Sign above the paper toilet seat covers on a flight coming out of DFW:

"Free Cowboy Hats!".

I got the strangest looks coming out of the bathroom, since I was laughing so hard in there, it must have been odd listening to my gut busting hee haws

Just tell 'er not to worry, the window's broke and it doesn't go up.

Welcome to FT, unixone, MoreMilesPlease, MrRitz, JamesD10, WinginIt, and salesslug!

It's amazing - the funniest stories here seem to be from the newest members!

Thanks Tulane. It's ptobably that you haven't heard them a million times like all our family has! You know how it is. I can repeat verbatim all of my father-in-laws stories. I got a few more but they're not really "plane" related although they did happen at various stages during vacations.

I read an article a while ago -- I think it was in the Wall Street Journal -- about how democratic flying is getting.

Well, sometimes, it goes too far. Apparently, some woman won a wet t-shirt contest while she was in Florida. She decided to demonstrate the, um, um, um, form, that allowed her to win that contest on the flight back.

Now while I've never seen that, I have seen a dirty old man make a point of dropping stuff when a very attractive flight attendant walked by so he could, um, um, um, enjoy the view. And she knew it, too. And boy, was she pissed.

Many years ago some friends and I were heading to Dallas from New York to see a Cowboy's game. We were having fun messing around with each other but we could not top what was about to happen by accident.

My friend sitting in an aisle seat leaned over into the aisle to talk to the person sitting behind him. He was unaware that an FA walking backwards from the front to the back of the plane rolling a beverage cart was about to hit him.

We hollared for him to watch out, only to have him turn around precisely as the FA's rear end bumped into his face. They both were a bit red-faced and apologetic. We all quietly laughed because we could not have planned something as hysterical as that to happen.

My friend must have had too many drinks on that trip because the exact same scenario played out again a little while later. This time nobody could contain their laughter. Not once, but twice it happened. It may have been a different FA going in a different direction, but that did not matter. He was so embarrassed.

Needless to say my friend no longer leaned over into the aisle anymore. He turned around in his seat and talked over his headrest when he had to.


Mike

On a BKK-CPH flight, a (Norwegian) SAS FA leaned over my seat to pull down the window blinds. I was awoken by a Norwegian breast in my face! My friends (sitting behind me) had lots of fun

Lucky you!

P.S. On the Valuejet flights the toilet paper was used to stuff into cracks to cut down on noise. Alfred--

I sometimes enjoying flying AA MIA-DCA late afternoon for a glorious sunset out West.
However, I had a seat mate who was angry at the ticketing agent who didn't honor his specific request to sit on the "shady side" of the plane. Was he looking to get out of the sun or to play cards and drink?!?

------------------
"Fly me to the moon and let me earn alot of miles."

In 1997 while vacationing in the Cook Islands, took a commuter flight to an outlying island (Awataki) to snorkel for the day.

Just prior to the return flight (twin Turboprop "Banderante"), got to talking with the Australian copilot and explained to him that I was a private pilot but hadn't flown much in the last 6 months due to bad weather in the States.

With me leaning into the cockpit, we continued our conversation once airborne and about half way into the one hour flight, he said "Hey Mate, wanna fly the approach?" I was surprised, and with 20 paying passengers in the back, got shy and gracefully bowed out.

To this day, I'm kicking myself for not taking him up on the offer.

Used to fly a lot in Russia and FSU, so many tragi-funny memories:

Steps wheeled away from aircraft while would-be passengers are still standing on them...

One lucky passenger hoisting self from ramp
through door after steps were removed ....

Standing for 4 hours on one internal flight .....

Turkeys pecking through box under seat in front ...


More recently:

Getting upgraded AA Economy to First thanks to rude passenger in Business who thus really missed out ...

Engine leak on flight in Mozambique: Pilot: "Yeah, the often overfill the hydraulic fluid ... nothing to worry about."

Well this happened today, and it was pretty funny! After our first flight was cancelled, our family of 4 was rebooked on a flight in which one of us would receive a first class seat. Wife and I discussed who would get it then finally decided youngest daughter (age 13) was due for some royal treatment so we let her have it. It was a 3.5 hour flight with breakfast from Seattle to Memphis (NW). After we got off, the three of us were all asking - "What did you get for breakfast?"

We were speechless when she told us "I wasn't hungry so I didn't order anything." Mom and big brother (age 17) were nearly irate. Then poor daughter felt humiliated so started sulking.

I tried to smooth it over..."That's one of the nice things about first class..you can do whatever you want...if you don't want to eat, you don't have to!!"

But Mom had to get in one more - "Next time if you're not hungry come get one of us and we'll eat it!!"

I grew up in the Turks & Caicos Islands (Small group of islands just south of the Bahamas)and go back often to visit. I always wait until the absolute last minute to go to airport to catch the inter-island flights and on one trip was no exception. Except that this time the plane already had the doors locked and propellers fully engaged - ready to go. I saw a school friend who worked at the counter and he promptly radioed the pilot, who shut down one propeller, opened the door and let me on. There was a group of Tourists on board who just looked at me like "who is that - King of the Island?" Anyway flight progressed, got to Provo,stayed foe a few days and had a great time. Two days later, back to the airport again for the flight back to Grand Turk, and guess what? Airplane this time was already taxiing out to the runway. I asked agent (another friend) when was next flight. Incredibly he called the pilot - they turned around! After getting back on board, guess who was on the flight? The same tourists that were on the way over! For the whole flight all I could here them talking about was how easy going the Island was that this high ranking official traveled around in shorts and without bodyguards.

A few more.

In some of the out Islands there were no counters, you just paid when you got to the main destination. On a flight from Salt Cay to Grand Turk ($10.00 fare) an elderly island gentleman, reached into his pocket and after realizing hat he only had $5.00 asked the pilot if he could let him off half-way!

On another Inter-island flight, I took a girlfriend down to visit. We were the only two on the flight and had brought a bottle of rum and some cokes on board.After pouring a round, my girlfriend jokingly asked the pilot if he wanted one, he said sure and chugged it, then asked her if she wanted to land the plane! As far as I know he stopped flying - hopefully