I am checking out a 23-year-old-female student to be a guide for my 12-year-old son in Wuhan for the next 6 weeks that he is in Wuhan. She seems very bright and creative, coming up with several really good ideas, and I expect that in checking her out everything will turn out OK.

However, my son's (old school) aunt and uncle, who are taking care of him, are reluctant to let my son go exploring in Wuhan, under virtually any circumstances because of safety concerns. My son is pretty bright and can take care of himself in a good number of situations. I am wondering whether there are significant safety concerns for a 12-year-old to go exploring Wuhan if his guide is trustworthy. (Should mention that my son is staying in Wuchang, so most of his exploring with the guide would be in that part of Wuhan.)

DB

I think if this is safe or not mostly depends on the guide.

What do the local 12 year old schoolchildren do? E. g. are they transported home on schoolbuses, or released to go home by themselves on foot, public transport and bicycles? When both parents work during day, do schoolchildren normally leave school before parents finish work and go to empty homes?

Is he an obvious foreigner? You mentioned that his mother is of Chinese descent, does he look really "white"?

If you can't speak the language and you are an obvious foreign looking kid, you will be susceptible to the usual scams and ripoffs.

I wouldn't want my kid to jump in a taxi or be out too late after dark - you just can't be sure. However if you are worried about physical violence or kidnapping, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. China is pretty safe in this regard.

Just use common sense.

IMO the risks in Wuhan are likely to be injury due to stepping in the holes in the sidewalk pavement, being hit by a motor vehicle, or illness from eating in the hole in the wall restaurants without running water to wash dishes.

Taiwaned,

My son looks half-Asian. The Chinese immediately see that he is not native Chinese although Americans definitely immediately see the Chinese. I don't want him out after dark. So, if the only issue is scamming (pretty unlikely with guide present) and not physical violence, then I want him to get out.

He has an ipod. I am assuming that he needs to extra careful that someone doesn't try to grab it. Thanks to everyone for their input.

DB

There's very little risk of your son being a victim of violent crime, if that's what you're concerned about. Scammers are unlikely to target an obvious child, foreign or not, as most are generally smart enough to realise that he/she probably isn't carrying much money. As for being paranoid about carrying around an smartphone/iPod, spending ten minutes in any Chinese city would make clear to you that nearly everyone is openly walking around with one of these things and yet somehow not having them constantly plucked out of their hands.

As others have said, the biggest risk is in being run over by a lorry or picking up some stomach bug from street food. Assuming you trust the guide, I see nothing to be concerned about.

True. I'm old school as well, and certainly would not let my 12-year old run around Beijing, Wuhan, or any other Chinese city without a 100% trusted "guardian." And I would find it difficult to put 100% of my trust in anybody that didn't come on personal recommendation from friend or relative. I'm on the fence as to whether the 23-years old and the young woman-ness factors are a plus or a minus. If you go forward with this, you'll have to put a lot of faith in this person.

I can see the aunt/uncle's point-of-view, as this is completely out of the norm for a 12-year old Chinese child, regardless of apparent maturity level. How can you be sure that they won't nix the arrangement entirely, since they have temporary physical custody?

What is the bigger fear? The 23 year old being negligent and letting the boy come to harm through inattention, or the 23 year old herself endangering the boy somehow?

Also, a 23 year old woman might herself be in a bigger danger... being an attractive prey for sexual harassment/rape in a way that a 12 year old boy is not.

The reality is that you are putting your son in the hands of a woman who you have never met I assume. My wife is strictly in the camp of old school and wouldn't let anyone watch our son unless they are friends or recommended by close friends in China.

I don't think physical harm is a worry in Wuhan but I do feel for his uncle and aunt who has responsibility for him and will worry about him nonetheless.

I would like to give some context to the situation. My son is scheduled to be in Wuhan until July 14th. Currently, he is attending an international school to learn Chinese in the morning. The rest of the day is spent mainly in a room in his uncle's house playing games. There is no one in my family who speaks good English.

