IMO, the best antidote to wanting to retire from organizing these things is to team up. When the work is spread around between 3-4 FTers, it makes it all easier. Another tip is to have the organizing group make decisions.... just use common sense. If one of the other doesnt understand or want to go along, then thats fine... but those at the helm need to make things happen and sometimes simplicity needs to be first. Just my 2 cents.

I haven't read most of this thread.

But the one thing that would turn me off is over costs. Not on this site but another I have gotten stuck with some bills. And at other times felt like I've stuck others a bit.

I think the one thing people attending these things is that if you pay a little more than your exact meal its the cost of being in the group. At the same time we as organizers do try to come up with fair ways of doing things.

Oh, And no shows.... That after too many times can make us wonder why we do it. I know. I've been on both sides of that too.

I cannot believe some of the things I'm reading. Going to dinner and not paying? Quite honestly, it is unimaginable that someone would do that.

I had to cancel from a dinner I was schedule to attend and had already prepaid... in a million years I didn't expect nor ask for a refund, nor would I ever. I got one anyway and it was a total surprise.

IMHO, DO organizers shouldn't have to shell out a single penny for themselves at a DO they organize. Like group events held at hotels, they should be comped for all the work they have done.

Not sure if your comments were towards my post or not Mary.
But I am not for the organizers being comp'd unless the members there at the time decide to do it. I think they too should pay their own way. But to be "on the hook" to a restaurant or whereever that requires reservations and a large group holding half the tables in a place can be quite straining on the odds of that restaurant allowing your group back again.

And the other point about seperate checks not being acceptable with a large group.

I do think you have the right attitude towards a prepaid anything. It was very nice of them to get you a refund and I'm always glad to do that for people. But some events have set costs that do not change with who shows up.

Good post.

After hosting five events, I've never once come up short (once, we came up long, but that's another story ). All my events have been prixe-fixe, the price posted up front, and one of the attendees appointed to act as muscle for collection. Zero problems.

My biggest event had about 55 in attendance and it was a great time. It would be a shame to spend a whole weekend worrying about somone you don't like - I hardly have time for the people I love! And despite being nervous about all sorts of weirdos and losers showing up, each time has been above all an opportunity to get to know great people and with one exception, completely drama-free.

In the end, these things are much more work than most people realize. And the bigger they are, the less fun they are for the host, because we spend all our time organizing/explaining/translating and don't really get to spend as much time with our out-of-town guests as we'd like. So I haven't "retired" from organizing. I just prefer to host smaller get-togethers that I get to enjoy as well.

Jenbel - I think that there is a bit of cultural difference between the UK and the US - in the UK, being GLBT is more of a non-issue than in the US (and I'm speaking of in general society than our FT members here) - that's the biggest reason why many in the GLBT forum in the US want to have gaylas rather than call it a general Do.

That seems to be my impression as well.

However, if you are "speaking of in general society than our FT members here", then surely the justification for a gayla label is reduced as the event will be attended by the same said FT members and not by the general society...

No edit needed. As Peter and AJLondon pointed out, they are all interchangable. Of course there will always be times when certain sub-groups of FT will want to have Do's/meets/gatherings and GLBT ones are no different.

Sorry, I didn't intend to revive that discussion.

Excellent point, the "need" for gaylas seems to be unique to the USA. (Insert OT political comment here)

I thought it might be something like that, but nice to get confirmation

So long as none of the GLBT board is put off from attending overseas dos because they aren't gaylas

But the "want" for a "gayla" then arises from the US GLBT FTers wanting it to be "clearer" that the event is more for the GLBT people (obviously with some friendly "regular" people in attendance) than for the GLBT FTers attending a general event where the GLBT FTers may be in a usual minority.

Jen - Don't worry that US GLBT FTers won't attend an Int'l Do - there were plenty of us at the London Mega-Do. I think its actually the other way around, there has been a few proposals for Int'l gaylas that have not been successful.

Anyone who does not want to organise these things only needs to not offer to do them. Simple as that.

The ones I've been involved with created a great deal of work, and were all akin to herding cats as some others have commented, but as far as I know have been fun for all attending.

As to the dozens of doos I've attended around the globe, the three annual events Bernie organised in D�sseldorf all ran to incredible Germanic precision and were all superb affairs. ^

Sigh - we miss Bernie & his Dus Dos! Tours of castles, private boat rides, private concerts, etc, dinners at the top of the tower, etc.

The first MegaDos before London AFAIK were by Bernie, and total clockwork (in addition to trust; he paid up front & we all paid him, but even he had issues w/ getting folk to commit so he'd know what the final charge in advance was. 125E BTW for all weekend events).

But back to the topic, I've been to MegaDo, big dos, small dos, get togethers, & quick airport layovers. All are great for a variety of reasons.

The only thing that would get me to retire is when it becomes more trouble than it's worth/fun.

Cheers.

You are absolutely right, Ozstamps.

Those DOs that Bernie used to put together were among the very best I have ever attended. I wasn't quite sure how to deal with all of that ALT at 10:00 am at the courthouse, but I guess that is a very FT thing.

WOW, have we ever had a lot of fun at FT parties around the world. Aren't we lucky! ^

We are working at making your Tasmania DO next year, if we possibly can. Everybody needs to go to Tasmania.

I think this says it best. We are quite lucky to have all these parties around the world and to meet so many people worth meeting.

Its one of the things that makes my life so much better.

Agreed. I think all the comments so far about all the dorks that can get themselves across the planet but won't pay for their bill or who play major roles in companies yet whine about the arrangements some one else is working hard on--all, sadly, true.

BUT, so are the comments like this about all the fantastic times to be had by those who can put with the above and enjoy it for what it is. ^

I've met some FTers that, quite frankly, remind me of the job security I can take comfort in having if I keep my therapist certification current

And, i've met some FTers I regard as great friends, consider myself blessed to have met, and am glad to have done so in so many cool places around the planet. It's why my signature is what it is.