover charge at a restaurant or on a tour bus, to insist on full payment from all attendees prior to the event, unless you really don't mind picking up a shortage.

Missy is absolutely spot on that the only way to organize DOs successfully is as a benevolent dictator--"This is what I have planned and this is how much it costs. If you want to come and enjoy, you are welcome. If you don't like my plan, stay home, and make a plan of your own."

Sure, there are attendees who will moan and complain about one thing or another, but that is their problem. The only time that an attendee has any reason or right to complain is if the the organizer blatantly misrepresents the offer. For example, publishing that an activity will cost $20 per person and then, after you have participated, requiring a payment of $60 per person. That has also happened, and it is just so not cool.

I will admit that we were much more Pollyannish in our early FlyerTalk days, treating everyone we met on FT like someone who would become a wonderful good friend. We got burned a few of times by folks whom we had treated with completely open honesty and hospitality, but that's ok. We have also found a few princes and princesses, and we are old enough to know that kissing a few frogs before you find a prince, is still a good investment.