unixone

Being new to the board I am feeling brave
starting a new thread. But I have seen
enough posts on fat people so I thought
a little change of pace to funny ones would
lighten up the day.

Last year while flying back from my 25th
High school reunion in Texas, Ma & Pa Kettle
where seated with me. I guess it was their
first airplane ride and they had to be in
their 60's at least. I believe a family
reuion was their reason for leaving the
surface of the planet.

But they discovered the air phone.

First call was very funny, second call was
really funny, third call was a hoot.

About the 10th call and "Hey ya'll won't
guess where we are" I was having a hard time from really laughing out loud. I was tempted to ask them if they knew how much the calls
were but did not want to spoil their day.


Anyone else had a good laugh at 30,000 feet?

MoreMilesPlease

Flying from Riyadh to London on BA I was across the aisle from a woman and her two kids, ages about 10 and 12. We struck up a conversation. I was returning to the States via London and she was heading back to Northern Ireland after visiting her husband. About an hour into the flight she "offered to buy ne a drink". I agreed even though I rarely drink on flights. She rings for the FA and then proceeds to dig out her purse and money.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Getting money for the drinks", she said.
"I said I was buying."
I explained the concept of free drinks on international flights. She didn't believe me until the FA came and confirmed that all drinks were free. This was the most glorious thing she had ever heard and five hours later, after many, many drinks and a lot of good conversation we poured ourselves off the plane. Thank goodness her children were old enough to gather our luggage and get us through customs. My friends picking me up were amazed to see me come through the door arm in arm with this woman- singing- followed by her kids with all of our luggage in tow.

UAL Traveler

In the early 90's there was a major marketing thrust to capture first-time pax with very low fares. As I recall, I was on a transcon in coach, with a middle-aged guy seated next to me in the middle seat. He was quiet and polite. I didn't pay much attention until about three hours or so go by and he starts fidgeting around. When I noticed him sweating a bit, I asked if everything was OK. He said it was his first time on an airplane, and was impressed with the whole setup, but darned if they couldn't improve things by adding a restroom. A smile broke out on my face as I knew that in about 5 seconds I was going to be this man's hero...

MrRitz

We had a guest call down to the concierge, they needed some packing tape. We had the tape sent up. He then called down for a bellman to help him move. He was on our club level and thought the entire room was his to pack up and take home. It was on of the funniest things I have ever seen. He had some how packed everything in boxes, that came from housekeepin, and was ready to take "his" room home.

I know this did not happen in the air, but is was pretty funny.

[This message has been edited by MrRitz (edited 07-29-2001).]

hfly

Once I flew Sao Paolo-Paris and the Brazilian natonal (under 21) rugby squad was seated all around me.

I listened as they panicked that there was not a bathroom on the plane, I had to step in as one started to maneuver a 2 litre bottle in the seat to relieve himself.

essxjay

Great stuff, folks!

And welcome to FT, MrRitz ...

opus17

If we don't exclude Southwest, this is going to be a loooooooooooooong thread...

outoftown

I read of review of ValueJet in the Raleigh News & Disturber when they first offered service out of RDU many years back. To promote it being a "fun" airline (this obviously before the crash), the FA played a game to see which side of the plane would get to exit first. She started a roll of toilet paper which had to passed over your head to the row behind. This continued until the roll got to the last row and then went back to the front. Business types that did not want to participate grudgingly had to or they would face the wrath of their fellow pax on that side of the plane. This story alone kept me from ever setting foot on a ValueJet plane.

UAL Traveler

Reminds me when I saw a 'sign' above the dispenser on a TG flight. In Thai it said Please Conserve: Use Both Sides. Might have been a joke, as the sign didn't look all that official. In a similar vein, I've also seen on TG (but not for a while now) a sign in the lavatory that read Please Do Not Stand on the Seat. There was no English translation. It wasn't a joke.

holland

I saw a sticker in the back of a stall in CLE that said "Toilet camera for research purposes only" -- placed strategically about 2" above the flashing red light on the automatic flush assmebly.

Saw an official-looking 'NO STEP' sign over the toilet paper dispenser in another airport years ago (MCI or BOS, probably).

JamesD10

A business associate and I were flying from DEN-BOS on a UA MD-80 several years ago. He was on the window and I on the aisle which left me to have to run to the back of the plane to get paper towels when he spilled ginger ale on his pants.

When I opened the door to the lavatory, there was a little old woman doing her business on the john. It seemed that she had forgotten to lock the door. The lady screamed, I slammed the door shut and the FA who was working in the galley across from the lavatory started laughing hysterically, probably because of the look on my face.

I got the paper towels and returned to my business associate who wondered why it took me so long. I explained to his disbelief. For the remainder of the flight, every time the FA passed me, she started laughing again.

This story never ends...Two days later, coincidently, our return flight had the same crew and the FA at the door said that we looked familiar. When I told her that I was the one two days before to open the toilet door on the lady...laughter again.

WinginIt

I have many stories from when I worked as an aiport ticket/gate agent.

One that comes to mind.........Checking in a purple hair, elderly woman wearing her polyester Sunday's best.

Ticket agent - "You were reserved a window seat. Is that what you prefer?"

The woman pats her hair a bit and says very grandmotherly, "Oh no dear, I dont want a window seat. I just got my hair done. The wind will mess it up."

hmmmmm.........

Planenut

On a Southwest flight to Reno from SJC, the FA was serving a group of PAX sitting in 2 rows in front of me. They apparently knew each other because the teasing was non-stop between the FA and the passengers in front of me. Toward the end of the flight, the turbulence was so heavy that a few of the passengers were getting nervous. The FA took advantage of this and brought some empty plastic cups on a tray from the front of the plane toward the rear. He of course stopped at his friends row, and after the next big bump came along, the FA pretended to slip the tray from his hands, and dropped all the empty cups all over the PAX in front of my row. At first most of us thought the cups were full, but it immediately dawned on us that they were empty and it was a joke. There was continuous laughter for the remainder of the trip.

Erik.

MoreMilesPlease

We had some of these signs in the hospital in Saudi. I worked with mainly Bedouwin and many of them climbed onto the toilet seat to "go". It was quite amusing to see a nine month pregnant woman calling for help to get down. :O

MoreMilesPlease

I can't seem to get those quotes quite right! Oh well, forgive me.

A couple of things that happened to my husband on internal flights on Saudia.

A man boarded that plane with a falcon. Hooded and leashed of course.

In the early 80's two men had a bulkhead seat and proceeded to use a small butane stove to make tea. My husband said that he had never seen the FA move so fast on that one.

After everyone had boarded, doors closed and plane about to pull out the anouncement was made as to the flights destination. A man actually got up to say he was on the wrong flight. They did open the doors to let him off.


And the ever occuring "incident" on flights going into Saudi on Saudia. As alcohol is banned in Saudi Arabia and Saudia didn't serve it on flights many people would bring their own onto the plane. This was consumed discreetly during the flight. The only real problem happened when landing. What to do with the bottles??? Most people stuffed them into the seats but many were put under the seat. When the plane lands you could quite often hear the "clink, clink, clink" of bottles rolling around. On one flight a wine bottle went rolling down the aisle while everybody sat there as if nothing happened including the FA's!