The guide speaks very good English and has provided her identity cards. She has already met with the family, and offered to teach Mark in the family's home so that the family would be familiar with her character and background. She has come up with amazingly good ideas for Mark to explore Wuhan, such as a rock climbing, paintball, and exploring the European section with a Nikon camera. Thanks to the comments on this forum as well as the families concerns, I will be checking into a background more thoroughly. There is a very good chance that her background will be very good. (Would add that she is a college student on hiatus for the summer.)

If her background is very good, I have to balance the incredible experiences that Mark may get from excursions with the guide against the relatively small chance that something very bad for him will occur. Mark is very mature and clever for is age. An example of that is shown by a discussion that occurred when he was eight or nine. I was trying to get him to exercise more instead of playing games. I suggested to him that he might be the victim of a bully, if he didn't exercise more. He told me that if someone attempted to attack him that he (Mark) would grab a pencil and poke the aggressor in the eye.

Of course, the family can make whatever decisions they wish because I am not in Wuhan. However, I want to know whether I should strongly attempt to persuade them to permit Mark to explore Wuhan with a guide. I should add that Mark has expressed a fear of getting bored many times, and I told him that if he really gets bored I will bring him back to the United States. Right now a once in a lifetime opportunity to explore China has been wasted. I want to remedy that situation if I can.

I understand the conflicting situation you are in. And it may be appropriate to ask on an IBB whether Wuhan, in general, is a safe city or not. I've not been, but I believe it is safe from accounts of my students etc. from there.

But really, asking sanction from a bunch of internet strangers about to whom to entrust your child? And your anecdote might say your son is clever and resourceful, or just has a nasty streak -- not meaning to judge -- but it's impossible to say from your related anecdote, and since I will likely never meet him, that will always be the case.

It's ultimately your call. But I would say this: you have chosen to leave your son with his Chinese relatives, but repeatedly, you come on here complaining about them. This tells me some deep underlying issues that you have, which we can't solve. Legally speaking (I think, I'm no lawyer), when someone is in loco parentis, as your son's guardians are, their sayso should trump everything shouldn't it? They are ultimately responsible for your son whilst you are the absentee parent. If they don't feel comfortable, is it really ethical, just and fair to tell them to 'shove it' and entrust your son (and their beloved nephew) to what to them (justified or not) is a stranger??

By the way, the 'amazing China experience' you want your son to have is probably to learn about real Chinese culture -- and that will come far more by living with real Chinese people, not rock climbing or taking photos with a Nikon or some other branded digital camera. And since the guide will speak English, how will it improve your son's Chinese language skills?

I don't mean to have a go, but I really don't understand what you are trying to achieve by asking us, complete strangers, with regards to your son's safety.

tb

Does seem odd for a travel forum. Maybe better suited for a parenting forum.

I agree with Trueblu.

You should value the opinion of those who are taking care of your son. If you are interested in exposing him to "Chinese" culture, instead of rock-climbing or taking pictures of the "European" section, why don't you start by asking his aunt and uncle what activities kids of his age do?

Instead of paying an adult guide to speak English to him, why not just have him play with neighbors's kids of his age (even if it starts with just video games)?

Dailey, I have to say that I agree with everything trueblu is very eloquently saying here.

Additional context provided notwithstanding, there is definitely something incongruent by putting your son's relatives in charge of his welfare while you're on the other side of the planet, yet then proposing something that they can't buy into but leaves them on the ultimate hook for responsibility in the (unlikely) event something happens to him. I suppose if this prospective guide can gain their confidence and trust in baby steps, then you and relatives will end on the same page and your son will end up not bored. Although frankly, his potential boredom doesn't seem that it should be the main driver of the resolution, if any.

While I'm reasonably comfortable in saying that Wuhan isn't any more or less dangerous than most other large cities (and in fact, I find Wuhan natives wherever I meet them in China to be some of the nicest and most helpful around), I'm uncomfortable in making any judgment on what you should do on this.